Less High School Musical 2, more Jesse

I seriously hope you all enjoy Jesse’s presence here and appreciate what I’ve gone through to make sure it’s possible. I just finished fulfilling my obligation to watch High School Musical 2 in exchange for this little appearance. First off, I’m thrilled to have missed HSM 1. Secondly, that was excruciating. Thirdly, let’s move on. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

Once again, I (BB) sat down with Girlfriend of the Blog (GB) Jesse during ESPN Thursday night football for a little one on one.

GB: What mascot is that?
BB: A terp. A terrapin.
GB: What’s that?
BB: A turtle.
GB: That’s not a turtle. Aren’t turtles green or brown?
(ESPN is interviewing Darryl Hill, first African American to play in the ACC)
GB: That guy looks like the guy from Goonies! Heeeey yoooooou guys!! Ah, so sad. I’m so mean. Ha! He totally looks like him, though!
(My sincere apologies to Mr. Hill. This blog does not wish to go to hell.)

BB: Ok, first question, give me your impression of the Oregon-Michigan game.
GB: I thought we looked sharp in our uniforms. Dennis Dixon looked amazing which scares me a little bit.
BB: Why?
GB: Because he started good last year and then faded off.
GB: I thought the coaches were genius. I said that like 5 million times during the game. A couple drives were disappointing because we didn’t score.

BB: I can’t keep up with you.
GB: That’s why you failed at journalism.
BB: Most people have tape recorders.
GB: What did they do in the olden days? Do you think they had tape recorders? No, they knew how to write fast.
BB: I hate you.

BB: What do you think about the Duck mascot and his fight (which I still say was staged)?
GB: You know what’s really weird? Why didn’t the Cougar fight back?
GB: That guy’s fast (West Virginia RB Noel Devine)! His legs are crazy like the roadrunners.
GB: The fighting wasn’t so bad, but he was pervetedly graphic. Is that the right thing to say?

BB: What mascot fight would you most like to see?
GB: I don’t know. That’s a stupid question. I’m sorry I’m not you and don’t know every mascot on every team. The Stanford Tree and this turtle would make a good fight.

BB: How about this Oklahoma fan that gave a Texas fan 60 stitches in the crotch while at a bar?
GB: How drunk was he? What a dumbass! Did Oklahoma and Texas just play? Are they rivals or something? I don’t get it. Did he rip it? Seriously, how do you get 60 stitches there? Boys are so territorial about their teams. They’re like cavemen.

BB: Are you happy with Oregon’s #19 ranking?
GB: I don’t care. I like being underestimated. We’re better being the underdog. I don’t like it when we’re the overdog.
BB: Overdog?
GB: Well, what do you call it?
BB: I don’t know.
GB: Yeah, exactly. I’m right.
(and apparently, she is, so says dictionary.com)

GB: Wouldn’t you have to be in shape to be ref? This guy’s really fat.
GB: Why are flags yellow? They should be pink. You know why? No team wears pink. If a yellow team had a piece of the jersey torn, a team could think it’s a flag and stop playing.
BB: I’m pretty sure that’s never been an issue.
GB: Well, it could be.

BB: Okay, Oregon vs. Fresno. What are you thinking?
GB: I know nothing about Fresno. I know that they hate us because we always beat them. I think we’ll win. It’ll be a great test since it’s not a big game.
BB: Your offensive MVP of the game?
GB: Someone is gonna’ be an amazing receiver this week ’cause we haven’t had a kickass receiver yet.
BB: Defensive MVP?
GB: I want to see someone on the d-line step up and do good. Hardcore.
BB: Hardcore?
GB: Don’t write that. Please? Nick, please?
(Pinches me)
BB: Okay, I won’t, I’m just catching up.
(Stops pinching me)

BB: Score prediction?
GB: I’m gonna’ say 27-14 (in favor of Oregon).