No one reads this blog, I’m to blame for the 2001 loss to Stanford and Miami looks like sumo wrestlers

Jesse’s back and just a tad ornery this week. Luckily, my brother Kevin is in town to support me. This week’s conversation took place during ESPN Thursday night football between Miami and Texas A&M. As always, Jes is represented as Girlfriend of the Blog (GB) while I stick with Blogging with B (BB). Newcomer Kevin, Sibling of the Blog (SB) also makes an appearance.

GB: Miami’s outfits have a sumo-esque look.
BB: Huh?
SB: What?
GB: You know, sumo wrestlers?
(We don’t get it)
SB: Is it the tailbone pad?
GB: Look! (She points and I’ll be damned if she doesn’t have a point. It’s an entirely different experience watching these games with her).

BB: Okay, real quick, recap your thoughts about last week’s game, Fresno vs. Oregon.
GB: It was boring.
BB: Why?
GB: I hate when you ask stupid questions.
BB: What’s stupid?
GB: I’m not in the mood right now.
BB: Get in the mood. You have fans that depend on you.
GB: What fans? No one reads your blog.
SB: Why are you so mean to him?
GB: Do you read his blog?
SB: No.

BB: Ok, great, now about the last game…
GB: I wish we’d score more in the second half.
GB: Does Texas A&M realize their helmets say ATM?
BB: Sigh.

SB: Nick, who are you betting on this weekend?
BB: Not sure.
GB: He’s not allowed to bet. He has no money.
SB: Ok, who are you not betting on?
GB: He can’t bet. He loses. He’s not fun to be around when he loses.
SB: Nick, do you ever feel like you never get support in this relationship?
BB: All the time.

BB: Ok, let’s try another football question. Preview the Stanford game for us.
GB: I know nothing about them other than their mascot is a tree.
BB: We went to the Stanford game last year. You’ve seen them play.
GB: I’m not like you. I can’t remember every team.
BB: Well, Let’s go back a few years to the 2001 season, the last time Stanford beat Oregon
GB: Oh, you know what that game was?
GB: My back went out on me and Nick wouldn’t leave the game to take me home (Kevin says, “nice” and has me pound it out). I had to walk home by myself and have my mom come pick me up. He stayed and we lost the game. That was his punishment.
BB: You’re putting the one loss that cost Oregon a shot at the national championship on me?
GB: It is because of you. You had awful karma.

BB: So what’s your prediction for this game? We’re gonna’ win easy, right?
GB: You say that, but what if we go in there and lose?
BB: We won’t.
SB: They’re not losing (and he’s a Beaver fan).
GB: Every game’s a game. You gotta’ compete.
GB: I want it to be 72-4.
SB: Two safeties, huh?
GB: No, a field goal and an extra point.
GB: I think it’ll be 50-something to 14 because Bellotti will put the second string in.

BB: All right, we’re done.
GB: No, we’re not done. That whole interview sucked. You never asked any questions.
SB: You don’t even know what’s happening. You’re just talking and talking and giving material.
GB: Whatever.