GOTB’s a little inquisitive and I’m short on answers

It’s a big weekend of football and you don’t have to tell the GOTB that. She knows what’s at stake and is back for another round, this time sans POTGOTB. Lotta’ pressure, Jes. What do you have for us?

NOTE: As always, the conversation occurs during the course of ESPN Thursday night football, this time featuring Boston College and Virginia Tech (what the hell Hokies?!?!)

BB: We gotta’ do GOTB!
GOTB: I’ll do GOTB when you tell me what a Hokie is.
BB: No idea.

BB: Let’s do something a little different to get started. How ’bout a little midseason trivia?
GOTB: Ok, I’m not very good.
BB: I’ll start off with some softballs.
GOTB: Softballs are hard, too
BB: Hmm, I suppose they are.

(ESPN commentator Todd Blackledge says, “I agree, that’s a hard play you gotta’ make when your quarterback sticks it in between two defenders)

GOTB: Hehehehe.
BB: So mature.

Qeustion #1: Who’s currently the #1 team?
(Thinks long and hard)
GOTB: Ohio State! I had to think. I knew it wasn’t USC, it couldn’t be LSU because you already said earlier they’re #3 and it’s not Boston College because they’re #2 so I had to remember another team.
BB: How’d you remember Ohio State?
GOTB: I don’t know. I’m a miracle worker.

Question #2: List as many teams as you can from #1 on down the BCS rankings.
GOTB: Ohio State, Boston College, LSU, Arizona State and Oregon. That’s all I know.
BB: Come on, you can get more.
GOTB: No I can’t! Stop it!

Question #3: What’s the best conference in college football?
GOTB: According to who?
BB: According to the entire world.
GOTB: SEC?
BB: Of course.

How many losses does Appalachian State now have?
GOTB: 1.
BB: No.
GOTB: 4
BB: No
GOTB: 2

Who’s in first place in the Pac-10?
GOTB: Isn’t it tied between ASU and UCLA?
BB: Very good.
GOTB: YES!

Last place in the Pac-10?
GOTB: Is it tied between Washington and Arizona?
BB: Washington and Washington State.
GOTB: Ah, sucks to live in that state.
BB: That it does.

What did Pete Carroll say to Mike Bellotti on TV last year?
GOTB: EDITOR’S NOTE: This answer has been censored for your protection.

GOTB: What is that guy doing? I think I could be a special teams coach?
BB: Why would you think that?
GOTB: I don’t know, why do they call it special teams? Usually when you call someone special, it means they’re disabled. You know how some kids are disabled? Well, don’t say disabled, that’s mean, but they call them special.
BB: Wow.
GOTB: Really, though. Why are they special teams?
BB: I don’t know.
GOTB: You’re not answering any of myquestions. You didn’t tell me what a Hookie is.
BB: Hokie
GOTB: Whatever, you still don’t know what it is.

GOTB: How do you become a Tech school? Do you focus on technology?
BB: I guess. I don’t know.
GOTB: You don’t know much about your job.
BB: What’s my job?
GOTB: Knowing stuff.

(They show the Hokies mascot picture)
GOTB: That must be a Hokie! Why are everybody’s mascots a bird?
BB: Everybody?
GOTB: Yeah.
BB: Ok, realistically, what percent of teams would you say have mascots as birds?
GOTB: 70%. No, there’s a lot of dogs, too. 50. Wait, 40.
BB: Pick a number!
GOTB: 40
(Blog fact checker says:14.16% of all Football Bowl Subdivision teams have a bird as a mascot.)

GOTB: Has anyone ever stabbed someone else in the huddle?
BB: What? Why are you even asking that?
GOTB: I don’t know, just wondering.
BB: You need to watch one less episode of CSI a week.

GOTB: What’s on that guy’s arm?
BB: I don’t know.
GOTB: Dude, honestly, the only answer you have to my questions is, “I don’t know.”
BB: You ask retarded questions (or should I say special).
GOTB: No I don’t. I ask what the people want to know. No one else asks them because people like you say it’s retarded.

BB: Okay, we need some full-on football analysis. What does the offense need to do this weekend to be successful?
GOTB: We have to put our tall receiver Jaison Williams on a short DB. We need Jones back because he’s fast and we need the little man (Pflugrad) to catch everything. Dixon needs to throw the ball well. I’m a little afraid to have Stewart run. I feel like he’s gonna’ get hurt. I feel like the Trojans are going to pound Stewart harder than anyone ever has.
BB: Um…
GOTB: And we need to bust out some new trick plays.

(After arguing about a ridiculous point she made about our defense…)
GOTB: That’s it, I don’t want to do this anymore.
BB: Come on.
GOTB: If you can tell me what that thing is on the ref’s belt, I’ll finish.
BB: It’s a beanbag to mark the spot of a fumble.
GOTB:Why didn’t you answer that the last time I asked?
BB: You never asked that question.
GOTB: I did too. You don’t pay attention to me. I’m done.
BB: Well, at least give us a score prediction.
GOTB: 48-31
BB: Who wins?
GOTB: We do. What do you mean who wins? Good Lord, you’re dumb.