You have to understand that for GOTB to work on a weekly basis, you have to get her in the right frame of mind. If not, it’s terribly difficult to execute. As I sat down during the second half of West Virginia and Louisville, it quickly became apparent…my timing was off.

GOTB: First off, West Virginia’s uniforms are the ugliest I’ve seen in my entire life.
BB: Ever?
GOTB: Ugliest ever.
GOTB: And why are they wearing white socks? Why didn’t they wear something that goes with it?
BB: That doesn’t go?
GOTB: Not at all.

(At this point, I begin searching for something in the Oregon game my dad mentioned to me. I think GOTB will like it. She becomes impatient and decides she doesn’t want to do this, gets up, declares she’s not saying anything until someone tells her why all quarterbacks have a green sticker on their helmet. She declares a boycott. Ever hopeful, I record the fourth quarter and await her return from a half hour bath.

During the break, I managed to find what I was looking for from the Oregon game and show it to GOTB upon her return.)

GOTB: He’s (the ref) got a pink whistle. So what?
BB: So what? After all you’ve fought for to promote the unity of pink and football, you’re on the record saying, “so what?”
GOTB: What’s the big deal?
BB: What if your pink crusade is catching on?
GOTB: You think too highly of this blog.
BB: I’m just trying to give you credit. There’s been thousands of visitors here in the last few months. You never know how something might catch on.
(The blog doesn’t actually have this much ego. The blog is just playing along.)
GOTB: Listen, until someone can tell me why quarterbacks have green stickers on the back of their helmets, I’m boycotting this blog.
BB: You’re on strike?
GOTB: Yep.

(Long pause)

GOTB: You know why they have pink whistles, dummy? It’s breast cancer month.
BB: That was October.
GOTB: Did you Google it?
BB: No.
GOTB: Oh my gosh, you’re gonna’ write your stupid blog and it’s gonna’ be wrong. You’re such an idiot.

(GOTB Googles)

GOTB: Yep, that’s it. All Pac-10 refs for the last two weeks of October (not sure how the first week of November fits in) used pink whistles. Gaaawsh.

(More game watching and silence as I try to bait her in.)

GOTB: That guy looks like T-Pain.
BB: T-Pain?
GOTB: Yeah, the backup quarterback looks like that rapper, T-Pain, that just got arrested.
(The blog – a big DMX fan at one point – is shocked that a rapper was arrested.)
BB: Isn’t it Lil’ Wayne?
GOTB: Maybe. You want me to Google it?
BB: Yes.

(GOTB Googles)
GOTB: Yep, there’s photos. He just got arrested in Florida.
(For the record, both Lil’ Wayne and T-Pain have been arrested. For the record, part II, T-Pain is short for Tallahassee Pain. For the record, part III, the blog has officially lost touch with pop culture.)

(Some guy for West Virginia beats himself senseless with his own helmet.)

GOTB: He has blood on his helmet.
BB: Really?
GOTB: No. You honestly believed that? You’re so gullible.
BB: You always observe things I don’t notice during a game.
GOTB: I’m not doing your stupid blog tonight.

GOTB: That backup QB (alleged T-Pain look alike) is so little.
BB: T-Pain? Really?
GOTB: Maybe he does look like Lil’ Wayne.

(Some player with the last name “Dingle” appears on screen. We both laugh.)

BB: So are you still on strike?
GOTB: Mmm, hmmm.
BB: For how long? If we get this answer for you, do you promise to come back?
GOTB: Yep.

(Green stickers and quarterbacks? Anyone?)