Conveying an Unhealthy Obsession to the Masses
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Come on Washington, make me care again

Posted By: Nick, Off The Pond under Football  | August 28, 2008 

Washington, I’ve had it with you. This is the third consecutive year I’ve had to write this post lamenting the demise of this interstate rivalry. I’ve asked for you to get better. I’ve openly stated that I think you’re more fun when you win. You’re not going to find a lot of Duck fans willing to say that about you. I care, Washington. I really do, but all you do is continue to play really bad football. I don’t feel like you want my hate anymore. It’s like you’ve forsaken my need to loathe.

At the beginning of this decade, you could call our game something of a big deal.
Washington Losing Seasons

It had a guaranteed slot on ABC. Now, it’s slated for the dazzling telecast of Fox Sports in stunning low definition.  National media would call it one of the biggest rivalry games in the country. Did you know the game was played for more than a Northwest Championship trophy? Whoa, settle down, I’m not kidding. There was one year where you were #6 in the country when we played. Number 6! We beat you.

Now, I go onto your official website and you don’t even list your previous season’s results. Since when do the Huskies not care about tradition? All I wanted to know is if you have 6 wins since you reached that #6 ranking. Turns out you do, although it’s been five years since you last won more than three Pac-10 games in a season. Ouch.

I feel so indifferent these days. It’s like playing Stanford. It’s one of those weeks where you just kind of want to get your win and move on to something bigger. I’m excited to watch a game, but it just doesn’t feel all that special. I’ve even had to shelve my gameday routine. No more urine bag catapults. No more picking random fights with people wearing purple. No more swearing at 80 year old grandmas with the UDub across her chest. All that’s behind me. I’m not asking you to win on Saturday. I’m not even asking you to be competitive. A blowout would be fine.

Just promise me you’ll try and have a winning season, come back in 2009 and make me care again. Besides, I’m running out of room on your t-shirt. Even Photoshop has its limits. Good luck to you Huskies. Good luck.

5 Responses to Come on Washington, make me care again”

  1. Mark Mark says:

    Dude:

    Great slant and good write-up, except for the part of cussing out little old ladies and urine bag catapults. I am sure it was tongue in cheek, but some idiot will actually think that is a cool thing to do. WE DO NEED IDIOTS DUCK FANS!

  2. Rock Rock says:

    MARK GET A SENSE OF HUMOR, AND YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP ALL THE IDIOTS!

  3. Nick, Off The Pond Nick says:

    If anyone thinks I was being serious, they probably shouldn’t be reading this blog.

  4. Chris Chris says:

    The game will be broadcast in high-definition on FSN HD.

  5. Nick Nick says:

    If someone can tell me how to get Fox HD, that would be great. I don’t think Cox cable carries the channel, but that’s a whole other story to gripe about.

    As far as I can tell, I’m stuck on this one.

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