I haven’t missed her, but I know you did, so let’s welcome back the newly-named FOTB (WOTB still a work in progress). Stepping out of the normal Thursday night routine, we sat down and watched some Pac-10 dominance of the SEC (hey, OT wins are dominance when the winning team is without 96.3% of its starting lineup). Pretty much what follows is useless and a complete dressing down of my entire being, so enjoy.

FOTB: If Tennessee loses, we jump a spot, right?
OTP: What are they ranked?
FOTB: 18th. How do you not know that? You used to know stuff.
OTP: I know stuff.
FOTB: Not like you used to. In college, you knew everything.
OTP: I never knew the entire top 25 and the exact ranking of every team.
FOTB: Yes you did.
OTP: There’s no way.
FOTB: Look, the 18 has been next to their name the entire game. How could you not know that?
OTP: I just wasn’t paying attention to it.

FOTB: I think you need to do football camp training before the season starts.
OTP: That’s BS. I know plenty of stuff. I just didn’t know one team’s ranking.
FOTB: You don’t know anything.
OTP: I know plenty.

(We’ve tried doing an FOTB a couple times now and had some previous discussions that went nowhere)

FOTB: Earlier, you didn’t know if refs went to training camp.
OTP: I’m sure they have some sort of preseason training.
FOTB: But you didn’t know.
OTP: I know a lot of stuff, your questions are just ridiculous.
FOTB: I’ll ask you another and you won’t answer it.
OTP: What?
FOTB: I don’t have one yet.

(After a long pause, the blimp shot shows the Rose Bowl from above)

FOTB: What does our end zone say?
OTP: Pause…Oregon…pause…yeah, Oregon on both ends.
FOTB: hahaha.
OTP: I answered.
FOTB: Yeah, but you paused.
OTP: Only to make sure I got it right so you’d shut up.
FOTB: You should just know.
OTP: I did.

OTP: Whatever, we keep trying to do this blog and you’ve never given me any predictions or anything else.
FOTB: I told you our kicker was bad and needs to shave his porn ’stache. That was my analysis.

(Back to the game)

FOTB: What’s their mascot? I know it’s the Volunteers but what is the mascot?
OTP: I think it’s a hound dog or something like that. Actually, I really don’t know.
FOTB:Of course not, why would I ask you?

OTP: I thought I asked the questions for this.
FOTB: Hey, I just watch the game and have questions,
OTP: I’ll tell you what, Thursday night, you ask the questions, I’ll answer everything. You just prepare some questions.
FOTB: No, if I prepare, you’ll never get anything right. I’ll find the most obscure facts.
OTP: I’ll bring my A game.
FOTB: You have no A game.
OTP: It’s on.

Epilogue…about an hour later as I write this
OTP: Ooohho!! What is that motherf—–? (Yeah, that’s what I really said). http://smokeys-trail.com/TN/traditions.html

As I show my screen…

OTP: That’s a hound dog. I know my shit!
FOTB: (Smiles). You don’t know jack (she’s too busy watching One Tree Hill to care at this point).