This week’s rankings are sponsored by the Harris and Coaches’ polls. Select members of each agreed to give me fake answers to some pressing questions about the reasoning behind their votes. Upon review, I’m nervous that the people deciding on these matters may be a problem.
1. USC (2-1)
Les Miles, LSU head coach (Coaches):
“What choice do I have? The Trojans never have to play tough teams in conference play. They sure as hell wouldn’t ever lose to one of those Pac-10 patsies so, duh, I put them first.”
2. Cal (3-1)
Oklahoma Sooners coach Bob Stoops (Coaches):
“Are you serious? Trust me when I say that just because Oregon wins a game, it doesn’t mean they really won, ok? I’m operating under the assumption Cal won and am voting them here.”
3. Oregon (3-1)
Eugene Register-Guard columnist George Schroeder (Harris):
“I was a columnist in Oklahoma back when the Sooners visited Autzen Stadium and I have to admit, Bob has a point. Still, at least I voted with sanity.” That you did, George.
4. Washington (2-1)
Pete Dawkins, Heisman Trophy winner at Army in 1958 – that’s right, Army in 1958 (Harris):
“Did I see that Stanford beat Washington? Well, yes I did, but Don James is an incredible coach and the Huskies seem to always end up in a Rose or Orange Bowl so I still think they’re better.”
5. Stanford (2-1)
Harvey Schiller, CEO GlobalOptions Group and President of the International Baseball Federation (Harris):
If I may cut in for a moment, can you tell us what the hell you’re doing voting in a college football poll?
“Well, I was SEC Commissioner about 20 years ago.”
Yeah?
“That’s all.”
Wow, ok then, uh, what’s up with Stanford?
“Well, as someone who has very little to do with college football, I relate to Stanford fans, you know? I mean, I have no idea what they’ve done so far and couldn’t tell you if they won or lost, so I think I really get what that program is all about.”
6. Oregon State (2-1)
Former Oregon State player Steve Preece (Harris):
“The thing is, as a color commentator for Beaver broadcasts, I’m completely impartial. We always improve as the season goes on. We’re still really good. We’ll bounce back. We probably would beat Arizona a month from now. We should be higher than them. We are great. We.”
7. Arizona (2-1)
Charlie Weiss, Notre Dame head coach (Coaches):
“Of course I saw the game damn game – excuse me, darn.”
But coach, you had a game at the same time.
“So what? I popped the tape in when I got home, sat down with a bucket of KFC and a side of cheesecake and watched the whole thing. Oregon State is better. Plain and simple. Do you have any popcorn?”
8. Arizona State (2-1)
John Toner, former Connecticut athletic director (Harris):
“As best I can tell, I haven’t had anything to do with college athletics since 1987. That’s about the last time Arizona State played a Pac-10 game so we just didn’t have anything to go on yet when voting on the Sun Devils. Frankly, I don’t even know why I have a vote in this thing.”
9. UCLA (3-0)
DeWayne Walker, New Mexico State head coach (coaches):
“If UCLA thinks Rick Neuheisel is a better choice than me, so be it. I’m not bitter. You tell me UCLA is 3-0 and that’s great, but for all I know they’ll finish 3-9. God knows Rick’s team was terrible last year. Who’s to say it won’t happen again?”
10.Washington State (1-3)
Clarkston Hines, former Duke player (Harris):
“Listen, I played at Duke. I know a bad team when I see one. This was an easy vote that even we couldn’t mess up.”
Full list of voters: Coaches | Harris
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Nailed it!
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LOL….funny article. What is not funny is that the coaches get away with this. I could not believe my eyes when I saw the rankings!!!!! Taking all biases away, I would love any fans of a one loss team to put their resume against the Ducks. The ducks are by all “on the field” accounts, the best one loss team in america. Do I think they really are…..no….not yet, but close.
First, our loss is one of the best losses. less than 10 points to a highly ranked team on their home field. Ohio State lost to USC, but it was at home!
Second, we have 2 wins over the 16th and 6th ranked teams in the nation!!!! NO ONE has that in the entire country with one loss!!! NO ONE! and our worst win is against a much improved Purdue team that will be middle of the road in conference this year most likely. That same Purdue team would be the best team many of these schools have beat so far this year!
My challenge to the nation. Find me a one loss team that has a better resume than the ducks.
IT CAN NOT BE DONE!!!!!!
Ducks should be ranked 10-14th or so. If they win out through the USC game, top 5 for sure! Admittedly, a lot of “if” in that previous statement….lol
GO DUCKS!
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The AP poll has it right. We should be about 16th and we should be ranked higher than California. The other polls are stll punishing us for the BSU debacle.
Look, I’m a big Duck fan but let’s remember that we:
Stunk up the field on national tv against the Smurfs.
Barely beat Purdue which is now 1-3.
Beat Utah with our QB going 4-14.
16th is right about where we should be. Keep on winning and we move up. Keep playing like we did against Cal and we’ll be in the Top 10 soon enough. Screw up and we’ll be right back out of the rankings all together.
Each game is a season. Win one at a time. If we do that the rankings and bowls will take care of themselves.
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i find it interesting that oregon is behind cal, stanford is behind washington, and the beavers are ahead of arizona.. did they happen to watch any games this weekend??? the only ones i agree with are USC and WSU, i mean USC is a dynasty that hasnt been overthrown by anyone in the conference and who can argue for WSU?
Plus, huck the fuskies.. 4th? really?
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I have two questions for you and I ask them in the nicest possible way.
1. Did you read the post?
2. How good are you with sarcasm?
Now, if your comment was sarcasm, then touche, sir. You got me.
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yes i read the article thats why im confused.. these rankings dont make sense
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Did you see the Coaches or the Harris Polls?
They ranked Oregon behind Cal, Iowa behind Penn State and Houston behind Oklahoma State even though all three lower ranked teams beat the higher ranked team and have at least an equal record.
The voters aren’t making any sense based on the results so far and I was just mocking them by ranking all the winners in Pac-10 play behind teams they beat. The comments I added were a joke to lampoon the voters intelligence.
At this point, I think it’s safe to say the joke is dead.
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oh haha my bad then.. i thought these rankings were from the coaches or harris poll.. sounded pretty reasonable based on what the polls are lookin like right now
that ones on me
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I think that we can concur: Those rankings were RANK.
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yea time to move on to the next joke
which is next weeks rankings.
got to play first though.
GO!!!!! DUCKS!!!!!
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My man Steve might be a good reason for me to revisit the comments column – this is a whole new kind of entertainment.
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