Football…and Weddings? Tsk. Tsk.

I’ve long maintained a firm, immovable stance on the subject of football and weddings. It’s simple, really. Don’t wed when you can watch.

But, alas, I have no control over the minds of others and with that said, Saturday, my attention will be on the marriage of the betrothed instead of the oddly robed.

For this, blame San Diego. College football is to this city what a democrat is to Utah. It doesn’t exist and it certainly doesn’t register as the ever-important consideration that it should in such a matter. “Fall wedding on a Saturday? Perfect! No one will mind!”

See, a place like Alabama has it figured out. In the book, Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer: A Road Trip into the Heart of Fan Mania, author Warren St. John documents two parents who explained their devotion in a TV interview:

The reporter probes the couple’s devotion to Alabama football, and they say they haven’t missed a game in fifteen years. So the reporter idly asks what sort of things they’ve given up in pursuit of the Tide.

Let’s see, the man says in a soft Southern drawl. We missed our daughter’s wedding.

You what?

We told her, just don’t get married on a game day and we’ll be there, hundred percent, and she went off and picked the third Saturday in October which everybody knows is when Alabama plays Tennessee, so we told her, hey, we got a ball game to go to. We made the reception – went there as soon as the game was over.

Such devotion is probably met with disbelief, but I say, good for you obsessed Alabama couple! We need more like ya’.

Take me for example.

This blog’s got a wedding date of its own. July 31, 2010. Find me a conflict with that. World Cup soccer? NBA? Over with. Football preseason camp? Not started. Baseball? Get back to me in September. It’s completely sports neutral.

Okay, sure, the goal was always a summer wedding, but had it been different, I would have taken a stand. Well, that’s what I tell myself and that’s all that matters.

Go ahead and shed a tear for me this weekend. It’s a tragedy that permeates our society, but maybe with a little public awareness, it will be the last.

After all, while you’re experiencing the roar of the crowd following a Masoli fake, I’ll be calmly asking for a piece of wedding cake.

And that’s just not right.

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10 Responses to Football…and Weddings? Tsk. Tsk.

  1. Avatar of Cheryl
    TheFitPit November 11, 2009 at 9:48 am #

    Have some wedding cake for us. Stacheman is going to miss texting his joy, anguish, disgust and GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Avatar of nautiduck
    Nautiduck November 11, 2009 at 7:45 pm #

    Are you kidding me? Dude, you are whipped. :-)

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    • Nick, Off The Pond November 11, 2009 at 8:05 pm #

      Hey, I did my part in life by not scheduling a fall wedding. It’s the other 7 billion people I have to worry about.

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  3. Jfwells November 12, 2009 at 8:15 pm #

    Congrats on the wedding. That day will be my 11th anniversary.

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    • Nick, Off The Pond November 13, 2009 at 1:58 am #

      Thanks. Always nice to know another has done the world a favor and not married during football.

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  4. Avatar of nautiduck
    Nautiduck November 13, 2009 at 8:18 am #

    OK, I have to ask. How can these unthinking people even be your friends? :-) Learn from this young Jedi Duck.

    Oh well, at least it’s not a situation where the Ducks are heading down the homestretch with control over their own destiny and the Rose Bowl on the line. Huh? Oh, never mind…….

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    • Nick, Off The Pond November 14, 2009 at 11:31 am #

      I look at it this way. Through the magic of DVR, the Oregon Ducks and Arizona State Sun Devils face off in an unusual game with a midnight start time. And just in case something screwy happens, it will be recording on two DVRs. I can’t lose.

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  5. Jessica November 24, 2009 at 8:35 pm #

    Well, technically, July 31 is during marching band preseason (it’s a sport, seriously.)

    But good on you! Stand up for what you believe in (:

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    • Jul November 24, 2009 at 10:34 pm #

      Band geeks unite!

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      • Nick, Off The Pond November 24, 2009 at 11:06 pm #

        What in the world just happened here? It’s a marching band revolution! Hey, I tried the trombone in middle school. I was not long for the instrumental world. And believe me, it rejoiced when I left.

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