Bowl PreNicktions v3.0

Bowl PreNicktions went on a one-year hiatus in 2008, but they’re back and I think I’m in line for my first ever 34 for 34 performance.

PreNicktion: Best guess at who will win.
Wisdometer:* A scale of 1 to 10 indicating how much I know about the game.
Record Guesser: My best guess at the actual record of a team (first record is the guess, second record is the actual). For those of you scoring at home, I guessed correctly on 45 of 68 teams, a 66.2% success rate.

*The Wisdometer continues to have no affiliation with the Whizzenator which at this point is just an outdated pop-culture reference.

New Mexico Bowl, Dec. 19, 1:30 pm, Albuquerque, ESPN

Fresno State vs. Wyoming.
And we’re off. Um, but it’s okay if I don’t watch right? Just because it’s the first bowl game doesn’t mean I’m obligated to sit down and spend three hours on it.

PreNicktion: Fresno State
Wisdometer: 1.5
Record Guesser: Fresno State (7-5, 6-6), Wyoming (7-5, 8-4)

St. Petersburg Bowl, Dec. 19, 5:00 pm, St. Petersburg, ESPN

Central Florida vs. Rutgers
I promise. We just have to get through the first, oh, 30 games or so and this will get more entertaining. It’s not my fault these bowl games exist, but dammit, I’m going to preNickt them anyway.

PreNicktion: Rutgers (It’s an old PreNicktion rule, 3.6.7 I believe, that you always pick against the directional school)
Wisdometer: 0.00 (Seriously, no idea)
Record guesser: Central Florida (7-5, 8-4), Rutgers (7-5, 8-4).

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Dec. 20, 5:30 pm, New Orleans, ESPN

Southern Miss vs. Middle Tennessee
I hate it when two directional schools play each other. But still, the PreNicktion handbook will tell you that middle is less of a direction than Southern, so you always go with middle.

PreNicktion: Middle Tennessee
Wisdometer: 0.0 (yikes, two in a row. I’m clueless)
Record Guesser: Southern Miss (6-6, 7-5), Middle Tennessee (7-5, 9-3)

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl, Dec. 22, 5:00 pm, Las Vegas, ESPN

Oregon State vs. BYU
I used to have a theory that you always bet on a team full of Mormons in a game played in Las Vegas because they can’t get into any trouble before the game. But they’re only 2-2 in four straight Las Vegas Bowl appearances, so that doesn’t really apply.

PreNicktion: Oregon State
Wisdometer: 8.6
Record Guesser: Oregon State (8-4, 8-4), BYU (10-2, 10-2)

San Diego County CU Poinsettia Bowl, Dec. 23, 5 pm, San Diego, ESPN

Utah vs. California
I just opened an account at a San Diego credit union. It was not this one. While that’s not relevant, at least I put off talking about the fact that Bears are the new Cougars. You know, usually when a team blows a game, you say, “boy, they sure Coug’d it!” The Cal Bears, though, are making a push to own the phrase. As in, “Hey, Cal was a top ten team, but they Bear’d it!” Eh, doesn’t have the same ring does it?

PreNicktion: California (all that and you pick Cal? Remember, I’m a Pac-10 homer)
Wisdometer: 9.0
Record Guesser: Utah (9-3, 9-3), California (8-4, 8-4)

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, Dec. 24, 5 pm, Honolulu, ESPN

Nevada vs. SMU
Easiest pick ever. Would you pick the one and only team that lost to Washington State to win a bowl game? I didn’t think so.

PreNicktion: Nevada
Wisdometer: 3.2
Record Guesser: Nevada (8-4, 8-4), SMU (7-5, 7-5)

Little Caesars Bowl, Dec. 26, 10:00 am, Detroit, ESPN

Marshall vs. Ohio
We Are Mar…. uh, irrelevant?

PreNicktion: Ohio, I guess
Wisdometer: .1
Record Guesser: Marshall (6-6, 6-6), Ohio (7-5, 9-4)

Meineke Car Care Bowl, Dec. 26, 1:30 pm, Charlotte, ESPN

Pittsburgh vs. North Carolina
I recently started a therapy group called “We were thiiiiiiiiis close to playing in the BCS.” So far, only Pittsburgh and Oregon State have joined, but we’re making real progress.

PreNicktion: North Carolina
Wisdometer: 7.5
Record Guesser: Pittsburgh (9-3, 9-3), North Carolina (8-4, 8-4)

Emerald Bowl, Dec. 26, 5 pm, San Francisco, ESPN

Boston College vs. USC
Hahahaha. Oh, God, it’s funny. I mean, USC is playing a bowl game on December 26 in a baseball stadium. Aaah. It’s funny, right?

PreNicktion: USC (Yeah, it’s funny, but come on, they’re still going to win)
Wisdometer: 7.9
Record Guesser: Boston College (8-4, 8-4), USC (8-4, 8-4)

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, Dec. 27, 5:30 pm, Nashville, ESPN

Kentucky vs. Clemson
Let’s see, I was 25 when I first started doing this Bowl PreNicktion and I didn’t have the maturity to not laugh at the name of this bowl. Fast forward three years and, nope, still not there. It’s still funny.

PreNicktion: Clemson, but they have a tendency to lose anything that matters. They’re like the ACC’s Cal.
Wisdometer: 6.6
Record Guesser: Kentucky (7-5, 7-5), Clemson (8-4, 8-5)

Advocare V100 Independence Bowl, Dec. 28, 2:00 pm, Shreveport, ESPN2

Texas A&M vs. Georgia
Any Oregon fan should have a special place in their football memory for the Independence Bowl so no bashing here. In fact, it looks like a pretty good game just on name brand recognition.

PreNicktion: Georgia
Wisdometer: 6.9
Record Guesser: Texas A&M (7-5, 6-6), Georgia (8-4, 7-5)

EagleBank Bowl, Dec. 29, 1:30 pm, Washington D.C., ESPN

UCLA vs. Temple
No offense to Rick Neuheisel, but if you’re spending a Saturday watching Army-Navy with a vested interest in who wins, your program is about as irrelevant as it gets. Somebody wake me when UCLA ends USC’s dynasty.

PreNicktion: UCLA (one for the trophy mantle in Westwood)
Wisdometer: 4.8
Record Guesser: UCLA (6-6, 6-6), Temple (9-3, 9-3)

Champs Sports Bowl, Dec. 29, 5:00 pm, Orlando, ESPN

Miami vs. Wisconsin
Just watched the 30 for 30 presentation of The U on ESPN. That was perhaps the best two hours of sports filmmaking ever. I won’t even describe it. Just make sure you watch it.

PreNicktion: Miami (let’s see that swagger again)
Wisdometer: 6.0
Record Guesser: Miami (9-3, 9-3), Wisconsin (10-3, 9-3)

Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl, Dec. 30, 1:30 pm, Boise, ESPN

Bowling Green vs. Idaho
Can we all agree that blue turf is the dumbest thing going in college football? It’s dumber than the BCS. For that reason alone, Boise State deserves to get shunned. The only thing that could make this game worse is the fact they are playing it on blue turf.

PreNicktion: Idaho
Wisdometer: 2.2
Record Guesser: Bowling Green (7-5, 7-5), Idaho (7-5, 7-5)

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, Dec. 30 5:00 pm, San Diego, ESPN

Arizona vs. Nebraska
This just in. Nebraska and Arizona have joined my “We were thiiiiiiiiis close to playing in the BCS” therapy group. It’s not going well. Nebraska keeps trying to make Colt McCoy’s pass last one more second, Pittsburgh and Arizona keep arguing about extra point holds and Oregon State is already trying to figure out what bowl they go to instead of the Rose in 2010 when they lose the Civil War.

PreNicktion: Arizona
Wisdometer: 8.4
Record Guesser: Arizona (8-4, 8-4), Nebraska (9-4, 9-4)

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, Dec. 31, 9:00 am, Fort Worth, ESPN

Houston vs. Air Force
Has Houston’s quarterback had his arm fall off yet? Can you gamble on the over/under of number of passes he throws? I would not take anything under 75.

PreNicktion: Houston
Wisdometer: 3.0
Record Guesser: Houston (9-3, 10-3), Air Force (7-5, 7-5)

Brut Sun Bowl, Dec. 31, 11:00 am, El Paso, CBS

Oklahoma vs. Stanford
Let’s go back to September 5, 2009. Oklahoma lost to BYU and admit it, you felt a slight twinge of happiness because after all, misery loves company. Fast forward to the present and Oregon ultimately remedied itself, but just remember that the Sooners were there for you in a time of need.

PreNicktion: Oklahoma (as much as I’ve loved Stanford this year, I don’t trust them, especially without Andrew Luck)
Record Guesser: Oklahoma (7-5, 7-5), Stanford (8-4, 8-4)

Texas Bowl, Dec. 31, 12:30 pm, Houston, ESPN

Navy vs. Missouri
It still bothers me, the arrogance of Texas to have a bowl game without a sponsor. We get it, you’re Texas, you’re awesome, you could be your own country, but for the love of God, someone call Flomax and get this game a sponsor.

PreNicktion: Navy
Wisdometer: 5.6
Record Guesser: Navy (8-4, 9-4), Missouri (7-5, 8-4)

NFL Network Insight Bowl, Dec. 31, 3:00 pm, Tempe, NFL Network

Minnesota vs. Iowa State
I thought Minnesota lost every game this year. Literally, I thought they went 0-12. And Iowa State? They’re bowl eligible?

PreNicktion: Iowa State, because by the NCAA rule, someone has to win
Wisdometer: 6.9
Record Guesser: Minnesota (6-6, 6-6), Iowa State (6-6, 6-6)

Chick-Fil-A Bowl, Dec. 31, 4:30 pm, Atlanta, ESPN

Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee
Whoops, couldn’t even get a sentence out and Lane Kiffin just committed another NCAA violation. Nothing a few hostesses can’t clean up.

PreNicktion: Tennessee
Wisdometer: 4.3
Record Guesser: Virginia Tech (8-4, 9-3), Tennessee (7-5, 7-5)

Outback Bowl, Jan. 1, 8:00 am, Tampa, ESPN

Northwestern vs. Auburn
Ridiculous. Northwestern is this year’s “team playing on January 1st that makes you cringe at the Pac-10′s bowl agreements.” And, actually, Auburn fits that bill as well. Mediocrity, thy name is the Outback Bowl.

PreNicktion: Auburn, because the PreNicktion handbook always bets against the Big Ten in a pinch
Wisdometer: 3.9
Record Guesser: Northwestern (8-4, 8-4), Auburn (7-5, 7-5)

Capital One Bowl, Jan. 1, 10:00 am, Orlando, ABC

Penn State vs. LSU
They just renamed this the, “We Can’t Beat Anybody Ranked So We’ll Just Play Each Other” Bowl. Both Penn State and LSU each played two teams ranked in the final BCS top 25. They both went 0-2. Ah, to schedule the cupcakes.

PreNicktion: LSU with PreNicktion handbook in full effect
Wisdometer: 8.2
Record Guesser: Penn State (10-2, 10-2), LSU (9-3, 9-3)

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl, Jan. 1, 10:00 am, Jacksonville, CBS

West Virginia vs. Florida State
There are some upset teams right now that the Seminoles got this bowl game after going 6-6. But who cares. Bobby Bowden deserves a proper send-off and I’ve always liked his team.

PreNicktion: Florida State (I’m a sucker for Bobby Bowden)
Wisdometer: 7.3
Record Guesser: West Virginia (9-3, 9-3), Florida State (6-6, 6-6)

Rose Bowl Game Presented By Citi, Jan. 1, 1:30 pm, Pasadena, ABC

Ohio State vs. Oregon
I like everything about this part of the bowl PreNicktions. I like reading the words Rose Bowl, Pasadena, Ohio State vs. Oregon, Jan. 1 and most importantly, the PreNicktion…

PreNicktion: Oregon
Wisdometer: 9.7
Record Guesser: Ohio State (10-2, 10-2), Oregon (10-2, 10-2)

AllState Sugar Bowl, Jan. 1, 5:30 pm, New Orleans, Fox

Florida vs. Cincinnati
Let us pray. Dear Tim Tebow, thank you for blessing us all with four years of you. ESPN will never be the same. We are all better people for having spent just 5 minutes near you. In your name, amen. Oh, P.S. Tebow, be sure to thank Dennis Dixon’s ACL when you get to the league. After all, that’s the only reason you have a Heisman Trophy.

PreNicktion: Florida
Wisdometer: 9.5
Record Guesser: Florida (12-1, 12-1), Cincinnati (12-0, 12-0)

International Bowl, Jan. 2, 9am, Toronto, ESPN2

South Florida vs. Northern Illinois
Ugh, it’s not even worth griping about. ESPN makes money, so these bowls exist. You don’t have to watch it. I can promise you, I’ll be enjoying celebratory sleep at game time.

PreNicktion: South Florida
Wisdometer: 0.5
Record Guesser: South Florida (8-4, 7-5), Northern Illinois (7-5, 7-5)

Papajohns.com Bowl, Jan. 2, 11:00 am, Birmingham, ESPN

South Carolina vs. UConn
If you don’t root for UConn, then you are a soulless creature. That team has been through a lot this year.

PreNicktion: UConn
Wisdometer: 3.8
Record Guesser: South Carolina (7-5, 7-5), UConn (7-5, 7-5)

AT&T Cotton Bowl, Jan. 2, 11:00 am, Arlington, Fox

Oklahoma State vs. Mississippi
They should really let me rename these bowls. The AT&T Underachieving Bowl would make so much more sense.

PreNicktion: Oklahoma State
Wisdometer: 6.7
Record Guesser: Oklahoma State (9-3, 9-3), Mississippi (9-3, 8-4)

AutoZone Liberty Bowl, Jan. 2, 2:30 pm, Memphis, ESPN

Arkansas vs. East Carolina
Ooh, my theory on directional schools is being put to the test. The Pirates are a good choice here. Nah, you don’t go against the handbook.

PreNicktion: Arkansas
Wisdometer: 5.0
Record Guesser: Arkansas (7-5, 7-4), East Carolina (8-4, 9-4)

Valero Alamo Bowl, Jan. 2, 6:00 pm, San Antonio, ESPN

Michigan State vs. Texas Tech
Hey, the Pac-10 gets this game next year. Why, that means they’ll have two games on January 1 or later. Aren’t we just getting all big time.

PreNicktion: Texas Tech
Wisdometer: 2.7
Record Guesser: Michigan State (8-4, 6-6), Texas Tech (8-4, 8-4)

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, Jan. 4, 5:00 pm, Glendale, Fox

Boise State vs. TCU
BCS Bowl Rep: Okay, TCU and Boise, you’re in. You’ll play each other. It’ll be great. Welcome to the BCS!
Boise and TCU: You’re kidding, right? You’re just slapping lipstick on the Poinsettia Bowl.
BCS Bowl Rep, smiling and patting the two teams on the back: You’re welcome fellas. We’re all mighty happy to have ya’!
Boise, TCU and everyone else: F— you, BCS. F— you!

PreNicktion: TCU
Wisdometer: 8.9
Record Guesser: Boise State (12-0, 13-0), TCU (12-0, 12-0)

FedEx Orange Bowl, Jan. 5, 5:00 pm, Miami, Fox

Iowa vs. Georgia Tech
Oh, the Orange Bowl, that’s right! Almost forgot. Wait, why did I remember? Going to try and forget again.

PreNicktion: Georgia Tech (again, don’t pick the Big Televen)
Wisdometer: 7.8
Record Guesser: Iowa (10-2, 10-2), Georgia Tech (10-2, 11-2)

GMAC Bowl, Jan. 6, 4:00 pm, Mobile, ESPN

Central Michigan vs. Troy
If GMAC is too big to fail according to the government, then what about the bowl game? Too small to notice? If this game fails to meet ratings and attendance expectations, is there a bailout?

PreNicktion: Central Michigan
Wisdometer: 2.7
Record Guesser: Central Michigan (10-2, 11-2), Troy (9-3, 9-3)

Citi BCS National Championship Game, Jan. 7, 5:00 pm, Pasadena, ABC

Texas vs. Alabama
Texas, you’re a sham. You played a total of two ranked teams and only one of those was in the regular season. You will get beat, handily. Mack Brown, I find you to be obnoxious and arrogant and I really hope you get whacked. Mark Ingram, thanks for your humble and gracious Heisman acceptance speech. You still stole it from Toby Gerhart, but way to keep it classy.

PreNicktion: Alabama
Wisdometer: 9.6
Record Guesser: Texas (13-0, 13-0), Alabama (13-0, 13-0)