We Didn’t Want Him Anyway, or “How I’m Coping with the Demise of a Potential National Championship Season”
Welcome to the official, “we didn’t want him anyway” post. Jeremiah Masoli to be charged in the infamous theft case? Eh, didn’t want him in the first place. LaMichael James changing his plea? Psh, not like he was the best back we ever recruited.
Right? Who’s with me? Still need some convincing? Just check out these side by side comparisons based on actual facts. Click on the projected stats link for Seastrunk. It’s mind-boggling how good he is going to be (and one has to wonder how long before ESPN sends a team of lawyers to my door step).
| Super-duper Fabulous Sophomore Standout-to-be Quarterback Darron Thomas | Short, Streaky, Fumble-prone, Junior College Transfer Jeremiah Masoli |
| 2010 Scout.com 15th best, 4 **** QB | 2008 Scout.com unrated 1 * JC transfer QB |
| Can throw for over 200 yards and 3 TDs in one quarter! | Completes 4 passes for 95 yards with 0 TDs and 1 INT in an entire game! |
| 6′ -3″ Imposing Prototype QB | 5′-11″ Runt Fullback playing QB |
| 140.64 career passer rating | 129.46 career passer rating |
| First 2008 QB recruited by the Ducks | Afterthought signee in May 2008 |
| Dynamic, Highlight-making, True Freshman Sensation-to-be RB Lache Seastrunk | Still Awesome, But Likely to be Suspended For a Few Games So Let’s Rationalize This Anyway, LaMichael James |
| 2010 Scout.com 4th best, 5 ***** RB | 2008 Scout.com 40th best, 3*** RB |
| Will step in and compete right away | Had to take a year and redshirt |
| Recruited by the likes of Florida, LSU and Texas | Recruit list included Baylor, Houston and Mississippi State |
| Off The Pond projected 2010 freshman stats based on state-of-the-art video and mathematical anlaysis: 4,508 yards rushing, 1,647 yards receiving, 59 total TDs | 2009 Stats: By comparison, a pedestrian 1,546 yards rushing, 168 yards receiving and 14 total TDs |
I think we can all agree that Oregon is in fine shape for the 2010 season and, in fact, may have just improved their standing with the criminal charges being brought against these supposed “superstars.”
Hilarious.
In a, “I’m crying while I’m laughing” kind of way.
Can’t we all just get along? we still love our DUCKS!!!! Don’t we?
I’m with Pedro.
I feel suckerpunched today.
(just sitting back, watching, and smiling)
I literally Laughed Out Loud the entire time I read this post and didn’t think that was possible considering the days events. Thanks Nick – well done sir, well done.
When are you guys going to realize that Masoli and James did nothing and were not arrested. This is just a plot by the BEAVERS.
Thanks for the laughs. No question today’s 1-2 sucker punch left many fans Blounted and crying Byron! After a quarter full of divertible DUIs, psycho-foolery on facebook, perhaps well-deserved (but still illegal) abuse of stalker, drunken defense of kicker, an infocus sprint that allegedly ended in a recall, and now the news… while SAEs allegedly chose wisely who to chase and supposedly caught the near-Olympic speed WR with a projector snug under his arm that didn’t belong to him (yeah right!), they couldn’t catch the 5′10″ (he’s not 5′11″) QB who allegedly had a Mac Book Pro under each arm and a guitar strapped to his back… that rumor says he used for the cover charge to get into Taylor’s where he made a point of saying hi to the camera… which some say is time synced 15 minutes slow…. meaning… he had time to trade them for… come on you know what it is… you know what it is… don’t deny it Eugene… come on Oregon… what’s the Northwesty goodness?
Yeah. None of that happened.
Everything is so sensational… so Seastrunked! Like you don’t think Dontae Williams will rip holes through lines everywhere… like he’s not the black Toby. Come on now! New Mexico should be scared… VERY SCARED! These Ducks are going to unleash the frustration of a long off-season of being made fun of… and I AM GOING TO BE THERE. GO DUCKS!!!
“Potential National Championship”? You delusional duck fans are always good value. Didn’t Ohio State put those fantasies to rest by showing how far you are from even getting a whiff of a national title?
Potential…ha! Ya, and I have the potential to fly if I flap my arms hard enough.
So starting in the top 5 of the polls means nothing? Anytime you start that high, the goal is going to be a national title. It’s not delusional and it was a perfectly reasonable hope. Long shot? Pretty much is every year with only two teams getting a shot, but potential is the right word.
If you honestly think you would have started in the top 5, then yes, potential would be a adequate term. I think barely cracking the Top 10 would have been generous considered the lack of receiving depth and rebuilt D line. I just think it’s funny how often “National Championship” is uttered from the duck fan base. Like “If Dixon wouldn’t have gone down in 2007 we could’ve won the national championship.”
Coulda, woulda, shoulda. If LMJ and Masoli are suspended and it results in a few losses, then I have no doubt that we’ll be forced to hear the collective “Well, if Masoli and James hadn’t been…we could have won a national title” from the duck fan base.
Well, “could have won” is a factual statement. Can’t prove otherwise. Probably a little sour and at times nauseating to hear but show me a fan base that doesn’t feel the pain of a dream season being derailed.
As for being a potential top 5 team, it’s hard to find anyone not putting Oregon there. This link is all you need:
Compilation of nine 2010 preseason polls
Out of the 9 preseason polls, Oregon would rank 4th if you put them all together. Only two of them have Oregon lower than 5.
That’s what I’m basing that theory on. You don’t have to agree with it, obviously, but it was/is a perfectly reasonable expectation.
True. It can’t be proven otherwise, but there is no reason to whine about lost opportunities as some fans continue to do. Not saying that you are at all, however. Anyways, I enjoyed your article. I know that if, say, the Rodgers Brothers were due to appear in court over felony charges I would be sh**ing my pants. It’s nice that you are taking a humorous approach to the situation. Either way I still think the ducks will have a great shot at another Rose Bowl run with the returning cast, including (worst case scenerio) Thomas and Seastrunk in place of Masoli and James. It will be an interesting 2010.
LOVE the UW and OSU scores in Lache’s “stats”. Nice!
I still think that Friday is going to turn out a LOT different than most folks are thinking. Let’s sit back, watch and enjoy the ‘magic.’
Hey if you call them thugs, what do you call the one in the middle? Oh, and be careful, loving yourself too much can lead to prescription eyewear…so I,m told.
ilovemythugs sounds like a beaver fan who is a little bitter about getting their rose bowl taken away two years in a row by the same team..
Trust me. I’ve whined and cried plenty over 2007. My dad (a Beaver) has tried to tell me OSU still could have beat us If Dennis…oh crap, see, I’m doing it again. Can’t help it. It’s like breathing to me.
Your Dad is a wise man. haha. I’ve had the same argument with my soon-to-be- father-in-law (a duck), who swears that if Dixon had not gone down the ducks would have won easily. He may be right, he may not. That’s the joy of college football. He dismisses the fact that the Beavs were without their starting tailback (Bernard), and the rarely used backup ran for 150 yards. There’s always going to be injuries, and back-ups just need to step up. I was glad that both teams were relatively healthy (at the skill positions at least) in last year’s Civil War. Though the outcome stung, it was a great game. Hopefully we can look forward to another epic one in 2010.