It’s been tough going at the top of college football and Oregon is apparently next up on ESPN’s upset alert (brought to you by Geico or Southwest or…does it really matter?).
USC quarterback Matt Barkley believes it and wasted no time calling his shot on Twitter (since removed and this post updated).
(1) Barkley is still a minor and is illegally consuming adult beverages.
(2) He’s probably drinking and watching UFC with Lane Kiffin. I’m guessing the conversation went like this:
Kiffin: Dude, this Zima rocks. Thought it was discontinued. How’d you score it?
Barkley: Huh? I’m Matt Barkley. I can get whatever I want.
Kiffin: Totally. You’re so money, bro. You know what we should do?
Barkley: Don’t say it, I already know.
(Barkley grabs bottle of Peach Schnapps.)
Barkley: F’n’ shots, bro!
Barkley: Mom said I shouldn’t swear.
Kiffin: I’m so wasted! Hey, you got Twitter on that iPhone?
Barkley: Yeah why?
Kiffin: You should tweet something about Oregon.
Barkley: Why me?
Kiffin: Hey, I’m the responsible one. Whoa, did you see that?! Lesnar just got his teeth kicked in!
Barkley: Oh, snap! That was tight, bro! Dude, I’m totally gonna’ do it.
Hellz yeah, check what I wrote!
(An hour passes)
Barkley’s mom: Matthew! Are you on the Twitters again!?
Barkley: Oh no. No-no-no-no-no-no! Dude, hide the schnapp’s! Hide it!
Barkley’s mom: Open the door Matthew or so help me God!
(Delete’s Tweet, Opens Door)
Barkley’s mom: What’s going on in here? Lane? Does Monte know you’re here?
Kiffin: Hi, Mrs. Barkley. Dad went to bed a long time ago. I’m just watchin’ some TV with Matt. We’re cool.
Barkley: Alright you two. I don’t want to find out about any funny business, you hear?
Kiffin/Barkley: Yes ma’am.
Obligatory note brought to you by Chip Kelly: Oregon doesn’t prepare according to outside influences and could care less what Barkley says.