It’s not mail, it’s visitor searches. Google, Yahoo, Bing… they all come from somewhere.

• chip kelly is a gentleman (Google Search in Eugene, OR)

And you, sir, are a scholar.

• chip kelly cursing (Google Search in Leawood, KS)

Oh shit, you’re right! He does. But he does it in the kind of way a gentleman would do it.

• what’s wrong with duck sports news (Google Search in New York, New York)

Poor guys have had major problems with their server. In the meantime, follow them on Facebook and Twitter.

• oregon washington state football game blackout (Google Search in Corvallis, OR)

The Stanford “blackout” was less ambiguous than this one. One day, the game’s not on live TV, the next, it is, then it isn’t and now finally, it’s on.

If you’re – waaaaaait for it - Off The Pond in a far away land (the blog’ll be in Ambler, PA) on game day, OZone will not have the game until later that night in a condensed on-demand package.

MIND-BLOWING SPOILER ALERT: I’ll let you in on a little secret if you’re worried about missing the game. Oregon already won. Time just hasn’t caught up to the result yet.

• huge smiley face (AOL Search in Kearney, NE)

Is this huge enough for you?

• “chip kelly wedding oregon”, “chip kelly wedding”, “chip kelly nude”  (Google Search in Seattle, WA/Hattiesburg, MS/Los Angeles, CA)

Mo’ money, mo’ problems right? These golddiggers are all up in yo’ bizness, Chip.

Chip Kelly, nude? Seriously, Los Angeles Googler?

• podcast site:http://www.offthepond.net/ (Google Search in Seattle, WA)

Hmmm… Hmmm… No. That’s a terrible idea. Hmmm…

• oregon duck blogs (Google Search in Portland, OR)

Hey, you found one! But why are you searching in the plural? I’m offended that you’re looking for more than just me.

• oregon duck football blog (Google Search in Portland, OR)

Ok, that’s better.

• autzen stadium before and after photos (Google Search in Woodburn, OR)

Psh, you can totally tell she’s had work done. Nobody cared before and now look. Everyone’s into her.

• wall street oregon ducks (Google Search in Eugene, OR)

Like Gordon Gekko said, “green is good.” Or maybe it was “greed is good.” I guess we have a bit of both. After all, who wants the Rose Bowl when you can have Glendale, AZ.

Not without some serious extortion, the bastards. But the game’s on now and it’s free of charge.

I guess all’s well that ends well.

It’s not mail, it’s visitor searches. Google, Yahoo, Bing… they all come from somewhere.

• sports: once is luck but twice (Google Search in Newell, NC)

Yes? Were you going to finish that or just leave us hanging? Oh, I see! You’re absolutely right. Once was Luck, but again this year? I don’t think so.

• who is the person to talk to at u of oregon to rent stadium
  (AOL Search in Los Angeles, CA)

What did you have in mind? Big concert? Birthday bash? We already covered weddings. When trying to rent a university’s football stadium, it’s always a good idea to start with the athletic department.

• oregon vs stanford black out (Bing Search in Eugene, OR)

No, you’re confused. It’s a yellowout. Or is it a blackout? Yellowout? Anyone? Help.

Look, I appreciate the spirit of uniformity, but it’s not going to happen. This has been tried for years and it NEVER WORKS. Why? because the athletic department doesn’t get involved and hand out 55,000 t-shirts. Let’s face it. Duck fans are full of individuals that want to wear whatever the hell they want. Good luck changing that.

• scoreboard, baby (Google Search in Seattle, WA)

Neuheisel? Is that you? Feelin’ good after a couple wins, huh?

• 

  Not to be trifled with.

  nature battle: duck vs beaver (Google Search in Corvallis, OR)

Interesting hypothetical. Or do you think nature occasionally pits a duck vs. a beaver? A beaver’s ground attack is going to be solid. It’s going to be able to dam up some waterways, creating a nice tranquil pond for a duck to laze about in. That’s when the beaver can come up from underneath and strike. But seriously, what’a couple buck teeth and big tail compared to wings? Ducks can dive bomb the shit out of a beaver all day. No contest.

• picks to win oregon ducks football stanford (Google Search in Salem, OR)

Oregon. Next search, please.

• who will win ducks arizona football (Google Search in Portland, OR)

Oregon. Next search, please!

• stanford tree declares war on duck (Google Search in Roseburg, OR)

The Tree was quoted in SI saying “I’ve taken on way worse than him in my travels and wanderings. If he happens to throw some punches, that might just make my day.”

Seriously? You’re a band mascot! The school doesn’t even have one. You should know the Duck takes a backseat to no mascot. Do I  really need to post the Houston Cougar beatdown again?

• oregon state beavers pic nude (Google Search in Meridian, ID)

You type the word “nude” one time on the blog and this is what happens. If you want to find pictures of Sara Underwood, Google is your friend. Wait, you already tried that. What the hell are you doing here? Wrong blog!

• how jon wilner voted (Google Search in Madison, WI)

Like a giant pile of elephant excrement…or whatever animal produces the largest amount of waste. According to Yahoo Answers, it’s the elephant on land, humpback whale by sea. Jon Wilner’s voting is both combined.

• you misguided beaver (Google Search in Athens, GA)

No, no, no, no. I was raised in a Beaver family, yes. But I’m all Duck! I guess in that sense you could call me a misguided Beaver, but I’ve never swung that way. I prefer to think of myself as self-enlightened.

• Let’s start it off with the Muchas G and Lord Beverage Podcast. Press play and then start clicking the rest of these links. My bad on not getting a link to these guys sooner. It’s a smooth, well done Podcast.
• Don’t get me wrong, our offensive linemen will kick your ass. They won’t even feel bad about it. They’ll just whoop ya’ and laugh about it. Buuuut, Mark Asper can sing any Disney song, treats his mom right, goes to church and is generally just a pure gentleman. But seriously Stanford, he will destroy you.
• Attending Duck fans, I don’t care if you wear yellow or black, just be loud.
• Timeout from links. No one is saying anything bad about Stanford at all. Nothing. Just pure positivity. But not me. Stanford, you’re slow. You lack elite athleticism at the second level on defense (don’t get all impressed, I stole that from Scouts Inc.). Whoever you have at running back isn’t Toby Gerhart. Andrew Luck is going to hear Autzen at its loudest and discover he has bladder control problems. For eff sake, you are Stanford!!! Remember that.
• Oookay…links. John Boyett works hard. I hope that means he and the other defensive backs can find a way to cover the middle of the field this week.
• What’s a big game without a uniform discussion? Chip Kelly discusses uniform philosophy in an SI.com video.
• Everyone says there’s some sort of blueprint for beating Oregon (ESPN Insider only). Of course there is. That’s why coaches scout and prepare. There happens to only be a handful of teams capable of out-executing the Ducks. And guess what, Oregon knows what to expect from Stanford, too. Doesn’t mean we win, just means we know what’s coming for the most part ( you know I’m getting riled up and excited when I start slipping in a “we” here and there).

• The big news is Chip winning the day to the tune of a $20 million, six year contract extension. And you actually believed Chip when he said he only thinks in the moment. Some perspective to the story.
• Not a link here, but Chip, let’s talk direct for a moment. Philanthropy is all the rage among the rich. Ask Warren Buffet. This here blog and the WOTB would be much obliged if you arranged for us to fly up for the Stanford game. First class, of course. I’ll leave lodging to your discretion. I’m not greedy. PS: I already cleared my schedule. Just let me know when. PPS: Don’t make me beg.
• This guy is bartering for tickets to the game….hmmm. No. No, I won’t do that. Chip, my request stands.
• Funny video from supwitchugirl. Joey Harrington’s always been about the fan experience. He was even in the original Pit Crew admin with us before he, you know, got all big and stuff.
• Oregon’s offense is “Top-Rated” by the EDSBS CFB Buyer’s Guide. Favorite line: “Lows: May not hold up to repeated use in warmer climates, occasionally punches people.”
• I hate this link, only because Gregg Doyel is 95% blowhard (and he would appreciate me saying that), but his take is pretty good on paying football players. None of them have it that bad and it’s much more complicated than some make it out to be.
• Good news for me (in Philly for a wedding) but bad news for most Duck fans. The Washington State game will not be televised. That’s actually great news for the Cougars and if you read a Rob Moseley comment in the link, it sounds like Wazzu knows it.
• Question: Does a yellow and green can make up for the fact it’s still crappy Bud Light?
• James Day says the $200 million for the basketball arena could have been better spent on Autzen. Can’t agree with that. Just because basketball is down doesn’t mean that’s where it’s going to stay. The Ducks clearly have a department-wide goal to be top-notch in all sports and the arena was an important investment.
• Cougar fans would probably like to believe Mike Bellotti would be interested in coaching at WSU, but that’s not exactly the job you get back into coaching for.
• I have no idea what this article is talking about. And I thought The Onion was all satire. When did they get so truthful (link via Dr. Saturday)?

• Add Georgia to the list of SEC teams who hate competition after announcing the home and home with Oregon is canceled. The Bulldogs were one of the good guys in that league when it comes to scheduling, but the new athletic director just wants wins and money. Reason 4,298 that the BCS is bad for college football and UOSportsDude knows it.
• Nothing gets people going quite like stadium rankings. This Bleacher Reports lists Autzen Stadium third loudest.
• Oh boy, ESPN has some college game on Facebook now. Not yet seen, but coming soon: “[NAME] is looking for an agent and/or booster to provide extra benefits. Can you help me out?” Ignore.
• With GameDay coming to town, ESPN is rolling out a new ad with Corso and Puddles. That gives the Duck mascot three national commercials now plus the Capital One campaign. The athletic department is binging on media opportunities after years of Disney-induced oppression.
• Speaking of the Duck and the Capital One Mascot Challenge, apparently Tennessee cheated and Puddles is now 4-0. #thingsthatareimportant
• If you’re looking for the Stanford faithful, try the new blog Rule of Tree. Stanford’s not known for rabid fans, but Scott, who I met in Palo Alto last year, has been Cardinal since birth (I think).
• Addicted to Quack is already on top of the new SB Nation-affiliated Stanford blog with a Podcast talking Oregon-Stanford.
• The athletic department released info about College GameDay. A couple highlights: (1) starts at 6am with Erin Andrew (2) it’ll be in the Casanova Center Parking Lot. Too bad they couldn’t use PK Park to change it up.
• This article slightly confused me. It states that the Pac-10′s idea for a pod system won’t work on the grounds you wouldn’t play all teams in your own division. My question is why can’t the two teams you miss in the other pods be out of division opponents? Perhaps it’s too complicated and I’m too dense to figure it out.

It’s not mail, it’s visitor searches. Google, Yahoo, Bing… they all come from somewhere.

This week’s edition comes with 75% more useful information than ever before!

• 

  My mistake. I thought you wanted to get to know the real blog.

  the pond and beyond, university of oregon (AOL Search in Los Angeles, CA)

At first, I thought someone wanted to really get to know the blog. Like… really understand it in a deep and meaningful way, you know? And then I found out it’s just some boring student life newsletter (pdf). Sigh…

• oregon the pick ringtone (Google Search in Bend, OR)

Did the proliferation of the internet ruin this for anyone else? Used to be, you went to Autzen Stadium six times a year and cheered like hell when it was played. Now, you can just watch it on YouTube or some other corner of the internet whenever you want.

But if you want it on your phone, I can’t blame you. Here’s a site that has it (requires registration).

• oregon college football twitter (Google Search in Bend, OR)

Be careful with Twitter. Once you’re sucked in, there’s no getting out. It’s addicting.

If I missed something (I’m sure I did), feel free to throw it in the comments. There’s no particular order to this:

- @OffThePond (see, no particular order)
- @DuckFootball (Rob Moselely, Register-Guard)
- @DuckSportsNow (News Feed)
- @OregonFootball (Official)
- @TonyDiFrancisco (Duck Sports Authority)
- @GeorgeSchroeder (Register-Guard and SI)
- @AddictedToQuack (SBNation fan site)
- @Prehmmr (Duck Territory)
- @ajude34 (Register-Guard)
- @KenGoe (Oregonian)
- @JHuntweet (Oregonian)
- @UOSportsDude (Student-run fan blog)

Bonus Twitter: @TypicalHusky
Sample tweet: Tailgating today with my Dad, the frat, and a case of Zinfandel (Rombauer St Helena 2007). #gohuskies #uw

• gd autzen (Google Search in Sicklerville, NJ)

I hear ya’. It’s a bitch, ain’t it?

• “chip kelly” mindset (Google Search in Beaverton, OR)

This is equal parts simple and impossible. On the one hand, Chip is very clear. If you ask a dumb question such as “Hey coach, what do you hope to accomplish today?” he’s going to respond with “Win.” Duh. If you ask him, “Hey, what’s the injury status on so-and-so?” he’s going to say, altogether now, “Day-to-day.”

Simple, right?

On the other hand, he’s so freaking brilliant that no one can really understand the depths of his mindset beyond those surface answers. Ted Miller has suggested the inside of his brain looks like this and I assume that’s probably as good of a visual estimate as we can provide.

• at autzen stadium what does wtd mean? (Google Search in Lenexa, KS)

- Worship The Ducks?
- Whoopin’ Teams Down?
- Washington Totally Dreadful?

Nah, it stands for “Win The Day” a popular Chip Kelly mantra that the entire program seems to live by.

• oregon cheated vs tennessee (Google Search in Naha, Okinawa, Japan)

Oh come on, Japan. Why would you even say that? Wait, are you talking about this garbage? That’s nothing but wishful thinking on the part of some USC fans.

They did this, this, this and this in one half, but I wouldn’t call that cheating.

By the way, big, big thanks to keeerrrttt1 who posts an insane amount of Duck videos on YouTube. Everything is there that you want to find. Everything.

• kirk herbstreit for halloween (Google Search in Tuscaloosa, AL)

Oh, you clever college kids. May I suggest the following:

• how did oregon come up with oregon ducks (Google Search in Erlanger, KY)

The official athletics website has a great read on this topic. Seems the duck has encountered a lot of opposition over the years but always prevails.

• lane kiffin leaves vols (Google Search in Hawkinsville, GA)

He did? (warning: rated R for language and mild nudity – if you count a guy in a full body orange costume as nude… which I don’t)

• standing strong pac (Google Search in Carrollton, TX)

Pac-10 pride is the theme of the weak but good luck getting a Duck fan to say Go Huskies. Tried that already.

• jon wilner worst voter (Google Search in Vancouver, WA )

Word.

This blog has a no linking policy to Wilner’s stuff until he is no longer responsible for Oregon’s worst ranking. You’re gonna’ miss that traffic Wilner!

That’s the end of this week’s SearchBag, but don’t worry, it’s only the beginning of your football weekend. If you’re bored with Portland State, just follow OTP on Twitter.

• “pond’s feeling” (Yahoo Search in Tel Aviv, Israel)

The “Pond” is feeling jubilant, thank you.

• “alex scales today” (Google Search in Huntsville, AL)

Good search. Let’s Google someone else so when you Google this again, you get the answer you’re looking for. Googling….Googling….Googling. Ah, yes. Looks like he most recently played this past spring in Turkey with Oyak Renault Bursa and averaged 17 ppg.

On a side note, a certain college freshman currently writing this in the third person once asked Scales why he chose a certain dunk in the NCAA dunk contest. It failed and this unnamed person wanted to know what he was thinking. Scales simply responsed “Can you do that? Can you do that?” Well, no, but…. “Can you do that?” Sheesh, so sensitive, pick a better dunk next time.

• “does anyone have an oregon ducks o-zone password i could use” (Google Search in San Diego, CA)

I know what you’re thinking. “Nick, you cheap son of a bitch.” It wasn’t me, I swear. I already have an OZone password someone lets me use, ok? The rest of you leave. I need to talk to this guy in private….. ok, we’re clear. Username: itonlycosts$12. Password: ponyup

• “getting married autzen stadium” (Google Search in Renton, WA)

This is easy. I can coordinate the whole event if you want.

Don Essig has to officiate the thing. That’s a given. Gordon Riese would make a nice witness seeing as how if the bride runs off, he’ll probably still sign off on the license. Catering is a cinch. Bellotti’s Barbecue has that covered.

Can’t imagine a better entrance for the bride than riding in on the Harley…and to the Oregon fight song no less. You could probably even line up the marching band if you call ahead.

• “jokes oregon new mexico football“ (Google Search in Beaverton, OR)

Why are you Googling this? If you watched the game, you already saw the three hour punchline.

• “ken doll costumes” (Google Search in Elmhurst, NY)

With so many options, it’s never easy to choose the right Ken doll costume. You have so many stereotypes to choose from.

But in the end, I think if we’re all being honest with ourselves, we want to be Palm Beach Ken. That guy is livin’.

• “why duck football is greater than husky football” (Google Search in Seattle, WA)

Good work, Seattle. You’re really coming around up there. I wrote a book about this but figured you’d want the cliffs notes version so here goes.

- We have about 500 colors and none of them purple. There’s a reason for that.
- Ever seen this shirt? It’s true, you know.
- In the modern football era, Oregon is 11-4. And if we get even more modern, Oregon is 6-0… never beaten, it’s true. That alone should be enough for you.

Of course, that’s not really enough, so here’s more.

- This is an accurate description of Husky football (3rd post in the thread) whereas if you are describing Oregon, all you have to say is Pac-10 champs.
- In Oregon’s long and at times awful football history, they have never had a winless season. Washington did it two years ago.
- Even the mascot has a more accomplished resume with this and this national commercial.

Before I completely lose my day to this endeavor, I’ll leave it to anyone who wants to add more in the comments.

• “zipper alignment” (Google Search in Independence, MO)

A properly aligned zipper is paramount to looking good. If it’s going all cattywampus on you, imagine the horrors. A jacket, eh, whatever, but if you don’t get that thing taken care of below the belt, we all suffer.

SearchBag will be back next Friday with a whole new set of inane topics. If that’s too long of a wait, why not follow OTP on Twitter?

But it starts with New Mexico, a team that went 1-11 and returns only 10, 11 or 12 starters depending on what source you read (some personnel turnover is probably for the best anyway). At least in week 1, you can’t get too bored with an opponent since you’re just happy to have football back.

Still, this is going to be a laugher and as fans, we need some other things to keep the intrigue up.

Darron Thomas
This is the no-brainer and everyone is curious to see how Thomas performs. If I had to pick one thing about him that I’m most interested in, it’s his impact on the running game. I have no idea how well Thomas executes the ball fake or how elusive he is in the open field. A successful runner at quarterback in this offense has little to do with 40 times and a lot more to do with executing correctly. It’s been my feeling so far that we’re going to see more passing and less running from the quarterback than the past two years.

The Missing Crown and Other Field Level Improvements

Photo Credit: Jeff Oliver

Feast your eyes on the field and stare in awe at its complete “flatness.” The Autzen crown was removed during the offseason and a new turf installed. This will make the team 17.8% more effective according to a study I just made up.

Additionally, there’s a new look for the interior walls at field level which appears to be a giant, huge, enormous, big, large improvement (I’m just so adjective happy today). I couldn’t find a photo…the only place I know that had one has exceeded bandwidth limit.

Kenjon Barner
Wow, there’s been a lot of hype about Barner this offseason. And it all stems from his last two games where he racked up yardage all over the field. It’ll be fun to see him as the feature back, but I’m still looking forward to week 2 when he’s paired up with LaMichael James.

Will OZone Quality Be Remotely Decent?
For other Off The Ponders who can’t wait to hook up their laptop to their TV, who’s excited to see how much better the broadcast quality will be this year? There’s nothing like having a nice, big HD TV in what is seemingly the modern year of 2010 and watching fuzzy outlines of players chasing each other around the field. If you’ve done this before, you know what I’m talking about. Please, please be better.

Entire Defensive Unit
The hype is equally stratospheric for the defense as it is for Barner. It still doesn’t come with any name-brand players (except perhaps Kenny Rowe), but it’s a fast, experienced and cohesive unit with depth (can we get another adjective please?!) If this is really going to be among the best defenses ever assembled at Oregon, I want to see an early statement of dominance made against an inferior opponent. And no junk TDs in the fourth quarter, either.

PK Park Experience

PK Park. Oregon's New Home to Expensive Beers

The blog won’t be experiencing the experience, but it’s the latest tailgaiting extravaganza from the UO designed to get your dollars on their $6 beers instead of whatever you’re featuring at your own party. For their next project, they should just plop down a giant bar on what’s left of the parking lot.

Photo Credit: Keevy Photography

While I was redoing some stuff on the site in the last couple months, I searched high and low for some unique shots of Autzen Stadium. Deep into a Google image search, I finally came across a couple pictures on a Flickr account that I really liked. With the blessing of Keevy Photography, I was able to use one of the shots in my header.

I enjoyed the pictures enough that I wanted to share them here before the season gets started.

Autzen Stadium
Autzen Stadium with footbridge
Jacqua Center under construction
Knight Library
Lillis Business Complex
Quad in front of Knight Library

Just an 18 year old freshman that couldn’t tell Agate from University, I wandered into Autzen Stadium on the night of September 25, just days after arriving on campus. I’d been to a game before when I was about six, but with little memory of the event. Even if I could remember that day, it’s safe to say it was nothing like this.

This was a night game and this was USC.

I’d arrived at the game by way of a standing room only ticket having not been able to secure one of the student variety. Even though I’d been a fan as a kid, at this moment, standing at the top of the student section for the first time, I felt out of place. It was like I was in a room with 45,000 people that knew something I didn’t.

What they knew was what I was about to discover. Oregon football is fun.

My immersion took only a full game and three overtimes. The intoxication that had me at hello involved a roller coaster of sinking feelings and utter joy that would eventually be capped by complete euphoria. On that night, the leg of a backup kicker gave Oregon a 33-30 win and, me, an addiction.

It was an unforgettable moment in the middle of a historical run that saw Oregon increase its win total every season from 1997 to 2001. Included were some monumental achievements including the school’s first ever 10 win season. Oregon’s journey would eventually reach a  remarkable crescendo when it finished number two in the country after winning the 2002 Fiesta Bowl. By the end, a program had been forever changed.

The expectations going forward would be different (and so would the uniforms). The stadium would get bigger, the budget more bloated, the scrutiny more intense and the experience just a little less organic.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s always been exciting and I relish every advancement the program makes. Still, it’s hard to recapture those first moments you experience something, those moments before you realize what it is you’re really doing.

If all of the preceding seems dramatic, just know it’s simply to say, it feels like we’re there again, like it’s 1999 and we’re about to take in something special for the first time.

Maybe it’s the Halloween setting or perhaps it’s the magnitude of what’s at stake as the nation’s attention shines on little ol’ Eugene. Certainly, there’s a growing sense that Chip Kelly, the first year head coach, is piloting the beginning stages of Oregon’s next evolutionary step into college football’s elite.

Whatever it is, the excitement is palpable even if you’re experiencing it through a computer 975 miles away. Something special is brewing in Eugene. You know it, I know it and on Saturday, the whole country will know it.