With that said, here we go with Bowl PreNicktions, v4.0. As usual, it’s inane, lacks any real legitimate analysis and is too long for the average American to read past the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl, but gives me something to do.

PreNicktion: Best guess at who will win.
Wisdometer:* A scale of 1 to 10 indicating how much I know about the game.
Record Guesser: My best guess at the actual record of a team (first record is the guess, second record is the actual). For those of you scoring at home, I guessed correctly on 40 of 70 teams, a 57.1% success rate, down from a year ago.

*The Wisdometer continues to have no affiliation with the Whizzenator which, while being an outdated reference, is working on a comeback via the Iowa football program, otherwise known as an elaborate drug house.

New Mexico Bowl, Dec. 18, 11:00 am, Albuquerque, ESPN

BYU vs. UTEP
Did I know UTEP was bowl eligible? No. Did I think BYU imploded this year? Yes. In other words, I have no clue what’s going on here. But the college football withdrawals are heavy right now and therefore, I can’t wait for this game (that’s a lie. I can and will wait.).

PreNicktion: BYU because they have fewer letters in their acronym. It’s very logical (see, it was logical).
Wisdometer: .7
Record Guesser: BYU (8-4, 6-6), UTEP (7-5, 6-6)

uDrove Humanitarian Bowl, Dec. 18, 5:30 pm, Boise, ESPN

Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State
When you consult the Bowl PreNicktion handbook, you’ll find one of the hard and fast rules is that you do not pick directional schools to win. Not ever. This is a guiding principal that is at the very foundation of my beliefs. So, no, Northern Illinois, you will not be picked to win.

PreNicktion: Fresno State (need to rethink that rule, but I won’t)
Wisdometer: 2.5
Record guesser: Northern Illinois (8-4, 10-3), Fresno State (8-4, 8-4).

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Dec. 18, 6:00 pm, New Orleans, ESPN

Ohio vs. Troy
What in the name of “playoffs would kill the bowl system” is this? Let’s say an 8 or 16 team playoff would kill the bowls. It wouldn’t, but let’s entertain the thought. If this bowl game got murdered in a way so grotesque that CSI would cringe, who is going to care? Even Troy would agree that we’re all better off.

PreNicktion: Troy. That just seems more fun to root for than Ohio (I don’t even remember who won). 
Wisdometer: 0.0 (this will be absolute rock bottom for the Wisdometer).
Record Guesser: Ohio (9-4, 8-4), Troy (7-5, 7-5)

Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl, Dec. 21, 5:00 pm, St. Petersburg, ESPN

Southern Mississippi vs. Louisville
You didn’t forget already, did you? No directional schools!

PreNicktion: Louisville
Wisdometer: 1.1
Record Guesser: Southern Mississippi (8-4, 8-4), Louisville (7-5, 6-6)

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl, Dec. 22, 5:00 pm, Las Vegas, ESPN

Utah vs. Boise State
Let’s recap. Prior to 2010, Boise State was going to join Utah, TCU and BYU in the Mountain West Conference. Together, they would be the non-AQ Superfriends and rule the BCS-busting world. Buuuuut, TCU and Utah found themselves a better gig while BYU just said eff it and went all independent up in this bitch. Now, the Broncos are basically relegated to matchups like this every bowl season where they’ll play some team with a fancy record that got all fat and happy on a weak schedule of conference cream puffs. In other words, unless a playoff happens, we have decades of a three-month Boise-hating bitch-fest to look forward to every season.

PreNicktion: Boise State (by so many points, it hurts)
Wisdometer: 8.9
Record Guesser: Utah (10-2, 10-2), Boise State (11-1, 11-1)

San Diego County CU Poinsettia Bowl, Dec. 23, 5 pm, San Diego, ESPN

Navy vs. San Diego State
I’m pretty sure this bowl was invented to stage exactly this game. Both Navy and San Diego State have some sort of contractual agreement to play in the Poinsettia Bowl if eligible. The Aztecs finally made it after many, many, many years of falling in the woods (playing football) without making a sound (winning). Attendance and interest in this game, at least in San Diego, will be very high. 

PreNicktion: San Diego State
Wisdometer: 7.3
Record Guesser: Navy (9-3, 8-3),San Diego State (8-4, 8-4)

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, Dec. 24, 5 pm, Honolulu, ESPN

Hawaii vs. Tulsa
Oh, I don’t know. And if any expert on ESPN tells you they do, immediately discount that opinion and forever banish that individual from influencing you in any way. Nobody knows anything about this game. Period. 

PreNicktion: Hawaii
Wisdometer: 1.4
Record Guesser: Hawaii (9-3, 10-3), Tulsa (7-5, 9-3)

Little Caesars Bowl, Dec. 26, 5:30 pm, Detroit, ESPN

Florida International vs. Toledo
Take what I said about the last bowl, carry the five, then multiply by a factor of 10,000 and add seven. By the way, “International” vaguely acts as a direction when it comes to making a pick.

PreNicktion: Toledo
Wisdometer: 0.0
Record Guesser: Florida International (8-4, 6-6), Toldeo (7-5, 8-4)

Advocare V100 Independence Bowl, Dec. 27, 2:00 pm, Shreveport, ESPN2

Air Force vs. Georgia Tech
I’m falling asleep as I write this post. Literaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllwkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Wha-wha-what happened? I’m awake! I’m awake! My head must have fallen on the keyboard. I’d rather just leave the text that’s there rather than try and write something about this game. Seriously, when does bowl season start, anyway?

Pst, this is actually kind of an interesting matchup, what with the two option teams going head-to-head, but let’s not have that get in the way of belittling bad bowl games.

PreNicktion: Air Force
Wisdometer: 4.7
Record Guesser: Air Force (7-5, 8-4), Georgia Tech (7-5, 6-6)

Champ Sports Bowl, Dec. 28, 3:30 pm, San Francisco, ESPN

West Virginia vs. North Carolina State
Who is coaching at West Virginia? It’s so confusing. If you follow along on Twitter (if you don’t keep it that way. Your free time will thank me.), there’s all sorts of chatter about Oklahoma State’s Dana Holgorsen. I seriously don’t know if the active coach Bill Stewart still has the gig. I don’t like instability, so I’ll take a chance on an ACC team. 

PreNicktion: North Carolina State 
Wisdometer: 3.2
Record Guesser: West Virginia (8-4, 9-3), North Carolina State (7-5, 8-4)

Insight Bowl, Dec. 28, 7:00 pm, Tempe, ESPN

Missouri vs. Iowa
Tempe is a perfect location for Iowa. Well, El Paso would be perfect, what with it being a border town to Mexico. But Tempe is a short drive away from some sweet drug smuggling tunnels and that has to raise some eyebrows within the drug house that is Iowa football.

PreNicktion: Missouri
Wisdometer: 6.9
Record Guesser: Missouri (9-3, 10-2), Iowa (7-5, 7-5)

Military Bowl Pres. by Northrop Grumman, Dec. 29, 11:30 pm, Washington D.C., ESPN

East Carolina  vs. Maryland
You really have to appreciate the marketing going on here. Northrop Grumman wants a wider audience to help sell it’s military grade helicopters. I, for one, had not heard of the company prior to its bowl sponsorship and am now considering them to be my exclusive supplier of helicopters. See, sponsorship works.

PreNicktion: Oh, uh, Maryland?
Wisdometer: 2.4
Record Guesser: East Carolina (7-5, 6-6), Maryland (8-4, 8-4)

Texas Bowl, Dec. 29, 3:00 pm, Houston, ESPN

Illinois vs. Baylor
You have to look at this game and think for a second. It’s actually a Big Ten vs. Big 12 matchup. No, really, this is big boy football. 

PreNicktion: Baylor
Wisdometer: 4.1 
Record Guesser: Illinois (6-6, 6-6), Baylor (7-5, 7-5)

Valero Alamo Bowl, Dec. 29, 5:00 pm, San Antonio, ESPN

Oklahoma State vs. Arizona
Oklahoma State has Pistol Pete as its mascot. Pistol Pete shoots things. Arizona is a severely wounded, sickly animal that is long past its better days. Fire away, Pete.

PreNicktion: Oklahoma State
Wisdometer: 7.9 
Record Guesser: Oklahoma State (9-3, 10-2), Arizona (7-5, 7-5)

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, Dec. 30, 9:00 am, Dallas, ESPN

Army vs. SMU
Hmm, perhaps I jumped the gun on naming my exclusive helicopter provider. Now I’m confused. There is far too much military aerospace in the bowl sponsorship arena.

PreNicktion: SMU
Wisdometer: 2.2
Record Guesser: Army (7-5, 6-5), SMU (8-4, 7-6)

New Era Pinstripe Bowl, Dec. 30, 12:20 pm, Bronx, ESPN

Kansas State vs. Syracuse
Syracuse fans: Sweet! We’re going back to a bowl!
Kansas State fans: Hey, us too!  Bill Snyder rules!
Syracuse fans: Can’t wait to find out where we’re headed. Florida? Texas? California? Hope it’s warm and sunny.
Kansas State fans: We packed our swimsuit. It’s going to be epic.
Both fans: The Bronx? In late December? This is a reward?

PreNicktion: Syracuse
Wisdometer: 5.6
Record Guesser: Kansas State (7-5, 7-5), Kansas State (7-5, 7-5)

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl, Dec. 30, 3:40 pm, Nashville, ESPN

North Carolina vs. Tennessee
The Volunteers obviously got some serious shower discipline problems worked out to get their record to 6-6. That’s not the kind of thing to take lightly. All the greats have turned the proverbial corner upon having shower discipline habits reach their peak. You didn’t think USC’s dynasty just happened, did you?

PreNicktion: Tennessee
Wisdometer: 6.8
Record Guesser: North Carolina (6-6, 7-5), Tennessee (6-6, 6-6)

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl, Dec. 30, 7:00 pm, San Diego, CBS

Nebraska vs. Washington
Game. Of. The. Year. If you can’t be excited for “Jake Locker’s Revenge,” you do not care about life. Last seen losing the Heisman Trophy in a September performance against the Cornhuskers, Locker has resurfaced as the same bad quarterback with slightly less hype ready to take the Huskies to the promised land of 7-6. “We’re back.”

PreNicktion: Nebraska
Wisdometer: 8.0
Record Guesser: Nebraska (9-3, 10-3), Washington (6-6, 6-6)

Meineke Car Care Bowl, Dec. 31, 9:00 am, Charlotte, ESPN

South Florida vs. Clemson
You ever just have so much apathy toward something, you can’t possible be bothered to care? For me, it’s usually whatever last came out of Joe Giansante’s mouth (yeah, I said it). On this day, I make an exception and will exclusively not care about Clemson and South Florida. 

PreNicktion: Clemson
Wisdometer: 2.3
Record Guesser: South Florida (8-4, 7-5), Clemson (7-5, 6-6)

Hyundai Sun Bowl, Dec. 31, 11:00 am, El Paso, CBS

Notre Dame vs. Miami
Who doesn’t love some Catholics vs. Convicts? For one game only, I think they should ask 1980s players to suit up because the current version of these two teams is quite boring. Really, this game is indicative of the majority of bowl season. Just another game dressed up as something much better than it really is. 

PreNicktion: Miami
Wisdometer: 6.7
Record Guesser: Notre Dame (7-5, 7-5), Miami (7-5, 7-5)

AutoZone Liberty Bowl, Dec. 31, 12:30 pm, Memphis, ESPN

Georgia vs. Central Florida
Too. Many. Bowls

PreNicktion: Georgia
Wisdometer: 4.1
Record Guesser: Georgia (6-6, 6-6), Central Florida (8-4, 10-3)

Chick-fil-A Bowl, Dec. 31, 4:30 pm, Atlanta, ESPN

South Carolina vs. Florida State
Okay, I guess this is a decent matchup. Who doesn’t love a game between two teams that got absolutely smashed in their conference title games? I don’t know. They’re both decent, but there’s a reason the NFL only lets 1/3 of teams from a conference make the playoffs.

PreNicktion: Florida State (South Carolina reasonably challenges the directional school rule, but not quite)
Wisdometer: 4.8
Record Guesser: South Carolina (9-4, 9-4), Florida State (9-4, 9-4)

TicketCity Bowl, Jan. 1, 9:00 am, Dallas, ESPNU

Northwestern vs. Texas Tech
Finally! All this bowl season depression comes to an end. With January 1 comes big games and epic matchups… and this game, too.

PreNicktion: Texas Tech (for no real reason at all)
Wisdometer: 3.9
Record Guesser: Northwestern (7-5, 7-5), Texas Tech (7-5, 7-5)

Outback Bowl, Jan. 1, 10:00 am, Tampa, ABC

Florida vs. Penn State
Okay, here we go. So what if both teams are 7-5? At least it has name brands. Granted, it’s the castoff products of historically successful companies. You know, things like a Windows phone or clear Pepsi. But try it anyway. It can’t be that bad.*

*In fact, it can and probably will be that bad. On second thought, watch the other game at 10 instead.

PreNicktion: Florida
Wisdometer: 8.1 
Record Guesser: Florida (7-5, 7-5), Penn State (7-5, 7-5)

Capital One Bowl, Jan. 1, 10:00 am, Orlando, CBS

Alabama vs. Michigan State
I know I’m supposed to pick Alabama because they are the greatest team that words ever told. But my interpretation of those words has been that I was fed a load of crap. Should be a good game, though. Probably the first bowl of the year that’s truly worth watching. 

PreNicktion: Michigan State
Wisdometer: 8.5 
Record Guesser: Alabama (9-3, 9-3), Michigan State (11-1, 11-1)

Progressive Gator Bowl, Jan. 1, 10:30 am, Jacksonville, ESPN2

Mississippi State vs. Michigan
Dan Mullen’s still coaching the Bulldogs and everyone’s happy. Rich Rodriguez is still coaching the Wolverines and no one’s happy. Always go with peace and harmony when making your bowl picks.

PreNicktion: Mississippi State
Wisdometer: 8.3
Record Guesser: Mississippi State (9-3, 8-4), Michigan (7-5, 7-5)

Rose Bowl Game Presented By VIZIO, Jan. 1, 2:00 pm, Pasadena, ESPN

Wisconsin vs. TCU
I’m not going to be one of those uppity snobs that gets all provincial over the Rose Bowl. Congratulations to TCU on getting here. May Brett Bielema have mercy on your soul. Should the score devolve to an 84-7 bludgeoning, just remember, you’re at the Rose bowl. 

PreNicktion: Wisconsin
Wisdometer: 9.2
Record Guesser: Wisconsin (11-1, 11-1), TCU (12-0, 12-0)

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, Jan. 1, 5:30 pm, Glendale, ESPN

UConn vs. Oklahoma
Is there any game with a more obvious outcome than this one? There are times when popular perception is wrong and a good game is had against all odds. This is not one of those times. But per OTP protocol, I will root against Oklahoma.

PreNicktion: Oklahoma
Wisdometer: 9.5
Record Guesser: UConn (8-4, 8-4), Oklahoma (11-2, 11-2)

Discover Orange Bowl, Jan. 3, 5:00 pm, Miami, ESPN

Stanford vs. Virginia Tech
It’s not the Stanford vs. Wisconsin matchup that would have been one for the ages, but nonetheless, a pretty exciting game. Stanford sold far more tickets than I thought possible and they’re still only halfway to fulfilling the allotment the school is on the hook for. I can’t imagine anyone from the Stanford business school is making these financial decisions.

PreNicktion: Stanford
Wisdometer: 9.6
Record Guesser: Stanford (11-1, 11-1), Virginia Tech (11-2, 11-2)

Allstate Sugar Bowl, Jan. 4, 5:30 pm, New Orleans, ESPN

Ohio State vs. Arkansas
Uh, oh. Ohio State has to play another ESS EE CEE school in a bowl game. 45-10? 42-7? What’s it going to be? Regardless, you know Ohio State is just pissed that Oregon is playing in the title game. And that should be worth a smile or two.

PreNicktion: Ohio State
Wisdometer: 7.5 
Record Guesser: Ohio State (11-1, 11-1), Arkansas (10-2, 10-2)

GoDaddy.com Bowl, Jan. 6, 5:00 pm, Mobile, ESPN

Middle Tennessee vs. Miami (OH)
Need to look this one up on StubHub. One would think it could be an affordable alternative if you can’t get tickets to the Natty. Perhaps not an ideal alternative, but affordable.

PreNicktion: Miami (OH)
Wisdometer: 6.7
Record Guesser: Middle Tennessee  (8-4, 6-6), Miami (OH) (8-5, 9-4)

AT&T Cotton Bowl, Jan. 7, 5:00 pm, Arlington, Fox

LSU vs. Texas A&M
The Hat is always must-see-TV. He gets his own time slot in  east coast prime time to do whatever strikes him as necessary to win. If that involves sacrificing a live Tiger at halftime, then so be it. 

PreNicktion: LSU
Wisdometer: 7.4
Record Guesser: LSU (10-2, 10-2), Texas A&M (8-4, 9-3)

BBVA Compass Bowl, Jan. 8, 9:00 am, Birmingham, ESPN

Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky
We are going full steam ahead into the national title game…

PreNicktion: Kentucky
Wisdometer: 5.2 
Record Guesser: Pittsburgh (8-4, 7-5), Kentucky (6-6, 6-6)

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, Jan. 9, 6:00 pm, San Francisco, ESPN

Nevada vs. Boston College
Approaching at top speed…

PreNicktion: Nevada
Wisdometer: 5.3
Record Guesser: Nevada (11-1, 12-1), Boston College (8-4, 7-5)

Tostitos BCS National Championship Game, Jan. 10, 5:30 pm, Glendale, ESPN

Oregon vs. Auburn
Auburn is already clearing space on its shelves to sell national champion gear. Cecil Newton already accepted a cash advance on Cam’s championship ring. The ESS EEE CEE is thrilled with its impending fifth consecutive national title.

And yet, the game remains three weeks away as of this posting. Just imagine what kind of bruise its going to leave on the SEC’s collective ego to see its conference lose to a team from the Pacific Northwest. Science will study it for decades and ultimately determine, these people are quite full of themselves.

PreNicktion: Oregon
Wisdometer: 10.0
Record Guesser: Oregon (12-0, 12-0), Auburn (13-0, 13-0)

Off The Pond Bowl Mania Signup Reminder: Either I have way fewer readers than I thought or picking 34 bowl games is just too hard.

Today’s the last day to sign up on ESPN.com’s Bowl Mania under the Off The Pond group.

I guess I should have offered more than pride as a prize. Ok, fine, 60″ plasma TV to the winner. Prize is insured and backed by Merrill Lynch.

Bowl PreNicktions went on a one-year hiatus in 2008, but they’re back and I think I’m in line for my first ever 34 for 34 performance.

PreNicktion: Best guess at who will win.
Wisdometer:* A scale of 1 to 10 indicating how much I know about the game.
Record Guesser: My best guess at the actual record of a team (first record is the guess, second record is the actual). For those of you scoring at home, I guessed correctly on 45 of 68 teams, a 66.2% success rate.

*The Wisdometer continues to have no affiliation with the Whizzenator which at this point is just an outdated pop-culture reference.

New Mexico Bowl, Dec. 19, 1:30 pm, Albuquerque, ESPN

Fresno State vs. Wyoming.
And we’re off. Um, but it’s okay if I don’t watch right? Just because it’s the first bowl game doesn’t mean I’m obligated to sit down and spend three hours on it.

PreNicktion: Fresno State
Wisdometer: 1.5
Record Guesser: Fresno State (7-5, 6-6), Wyoming (7-5, 8-4)

St. Petersburg Bowl, Dec. 19, 5:00 pm, St. Petersburg, ESPN

Central Florida vs. Rutgers
I promise. We just have to get through the first, oh, 30 games or so and this will get more entertaining. It’s not my fault these bowl games exist, but dammit, I’m going to preNickt them anyway.

PreNicktion: Rutgers (It’s an old PreNicktion rule, 3.6.7 I believe, that you always pick against the directional school)
Wisdometer: 0.00 (Seriously, no idea)
Record guesser: Central Florida (7-5, 8-4), Rutgers (7-5, 8-4).

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Dec. 20, 5:30 pm, New Orleans, ESPN

Southern Miss vs. Middle Tennessee
I hate it when two directional schools play each other. But still, the PreNicktion handbook will tell you that middle is less of a direction than Southern, so you always go with middle.

PreNicktion: Middle Tennessee
Wisdometer: 0.0 (yikes, two in a row. I’m clueless)
Record Guesser: Southern Miss (6-6, 7-5), Middle Tennessee (7-5, 9-3)

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl, Dec. 22, 5:00 pm, Las Vegas, ESPN

Oregon State vs. BYU
I used to have a theory that you always bet on a team full of Mormons in a game played in Las Vegas because they can’t get into any trouble before the game. But they’re only 2-2 in four straight Las Vegas Bowl appearances, so that doesn’t really apply.

PreNicktion: Oregon State
Wisdometer: 8.6
Record Guesser: Oregon State (8-4, 8-4), BYU (10-2, 10-2)

San Diego County CU Poinsettia Bowl, Dec. 23, 5 pm, San Diego, ESPN

Utah vs. California
I just opened an account at a San Diego credit union. It was not this one. While that’s not relevant, at least I put off talking about the fact that Bears are the new Cougars. You know, usually when a team blows a game, you say, “boy, they sure Coug’d it!” The Cal Bears, though, are making a push to own the phrase. As in, “Hey, Cal was a top ten team, but they Bear’d it!” Eh, doesn’t have the same ring does it?

PreNicktion: California (all that and you pick Cal? Remember, I’m a Pac-10 homer)
Wisdometer: 9.0
Record Guesser: Utah (9-3, 9-3), California (8-4, 8-4)

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, Dec. 24, 5 pm, Honolulu, ESPN

Nevada vs. SMU
Easiest pick ever. Would you pick the one and only team that lost to Washington State to win a bowl game? I didn’t think so.

PreNicktion: Nevada
Wisdometer: 3.2
Record Guesser: Nevada (8-4, 8-4), SMU (7-5, 7-5)

Little Caesars Bowl, Dec. 26, 10:00 am, Detroit, ESPN

Marshall vs. Ohio
We Are Mar…. uh, irrelevant?

PreNicktion: Ohio, I guess
Wisdometer: .1
Record Guesser: Marshall (6-6, 6-6), Ohio (7-5, 9-4)

Meineke Car Care Bowl, Dec. 26, 1:30 pm, Charlotte, ESPN

Pittsburgh vs. North Carolina
I recently started a therapy group called “We were thiiiiiiiiis close to playing in the BCS.” So far, only Pittsburgh and Oregon State have joined, but we’re making real progress.

PreNicktion: North Carolina
Wisdometer: 7.5
Record Guesser: Pittsburgh (9-3, 9-3), North Carolina (8-4, 8-4)

Emerald Bowl, Dec. 26, 5 pm, San Francisco, ESPN

Boston College vs. USC
Hahahaha. Oh, God, it’s funny. I mean, USC is playing a bowl game on December 26 in a baseball stadium. Aaah. It’s funny, right?

PreNicktion: USC (Yeah, it’s funny, but come on, they’re still going to win)
Wisdometer: 7.9
Record Guesser: Boston College (8-4, 8-4), USC (8-4, 8-4)

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, Dec. 27, 5:30 pm, Nashville, ESPN

Kentucky vs. Clemson
Let’s see, I was 25 when I first started doing this Bowl PreNicktion and I didn’t have the maturity to not laugh at the name of this bowl. Fast forward three years and, nope, still not there. It’s still funny.

PreNicktion: Clemson, but they have a tendency to lose anything that matters. They’re like the ACC’s Cal.
Wisdometer: 6.6
Record Guesser: Kentucky (7-5, 7-5), Clemson (8-4, 8-5)

Advocare V100 Independence Bowl, Dec. 28, 2:00 pm, Shreveport, ESPN2

Texas A&M vs. Georgia
Any Oregon fan should have a special place in their football memory for the Independence Bowl so no bashing here. In fact, it looks like a pretty good game just on name brand recognition.

PreNicktion: Georgia
Wisdometer: 6.9
Record Guesser: Texas A&M (7-5, 6-6), Georgia (8-4, 7-5)

EagleBank Bowl, Dec. 29, 1:30 pm, Washington D.C., ESPN

UCLA vs. Temple
No offense to Rick Neuheisel, but if you’re spending a Saturday watching Army-Navy with a vested interest in who wins, your program is about as irrelevant as it gets. Somebody wake me when UCLA ends USC’s dynasty.

PreNicktion: UCLA (one for the trophy mantle in Westwood)
Wisdometer: 4.8
Record Guesser: UCLA (6-6, 6-6), Temple (9-3, 9-3)

Champs Sports Bowl, Dec. 29, 5:00 pm, Orlando, ESPN

Miami vs. Wisconsin
Just watched the 30 for 30 presentation of The U on ESPN. That was perhaps the best two hours of sports filmmaking ever. I won’t even describe it. Just make sure you watch it.

PreNicktion: Miami (let’s see that swagger again)
Wisdometer: 6.0
Record Guesser: Miami (9-3, 9-3), Wisconsin (10-3, 9-3)

Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl, Dec. 30, 1:30 pm, Boise, ESPN

Bowling Green vs. Idaho
Can we all agree that blue turf is the dumbest thing going in college football? It’s dumber than the BCS. For that reason alone, Boise State deserves to get shunned. The only thing that could make this game worse is the fact they are playing it on blue turf.

PreNicktion: Idaho
Wisdometer: 2.2
Record Guesser: Bowling Green (7-5, 7-5), Idaho (7-5, 7-5)

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, Dec. 30 5:00 pm, San Diego, ESPN

Arizona vs. Nebraska
This just in. Nebraska and Arizona have joined my “We were thiiiiiiiiis close to playing in the BCS” therapy group. It’s not going well. Nebraska keeps trying to make Colt McCoy’s pass last one more second, Pittsburgh and Arizona keep arguing about extra point holds and Oregon State is already trying to figure out what bowl they go to instead of the Rose in 2010 when they lose the Civil War.

PreNicktion: Arizona
Wisdometer: 8.4
Record Guesser: Arizona (8-4, 8-4), Nebraska (9-4, 9-4)

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, Dec. 31, 9:00 am, Fort Worth, ESPN

Houston vs. Air Force
Has Houston’s quarterback had his arm fall off yet? Can you gamble on the over/under of number of passes he throws? I would not take anything under 75.

PreNicktion: Houston
Wisdometer: 3.0
Record Guesser: Houston (9-3, 10-3), Air Force (7-5, 7-5)

Brut Sun Bowl, Dec. 31, 11:00 am, El Paso, CBS

Oklahoma vs. Stanford
Let’s go back to September 5, 2009. Oklahoma lost to BYU and admit it, you felt a slight twinge of happiness because after all, misery loves company. Fast forward to the present and Oregon ultimately remedied itself, but just remember that the Sooners were there for you in a time of need.

PreNicktion: Oklahoma (as much as I’ve loved Stanford this year, I don’t trust them, especially without Andrew Luck)
Record Guesser: Oklahoma (7-5, 7-5), Stanford (8-4, 8-4)

Texas Bowl, Dec. 31, 12:30 pm, Houston, ESPN

Navy vs. Missouri
It still bothers me, the arrogance of Texas to have a bowl game without a sponsor. We get it, you’re Texas, you’re awesome, you could be your own country, but for the love of God, someone call Flomax and get this game a sponsor.

PreNicktion: Navy
Wisdometer: 5.6
Record Guesser: Navy (8-4, 9-4), Missouri (7-5, 8-4)

NFL Network Insight Bowl, Dec. 31, 3:00 pm, Tempe, NFL Network

Minnesota vs. Iowa State
I thought Minnesota lost every game this year. Literally, I thought they went 0-12. And Iowa State? They’re bowl eligible?

PreNicktion: Iowa State, because by the NCAA rule, someone has to win
Wisdometer: 6.9
Record Guesser: Minnesota (6-6, 6-6), Iowa State (6-6, 6-6)

Chick-Fil-A Bowl, Dec. 31, 4:30 pm, Atlanta, ESPN

Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee
Whoops, couldn’t even get a sentence out and Lane Kiffin just committed another NCAA violation. Nothing a few hostesses can’t clean up.

PreNicktion: Tennessee
Wisdometer: 4.3
Record Guesser: Virginia Tech (8-4, 9-3), Tennessee (7-5, 7-5)

Outback Bowl, Jan. 1, 8:00 am, Tampa, ESPN

Northwestern vs. Auburn
Ridiculous. Northwestern is this year’s “team playing on January 1st that makes you cringe at the Pac-10′s bowl agreements.” And, actually, Auburn fits that bill as well. Mediocrity, thy name is the Outback Bowl.

PreNicktion: Auburn, because the PreNicktion handbook always bets against the Big Ten in a pinch
Wisdometer: 3.9
Record Guesser: Northwestern (8-4, 8-4), Auburn (7-5, 7-5)

Capital One Bowl, Jan. 1, 10:00 am, Orlando, ABC

Penn State vs. LSU
They just renamed this the, “We Can’t Beat Anybody Ranked So We’ll Just Play Each Other” Bowl. Both Penn State and LSU each played two teams ranked in the final BCS top 25. They both went 0-2. Ah, to schedule the cupcakes.

PreNicktion: LSU with PreNicktion handbook in full effect
Wisdometer: 8.2
Record Guesser: Penn State (10-2, 10-2), LSU (9-3, 9-3)

Konica Minolta Gator Bowl, Jan. 1, 10:00 am, Jacksonville, CBS

West Virginia vs. Florida State
There are some upset teams right now that the Seminoles got this bowl game after going 6-6. But who cares. Bobby Bowden deserves a proper send-off and I’ve always liked his team.

PreNicktion: Florida State (I’m a sucker for Bobby Bowden)
Wisdometer: 7.3
Record Guesser: West Virginia (9-3, 9-3), Florida State (6-6, 6-6)

Rose Bowl Game Presented By Citi, Jan. 1, 1:30 pm, Pasadena, ABC

Ohio State vs. Oregon
I like everything about this part of the bowl PreNicktions. I like reading the words Rose Bowl, Pasadena, Ohio State vs. Oregon, Jan. 1 and most importantly, the PreNicktion…

PreNicktion: Oregon
Wisdometer: 9.7
Record Guesser: Ohio State (10-2, 10-2), Oregon (10-2, 10-2)

AllState Sugar Bowl, Jan. 1, 5:30 pm, New Orleans, Fox

Florida vs. Cincinnati
Let us pray. Dear Tim Tebow, thank you for blessing us all with four years of you. ESPN will never be the same. We are all better people for having spent just 5 minutes near you. In your name, amen. Oh, P.S. Tebow, be sure to thank Dennis Dixon’s ACL when you get to the league. After all, that’s the only reason you have a Heisman Trophy.

PreNicktion: Florida
Wisdometer: 9.5
Record Guesser: Florida (12-1, 12-1), Cincinnati (12-0, 12-0)

International Bowl, Jan. 2, 9am, Toronto, ESPN2

South Florida vs. Northern Illinois
Ugh, it’s not even worth griping about. ESPN makes money, so these bowls exist. You don’t have to watch it. I can promise you, I’ll be enjoying celebratory sleep at game time.

PreNicktion: South Florida
Wisdometer: 0.5
Record Guesser: South Florida (8-4, 7-5), Northern Illinois (7-5, 7-5)

Papajohns.com Bowl, Jan. 2, 11:00 am, Birmingham, ESPN

South Carolina vs. UConn
If you don’t root for UConn, then you are a soulless creature. That team has been through a lot this year.

PreNicktion: UConn
Wisdometer: 3.8
Record Guesser: South Carolina (7-5, 7-5), UConn (7-5, 7-5)

AT&T Cotton Bowl, Jan. 2, 11:00 am, Arlington, Fox

Oklahoma State vs. Mississippi
They should really let me rename these bowls. The AT&T Underachieving Bowl would make so much more sense.

PreNicktion: Oklahoma State
Wisdometer: 6.7
Record Guesser: Oklahoma State (9-3, 9-3), Mississippi (9-3, 8-4)

AutoZone Liberty Bowl, Jan. 2, 2:30 pm, Memphis, ESPN

Arkansas vs. East Carolina
Ooh, my theory on directional schools is being put to the test. The Pirates are a good choice here. Nah, you don’t go against the handbook.

PreNicktion: Arkansas
Wisdometer: 5.0
Record Guesser: Arkansas (7-5, 7-4), East Carolina (8-4, 9-4)

Valero Alamo Bowl, Jan. 2, 6:00 pm, San Antonio, ESPN

Michigan State vs. Texas Tech
Hey, the Pac-10 gets this game next year. Why, that means they’ll have two games on January 1 or later. Aren’t we just getting all big time.

PreNicktion: Texas Tech
Wisdometer: 2.7
Record Guesser: Michigan State (8-4, 6-6), Texas Tech (8-4, 8-4)

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, Jan. 4, 5:00 pm, Glendale, Fox

Boise State vs. TCU
BCS Bowl Rep: Okay, TCU and Boise, you’re in. You’ll play each other. It’ll be great. Welcome to the BCS!
Boise and TCU: You’re kidding, right? You’re just slapping lipstick on the Poinsettia Bowl.
BCS Bowl Rep, smiling and patting the two teams on the back: You’re welcome fellas. We’re all mighty happy to have ya’!
Boise, TCU and everyone else: F— you, BCS. F— you!

PreNicktion: TCU
Wisdometer: 8.9
Record Guesser: Boise State (12-0, 13-0), TCU (12-0, 12-0)

FedEx Orange Bowl, Jan. 5, 5:00 pm, Miami, Fox

Iowa vs. Georgia Tech
Oh, the Orange Bowl, that’s right! Almost forgot. Wait, why did I remember? Going to try and forget again.

PreNicktion: Georgia Tech (again, don’t pick the Big Televen)
Wisdometer: 7.8
Record Guesser: Iowa (10-2, 10-2), Georgia Tech (10-2, 11-2)

GMAC Bowl, Jan. 6, 4:00 pm, Mobile, ESPN

Central Michigan vs. Troy
If GMAC is too big to fail according to the government, then what about the bowl game? Too small to notice? If this game fails to meet ratings and attendance expectations, is there a bailout?

PreNicktion: Central Michigan
Wisdometer: 2.7
Record Guesser: Central Michigan (10-2, 11-2), Troy (9-3, 9-3)

Citi BCS National Championship Game, Jan. 7, 5:00 pm, Pasadena, ABC

Texas vs. Alabama
Texas, you’re a sham. You played a total of two ranked teams and only one of those was in the regular season. You will get beat, handily. Mack Brown, I find you to be obnoxious and arrogant and I really hope you get whacked. Mark Ingram, thanks for your humble and gracious Heisman acceptance speech. You still stole it from Toby Gerhart, but way to keep it classy.

PreNicktion: Alabama
Wisdometer: 9.6
Record Guesser: Texas (13-0, 13-0), Alabama (13-0, 13-0)

Anyway, 34 bowl games await starting on December 19th with Fresno State and Wyoming in the prestigious and sponsor-free New Mexico Bowl. Can you pick the winner for that and the other 33? Take a shot by joining the “Off The Pond” group on ESPN.com.

It’s free to sign up and easy to do. Simply choose the winner for all 34 games and rank each by your level of confidence in the result you’ve picked. The one and only requirement is that you pick Oregon. Otherwise, you’re just shaming yourself.

http://games.espn.go.com/bowlmania/en/group?groupID=18897&entryID=285352

Good luck!