(UCLA vs. Washington)

WOTB: That’s that ref that always calls fouls on everyone.
OTP: Okay, sure.
Head official Jay Stricherz: There are two fouls on the play.
WOTB: See, I told you. He’s always calling fouls!

OTP Post-thought: She’s become way too smart about this stuff. Washington-UCLA had 15 accepted penalties and then I saw someone on Twitter mention that Stricherz crew throws a lot of flags. Why don’t I know these things?

(Switch to ESPNU, Alabama blocks a punt)

WOTB: We haven’t done that in years! When’s the last time we blocked a punt? We used to block punts all the time, guaranteed. Who was that? Who used to block all those punts?
OTP: Keith Lewis?
WOTB: I miss those days
OTP: Why?
WOTB: Because we blocked punts it was fun
OTP: But we lost a lot.

(Back to ESPN, Jake Locker)

WOTB: How come Darron Thomas is such a better quarterback than him?

WOTB: I miss football.
OTP: What do you mean?
WOTB: It’s gonna’ be gone soon.
OTP: Yeah, there’s only two games left
WOTB: No, there’s three.
OTP: Oh, well yeah (again, smarter than me)

(Over to ESPNU for some Alabama)

WOTB: Hey, he shoved him after the fact. You can’t shove somebody after they lost the ball! That’s just mean. I hate you Alabama.

(Over to Washington game, ESPN showing shot of a fan in the crowd holding a sign)

WOTB: I give Jake a 10? You’d give him a (CENSORED!), that’s what you’d do.
OTP: Haha, can I put that on the record?
WOTB: No.
OTP: Why not?

(ESPNU, Georgia State scores)

OTP: Look at that.
WOTB: They scored! Aw, that makes me feel good about life.

(ESPN, more good Pac-10 football)

OTP: I think Washington State’s going to beat Washington
WOTB: In the Apple Cup! Why would you call something an Apple Cup? Because they live in Apple state? Why wouldn’t ours be, like, the Beaver Cup? Why’d they choose Civil War?That’s much cooler.
OTP: I don’t know that answer.
WOTB: You should do a blog about that.

Easily impressed.

OTP: Nice throw Jake. Way to make your receiver dive for it on a simple out route.
Jesse Palmer: It is really impressive watching Jake Locker throw.
WOTB: Why? Why is he so impressive, I don’t understand. Because he has a broken rib, is that why? So if Darron Thomas went and got a broken rib, then it would be impressive to watch him throw interceptions? What is their obsession?

(ESPN shows graphic with Mel Kiper’s draft projection for Jake Locker)

OTP: There it is! 17th!
WOTB: We won? What? I was looking at the Oregon thing on the ticker.
OTP: What Oregon thing?
WOTB: Oregon clinched the…
OTP: Oh no, I was looking at the people for the NFL draft.
WOTB: Oh, 17th really? Oregon clinches Pac-10 with Stanford loss. Did you read that?
OTP: I already knew that.
WOTB: Well, I didn’t know that! Did you put it on your blog? No! Did you put it on your Twitter? No! Why? Because you don’t inform anyone of anything.
OTP: Hahahah, I just got served.
WOTB: Basically.

Satisfied WOTB?

WOTB: Why wouldn’t that be a huge, like, banner that says Oregon clinches Pac-10 title? Instead all you do is Click Tales with a kitty and a duck. Aw, the kitty and the duck is sooo cute. You should have put a banner on them that said Oregon clinches Pac-10 title because the duck’s riding the cat in celebration.
OTP: Only in your world does a duck ride a cat in celebration.
WOTB: Why else would a duck ride a cat?
WOTB: Seriously, this guys’ gonna’ go 17th in the draft. He has broken ribs, he can’t complete a pass and he already has an interception before a touchdown.
WOTB: Why are you laughing at me?
OTP: Because it’s hilarious and all true.

(Incompletion)

WOTB: Another awesome pass by Jake Locker.

(UW lining up for kick)

WOTB: He’s not gonna’ make that shit.
OTP: Hahah what do you got against the kicker?
WOTB: <sarcasm>Really, cause he just made that? </sarcasm>
OTP: He wasn’t even long enough.
WOTB: I know. That’s what I was saying. There was no way he’s gonna’ make that.

WOTB: Do you think Nueheisel’s gonna’ get canned?
OTP: Nah, I think they’ll give him one more year.
WOTB: So where’s Bellotti gonna’ go?
OTP: Not sure. He’s not going to Colorado, though.
WOTB: That’s what you said on your click link. But I didn’t click it. You know what you should do. This is genius. You know how people get paid if people click, like, certain ads or whatever. You should make the most ridiculous saying. Like LaMichael found snuggling with Cam Newton or something crazy like that and link it to somewhere you get paid to link things. So people click on this link, they think it’s this awesome story and they get sent to…everytime someone clicks on it, you get paid!
OTP: How does that work for future credibility?
WOTB: It doesn’t. You should do it on April Fools’ Day. Then it doesn’t count. People can’t be mad at you.
OTP: Duly noted.

(UCLA throws an interception)

OTP: Oh look, there’s another good quarterback.
WOTB: At least he’s a backup! At least he’s not rated to go 17th in the draft!

(Shifting to UW’s blackout)

OTP: I think blackout’s are stupid.
WOTB: We did a blackout.
OTP: They were saying we should have done one for Black Friday.
WOTB: I know, I retweeted that. It wasn’t one of yours because, once again, I don’t find anything you say interesting.
OTP: Don’t be hatin’ on the tweeps.
WOTB: That makes no sense. That would be the people you talk to on Twitter. I wasn’t hatin’ on tweeps. Your tweets.
OTP: You hate on me, you hate on the Tweeps. We roll together.
WOTB: I am not married to you. Officially divorced. You are my Tony Parker.
OTP: Yeah, except I didn’t get to…
WOTB: You didn’t sext with my co-worker’s wife?
OTP: Exactly. I’m just saying if you’re gonna’ call me Tony Parker I should get to at least be him first.
WOTB: Go ahead, I’d like to see that. You’d have no idea what to do. That would be hilarious.

(Flip to halftime show on ESPNU, talking about Stanford)

WOTB: They said earlier we clinched with the Stanford loss, but they didn’t lose.
OTP: They play on Saturday.
WOTB: Oh, so we haven’t clinched yet?
OTP: No.
WOTB: Oh, well, that didn’t say “if.” It said Oregon wins the Pac-10 with a Stanford loss. That made no sense. That was confusing to someone like me.
WOTB: We don’t want Stanford to lose, right?
OTP: I want them to win. I’m not worried about winning the Pac-10. We just need to win one of two games to do that.
WOTB: I don’t care if we win the Pac-10.
OTP: Exactly.
WOTB: If we lose, it’s just going to make me pissed anyway so winning the Pac-10 isn’t going to make it any better.

If you ban Four Loko, might as well tell the doctuh to hit the sack.

OTP: Where’s Doctuh Lou?
WOTB: How does he stay up so late?
OTP: That’s what I always wonder.
WOTB: Like, for reals, because I would be asleep and he’s way older than I am. I’m kinda’ impressed.
OTP: I’m impressed too.
WOTB: I wonder if he drinks. I wonder what he drinks.
OTP: You think he drinks Four Loko?
WOTB: No, because he would be dead if he drinks Four Loko.
OTP: He’s old, maybe that’s what keeps him up.
WOTB: No.

/More rambling observations follow
//No way to logically end this
///Finish on Dr. Lou and Four Loko, FTW!

On the Season
Straight Up: 50-13
Against the Spread: 30-27

Posted spreads are from sportsbook.com at time of publishing.

UCLA @ Washington (Thu., ESPN, 5:00 p.m.)
So this is what the Pac-10 gets to put on display for the nation on Thursday night? Should turn out well. The first go-round with UCLA was a real treat.

Don’t cry for ESPN, though. They are the masters of storyline creation. Here’s what you’ll hear all game:

(1) Rick Neuheisel used to coach at Washington
(2) Jake Locker had an injury
(3) Jake Locker should have gone pro last year
(4) Jake Locker is still a first round talent
(5) Craig James: “Boise can just stuff itself inside a tool shed”
(6) Jesse Palmer: “Do you like my pink tie?”
(7) Reece Davis: “Can I go back to the studio?”

Straight Up: Washington
ATS: Washington -2

*I know, I complain about all the fake injury talk and then just feed right into it. I’m weak and have no moral center.

Straight Up: Stanford
ATS: California +6.5

It doesn’t make any sense to me, but I’m picking Oregon State. Wait, really? I have to think about this. Vegas is really screwing with my head here. There is no way the Beavers should win. None. Aaaahhh! This is why Vegas has nice, tall buildings. I’m not taking the bait.

Straight Up: Oregon State
ATS: Oregon State +3.5

This week’s SearchBag gets turned over to the great fans of the Washington Huskies*. They searched, I answer.

*While it may seem based on the locations of these searches, they couldn’t possibly all be Huskies, I can assure you they are. Assure means the same thing as assume, right?

• just how cool is offthepond (Google Search in Mililani, HI)

Stop it. You’re just trying to butter me up so I’ll take it easy on you.

(pst, hey, it’s working! That’s, like, the best search anyone’s ever done.)

• washington oregon football rivalry (Google Search in Mukilteo, WA)

ri-val [rahy-vuhl] -noun
a person or thing that is in a position to dispute another’s preeminence or superiority

Key phrase is “in a position.” Does Oregon-Washington really sound like a rivalry to you?

• what to do before oregon duck football game (Google Search in Honolulu, HI)

Yeah, that guy. Go say hi.

Have I got just the thing for you! From 10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., you can go hang with Kenny Wheaton. Oh, don’t act like you forgot. He’s doing an SI Chalk Talk and autograph session (compliments of Nissan..hey PR guy, I put it in!). You can do the same thing with Joey Harrington at 9:00 a.m. Just cruise on over to PK Park and check it out.

• is everyone wearing costumes (Google Search in Forest Hill, MD)

Um, no? Perhaps if the game was played last weekend, but…no, I…I don’t believe so.

• chip kelly oregon ducks does he say what color to wear for fans (Google Search in Corvallis, OR)

Ok, yes, that is true. He wants everyone to wear yellow. It does NOT have to be a costume. And I know what your next question is, so let me just say no, you can’t substitute gold.

• “dress up as each other” (Google Search in Manchester, England)

Haha, clever, but no. You have to wear your purple and take this beating like you wanted it. Are we good on attire? Can we move on?

• jeff maehl nude (Google Search in Denham Springs, LA and Medfield, MA)

Just because I ask for a question that doesn’t have to do with clothing doesn’t mean you need to be a sarcastic jackass. And if both of you are being serious, ewwwww.

• who is chip kelly (Google Search in Eugene, OR)

You haven’t heard? He’s the Oregon coach that has the Ducks ranked No. 1 in the country. He took ‘em to a Rose Bowl in his first year. He beat the Huskies 43-19 in his first attempt.

• chip kelly contract (Google Search in Dover, DE)

Haha, I see you are convinced. Sorry, we locked that up for another six years. Enjoy “Sark Attack.”

• jake locker (Google Search in Bremerton, WA)

Kind of sums it up, doesn't it?

Oooh,  I didn’t think you were going to bring that up. Didn’t really work out as planned did it? It just feels mean to joke about the guy anymore. You’ve suffered enough.

• chip kelly secrets (Google Search in Newburgh, IN)

I’m not really at liberty to say.

• flomax competitor (Google Search in Scarborough, Ontario, Canada)

God, I HATE spammers! They infect everything. Can we get back to SearchBag, please?

• whats wrong with kenjon barner (Yahoo Search in Riverside, CA)

Actually, nothing. He’s going to play. I guess Satuday’s not sounding any better, huh?

• we are proven (Google Search in Auburn, WA)

I’ll take “things that were true in 1991″ for a thousand.

• jeff fisher thinks ducks could score in nfl (Google Search in White Plains, NY)

Yeah, I heard that, too. And you know what? It sounds like a compliment, but the offense is so good, it’s actually quite insulting.

Just try to keep it under 60 and you’ll have your moral victory.

• u of o football like playing the “jetsons” (Google Search in Seattle, WA)

I’m still not exactly sure what that means. I get the whole space age, future-life thing, but wouldn’t the Jetsons kind of suck at football? Honestly, a robot, a dog, Judy. And George is like a toothpick. They resemble the Huskies more than the Ducks.

• i love my ducks (Google Search in Gretna, LA)

Figured you’d come around. Enjoy the game.

The blog wishes the Huskies luck this weekend and appreciates the search effort. Even Huskies can follow Off The Pond on Twitter. Equal opportunity followship is the policy around here. Just don’t be offended when I mock thee….because I will.

Something's wrong. I...I feel nothing.

The blog is drowning in apathetic sorrow over the boredom felt toward Oregon vs. Washington. But worry not, there are others who will deliver you a steaming pile of Dawg hate. Here’s the linkage…

• With Cameron Newton under investigation by the NCAA, LaMichael James Heisman campaign gets a boost. The blog got it’s joke in but, despite homerific tendencies, prefers to see Newton on the field. Auburn has known since July and no wrongdoing has actually been alleged toward the star quarterback.
• Of course, any potential downfall of another can be a reminder to keep your own house clean. Never mind the NCAA hypocrisy behind selling the crap out of jerseys featuring specific player numbers. A No. 21 jersey? Oh, that could be anyone. That’ll be $45.99 please.
• Addicted to Quack is stepping up and properly hating the Huskies. I’m too indifferent, but know some good hatin’ when I see it.
• Wow! Someone really went to a lot of trouble to hate the Huskies with an entire website devoted to the topic. I miss this rivalry.
• I feel like my Oregon fandom could be questioned right now so I dug through my archives to prove I have properly hated in the past. Here’s a post detailing how historically bad Washington is right now. And I’ll always have Jake Locker. There’s probably more, but I got bored again.
• Ken Goe has a nice piece on Kenjon Barner who clearly means more to this team than on-field performance.
• I should have linked this yesterday. Bud Withers, who used to cover the Ducks, tries to come to grips with No. 1 Oregon. He has some good stories from the days where any ranking would have been celebrated. The blog has always been foggy on pre-1994 years, but I’ve always said, 13 is the age your memory really starts to crystallize.
• What’s that the kids are using these days? SMH. Yeah, I’m SMH over this John Canzano piece about crazy Duck and Beaver fans. First thing I thought of was Lee “Hacksaw” Hamilton. “React to Me!” Okay, I did and it comes with a link. Journalism wins. For what it’s worth, I’ve probably gone trolling myself a few times, so I’m aware of the hypocrisy.
• Just about everybody is chiming in on the Oregon offense this week. Here’s another perspective. Ducks must have some good SEO mojo rolling right now.
• I like the idea of ending each link roundup on a video so let’s keep that going. It comes from the oregonsportsnet YouTube channel. I’m still trying to figure out what just happened but I was entertained.

If they keep losing, I keep doing the picture, simple as that. For God's sake, win 7 games and let us move on already!

When did the rivalry die for you? Was it 31-6? How about 55-34? 43-19? Oh, don’t tell me. You’re one of those people still insisting you despise the Huskies. Not silly-haha hate, but pure, unadulterated loathing that has your blood boiling at the mention of the color purple.

You probably like to kick dead kittens too, huh?

Wanna’ know how I came to the conclusion the rivalry is dead? I’ve spent the last four “Husky weeks” on this blog openly rooting for Washington to play better football.

That’s perverse, but what do you want from me? I miss launching urine bags at people wearing a malamute-adorned sweater. Doing it now just seems rude.

Don’t get me wrong. The rivalry is only dead in the sense your grass won’t grow in the middle of winter. The seed’s still there and the thing has the ability to sprout up faster than you can say “Ted Bundy was a Husky.”

It’ll never happen, though, unless Washington starts winning. No, not those 5-7 “we’re back” seasons. I’m talking about real winning, the kind that makes a Duck fan go into the game thinking, “We could lose today.” The Huskies haven’t been close to that since the redacted years of modern football history, 2002 and 2003.

We’ll go on joking about Jake Locker, laughing at the bad coaching and mocking general ineptitude that is so inept you’re almost impressed with the efficiency at which it operates.

And we’ll do it as long as we have to, Washington. We’re a patient bunch.

But don’t tell me it’s the same thing. It’s not 2000 when a top five Husky team went down at Autzen Stadium. It’s not 1994 when Kenny Wheaton scored. It’s not 1997 when Pat Johnson silenced Husky Stadium with a game-winning play so good, they just call it “The Catch.”

Plain and simple, it just ain’t the same. And so we go on, failing to belligerently berate old ladies in purple for another year. Woe is the rivalry.

• Rewinding to USC, Trojan cornerback Shareece Wright told LaMichael James after a touchdown that he didn’t want James scoring on his field anymore. And it worked. Oregon didn’t score another point, stuck on 53 for the rest of the game. The execution came a little late, but good mental note for next time.
• Coaches are going to run the Oregon offense through the Xerox machine this summer to varying results. But waiting is for suckers and Urban Meyer wants to get Florida up to speed now. It should be fun to watch Meyer transform his offense from “unable to snap the ball” in week one to “Oregon” by week 10. In an unrelated note, OTP likes what ESPN is doing with all its content and traffic. Starting now, I’m going to do that. What’s that you say? Not really sure, but I’m gonna’ do it.
• You probably heard Jake Locker won’t play against Oregon. But did you know that it’s inconsequential to the impending outcome? You did? Oh.
• Kenjon Barner is getting closer but his return is still unknown. Reports from practice this morning say he’s doing more today and could possibly play Saturday.
• Oregon sure has been lucky with injuries this ye– OH DEAR GOD NOW YOU’VE DONE IT! Those rascally beat writers and their reporting of facts are tempting fate as Rob Moseley writes about how healthy the Ducks have been.
• Jeff Maehl’s season and career are starting to reach elite levels. One more touchdown, and Maehl ties a single season record.
• Among many notes in Moseley’s Monday notebook is that in practice, the UO offense was running plays faster than he’s ever seen. Still too slow as far as Kelly’s concerned.
• Matt Smith, who hosts an L.A. radio show that is nationally syndicated, writes that Trojan fans should think twice about rooting for too much Oregon success. Tuning in on the AM dial, I’d have to say the USC types down here are all about Oregon winning out. And they seem conciliatory toward the Ducks as the new Pac-10 power.
• Appreciate the lack of subtlety here. “Chip Kelly is God.” He must be a really good football coach in that case (he is).
• And finally, a video of the Duck being awesome courtesy of the incomparable YouTube channel of keeerrrttt1.

1. Chip’s message gets through so well, even I stay composed. In the past, Oregon’s start to the 2nd half would have ended with me in a court-appointed anger management class. Instead, I just smiled, kicked back and waited for the inevitable. The point I’m trying to make isn’t about me, but that there’s literally nothing to worry about with this team. Give ‘em four quarters and eventually, it’s game over.

2. Missing: large male of African American descent. Approximately 18-22 years old. Last seen wandering streets near USC campus in a deranged state. Appeared exhausted. Was overheard muttering “Only two players, only two players, only two players, only two players, only two players.” Call 1 (800) WEARESC if you see him. Do not approach. He does not respect you.

3. Question: If LaMichael James goes for 236 yards against a top 40 rush defense, what does that mean going forward against a sub-100 unit? Answer: They’re probably going to have to put it down. Sad, but this day comes for every Dawg eventually.

Oh, and Heisman voters, please save room on your ballot that’s NOT DUE UNTIL AFTER ALL GAMES ARE PLAYED. Here me Bo Jackson?

4. Oregon won’t face a more spirited effort the rest of the season. USC sold out to win this game. Players called it their Super Bowl and desperately wanted to defend what was left of the Trojans alpha dog status. If there was a game Oregon could lose on the sheer desire and motivation of its opponent, this was it.

That’s not to denigrate the effort of any future opponent but just to say beating Oregon meant A TON to USC.

5. Does the trash-talking team ever win? I would like to present no evidence whatsoever but make the claim the more you talk before a game, the less likely you are to win. It’s not because it provides extra motivation, but because the better team tends to keep its mouth shut. Oregon has been on the other side of this so I’m not coming down on USC here.

6. Save some space for Talmadge Jackson III praise. Jackson seemed to have a great game. It’s easy to miss some things watching on TV, but my general impression was positive. Like you, I’ve made a joke or two about Jackson’s coverage before and I think it’s only fair to point out when he does well. Chip Kelly seems to confirm this having said it was Jackson’s best game of the year.

7. Teams are going to have to stop keying on James. Darron Thomas is lighting up defenses. In a conference with Andrew Luck, Matt Barkley, Jake Locker and Nick Foles, Thomas currently is the second highest-rated QB. So what’s the result when teams devote more resources to stopping the pass? No idea. What could possibly happen? Are there actually more points and yards available in the course of a game?

Sniff, sniff…mmm, that’s the delicious aroma of arrogance wafting through the afternoon air.

Just gotta' hold it for six games, people. Six long, excruciating weeks of football.

1. Oregon Ducks. I’ve only hyperventilated like six times since the Ducks rose to the top of the human polls. I find paper bags to be overrated. All I do is blow holes right through them.

Ok, the arrogance in the opening paragraph was fake. I’m scared shitless right now.

2. Stanford Cardinal. Stanford doesn’t have the benefit of Mad Hatter magic, but it should be noted that the Cardinal’s current BCS ranking of 12 is where LSU started in 2007 before making and winning the BCS title game.

More likely, though, is a Rose Bowl with Oregon playing in Glendale. Oh wait, Boise gets that slot. Ah, BCS.

3. Arizona Wildcats. We’re getting closer to what feels like a true top three in this conference. USC appears to have some fight left and you never know with OSU, but my bet’s on these three.

4. USC Trojans. That was urine running down my leg when USC beat Cal 48-14. With what’s at stake, every small thing affects me in disproportionate ways.

5. Washington Huskies. Heisman! Yes! Five touchdowns, he passes, he runs, he is JAKE LOCKER!! Those three turnovers totally don’t matter. On a serious note, Washington looks like Oregon’s least difficult game remaining. Until I let the next week of games wildly swing my opinion.

6. Oregon State Beavers. I’m still surprised OSU lost to Washington. Ryan Katz just seemed to fall apart and I don’t think that was a James Rodgers issue. Nonetheless, I’m satisfied. Losing by 1 while getting a point and a half on the cover is a win in my book.

7. Arizona State Sun Devils. I like ASU to get six wins, but seven could be tough and that’s what they need for bowl eligibility due to having played two FCS teams this season.

8. Cal Bears/UCLA Bruins. I figured out how Cal’s athletic department can save money. Just have the UC system fold these two football departments together and run one operation. They’re already the same thing, able to win or lose by 50 on any given weekend.

10. Washington State Cougars. Without a doubt, the Cougars are getting better. They just played two tough games against ranked opponents. They might get a win. They also might not, but that wouldn’t mean it’s not getting better. And rather than going back and redoing those sentences, I’m just going to celebrate my ability to start each of them with the word “they.”

Image courtesy of http://www.marktoon.co.uk/people.htm (with an obvious personal alteration).

It’s not mail, it’s visitor searches. Google, Yahoo, Bing… they all come from somewhere.

• is oregon off this week? (Google Search in Elk Grove Village, Illinois)

Yeah, they are. Totally depressing, isn’t it? I’m considering spending some time outdoors, maybe do a nature walk and follow it up with a seminar entitled “I Don’t Care if Oregon’s Not Playing. I’m Still Watching Football All Day.”

• cliff harris cheese nachos (Google Search in Eugene, OR)

Bars of Eugene, listen up. This here is your next big thing. Rennies, you have first shot. Now, Cliff can’t reap the proceeds, so I’ll be accepting royalties on his behalf.

• choice after 2 puc (Google Search in Mangalore, Karnataka, India)

I don’t know what puc is, so I’m assuming this is a typo. As far as your choice after 2 Pac, a quick Google search of “Who is the next 2 Pac” turns up a few people. T.I., Young Jeezy, 50 Cent and, wow, Soulja Boy.

After seeing those depressing choices, Off The Pond’s hip hop department has concluded that, in fact, no one can be the next 2 Pac.

• how to watch the comcast oregon game without comcast (Google Search in Beaverton, OR)

Uh, go get Comcast?

• can you watch oregon ducks in 3d without 3d tv? (Google Search in Portland, OR)

Okay, who’s asking these questions?

• no problems, just opportunity (Google Search in Taizhou, Zhejiang, China)

I certainly disagree. My lack of Twitter followers is a problem. I suppose you could call it a growth opportunity.

• gary wichard jake locker (Google Search in New York, NY)

See, I knew it! I mentioned earlier this week that Mel Kiper Jr.’s insistence that Locker is still a first round draft pick acts as proof that Purple Jesus is a Gary Wichard client-to-be. And now I have this Google search to prove it. That is journalism my friends.

(I know what you’re thinking and no, I didn’t make that search when I was in New York last Monday.)

• oregon ducks alumni san diego (Google Search in San Diego, CA)

I totally am! You can follow the SD chapter on Facebook.

• oregon duck sports paint jobs (Bing Search in Tualatin, OR)

Alas, I searched far and wide for something cool. I had hoped to find a house painted in resplendent green, yellow, steel, black and white with a touch of chrome, but no go.

The best paint job I found was the now ubiquitous Horizon airplane.

No more SearchBag, people. Frankly, that was a poor effort in Googling this week. You need to Google harder next time. And follow Off The Pond on Twitter, dammit! Please?

• My – and your – favorite quote machine nails it again. Cliff Harris calls himself the “cheese on top of the nachos” while speaking to the Fresno Bee. Keep ‘em coming.
• Always good to see an NFL head coach wearing an “I Love My Ducks” t-shirt. That’s what you get for losing a bet.
• Good job by Rob Moseley getting more detail on how the UO generally handles a concussion. Chip Kelly isn’t the only possible source for a story.
• Do I have to be the one to say it? If Mel Kiper Jr. insists that Jake Locker is still a first round draft pick, isn’t it obvious that Locker is already a Gary Wichard client (you know, one of the seedy guys from the SI agent story)?
• Yeah, that makes sense. Oregon’s 3rd string cornerback has been added to the Chuck Bednarik Award watch list that names the nation’s top defensive player.
• For those of you who like to think critically about sports journalism, here’s an interesting read from Smart Football that ends with this: “…maybe we don’t get the high-brow sports coverage we think we want, because, instead, we simply get the sports coverage we deserve.”*
• Smart Football tends to cover football more than journalism, though, and its journey into the zone read of the defensive tackle is something that should be of great interest to Oregon fans.
• Dr. Saturday questions whether any team actually controls its own destiny. Technically, it’s impossible to do so. The number of undefeated teams at the end of a season can be plentiful and at that point, it’s a matter of popularity.
• 45 teams have beaten a team ranked No. 1. Oregon is not one of them, of course, but what is the highest ranked team the Ducks have beaten? I can think of examples of wins over a team ranked third (Washington and/or UCLA in 2000, Michigan in 2003), but have no recollection of them ever beating a No. 2.
• I’m shaking my head in disbelief, but what the hell, teach me how to Duckie. I prefer this next link, though, since an ice cream truck puts the Dougie where it belongs.

Today’s “Not Sports” Link: 15+ Ways to Use a Pumpkin

*OTP’s high brow coverage of the Pac-10 and Oregon Ducks will continue a little later today with this year’s Flomax Half-Season Awards. Yay!