The lack of comprehension in Boise for the point I was trying to get across yesterday just depresses me. You just can't use sarcasm anymore (yeah, that was sarcasm, too).

Before I jump into the links today, I have a quick administrative note going back to the Boise post yesterday.

(1) Clearly, the state of Idaho had to cut sarcasm from all levels of the educational system. I’m beside myself with grief over the  lack of comprehension (that’s sarcasm…sorta’).

(2) I’d prefer to keep personal attacks out of the comments. I’m pretty short on rules around here. Be clever, be factual, be a liar, make a joke, be serious, use words the FCC censors…I don’t really care. All I ask is that it’s respectful and fun. I have no desire to become the OregonLive of San Diego-based Duck football blogs (hey, it’s a niche).

Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there. Thanks to everyone for reading and go ducks!

P.S. It is entirely acceptable to call me a d-bag. I appreciate the input from “Oregon Sucks” and will take that under consideration (sigh…yep, sarcasm).

• We’re leading off today with a San Diego high school kid who’s got enough heart for an entire team.
• The University of Oregon has officially endorsed that all fans wear a like color. In this case, yellow. It has a better chance of working than black, but I’m still skeptical. Hope it does well.
• Kelly won’t make any definitive declarations, but Oregon is looking to be without three defenseive starters on Thursday. Kenjon Barner is also expected to sit.
• One of those injuries (Anthony Gildon) is going to give Cliff Harris his first start. John Hunt profiled Harris and, like anything else involving “Kash” it was pure entertainment.
• It took a bit to get interesting, but the second half of this Chip Kelly Q&A at rivals.com has some good stuff on topics such as getting hired, agents, Boise State (them again) and a few other things.
• Can’t remember how I ended up on this site, but The College Football Belt Championship is a great concept. It’s basically akin to holding the belt in boxing. Beat a champ, you are the champ. Sadly, Oregon has never held the belt themselves.
• Jeff Maehl is profiled in an AP article. I haven’t thought much about the MaehlMan this year so I checked his stats. 453 yards and 5 TDs. He has a legit shot at 1,000 yards and 10 TDs. Can’t remember the last time an Oregon receiver was that productive.
• Perhaps we have been a little harsh on Pac-10 officiating. Apparently, fans everywhere are ref-averse. Imagine that.
• Thursday night’s UCLA game will be in 3D and goducks.com dives in to the details. I’m waiting for the technology to eliminate the need for glasses. Well, that and a few thousand dollars.
• Doing my civic duty here and letting everyone know that transportation will be a bit different Thursday night. You’ve been warned
• Forgot to link a nice piece on Nate Costa yesterday who is a consummate professional. Some additional details are provided in Ken Goe’s rundown.
• Kevin Prince is still questionable for UCLA. If he can’t go that means the Bruins offense goes from less-than-mediocre to just plain bad.

The only way you are watching Oregon-WSU this week is if you can find Pullman on a map and make the drive. It's on there, I swear. You just have to look really hard.

1. Oregon Ducks. I found Ninkasi’s Total Domination IPA here in San Diego. Bought that up for the Stanford game. Safe to say I’ll never go another Saturday without it.

2. Stanford Cardinal. Just because you lose to a better team doesn’t mean you stopped being second best. Looking forward to seeing these guys against Arizona and Oregon State. USC is toast next week.

3. Arizona Wildcats. Looking at the schedule, this looks like “Next Man Up” to challenge Oregon. But there’s like these five other games first so we should probably still play those.

4. Oregon State Beavers. The Beavers go on the road to Arizona this week. Seeing that the Wildcats are now ninth in the AP Poll, OSU will have played three top ten opponents in its first five games. All of them on the road. That’s insane. Maybe they’re good, maybe not. If they’d just win one of these, it would be a lot easier to tell.

5. UCLA Bruins. Who knew the difference between beating Texas on the road and losing to Washington State at home was Kevin Prince. What? UCLA won 42-28? I don’t know who you’re trying to kid, but that score against Wazzu is a loss. End of story.

6. USC Trojans. F—ing Washington! Let’s say someone does this wacky 12 team parlay every week. Let’s also say its a little $2 bet that can pay hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars. And let’s say on this particular weekend, it was going to pay $176. Now imagine the first 11 are all winners including one SEC game that was a loss until the refs did some math. Picture in the 12th game, the team picked to win is ahead with a couple minutes left. Now imagine that team loses on a last second field goal. Yep, eff you Washington.

7. Arizona State Sun Devils. Three losses now by a total of 15 points. Best 2-3 team in the country. So they got that going for them.

8. Washington Huskies. Like I said, screw you Washington.

9. Cal Bears. Not much to report here on the heels of a bye week. Not exactly sure you can justify them any higher than this.

10. Washington State Cougars. Let me sum up the current state of Washington State football. They have chosen to NOT allow Saturday’s game with Oregon to be televised. In other words, the product is so bad, they don’t want people to see it.

Image courtesy of http://www.marktoon.co.uk/people.htm (with an obvious personal alteration).

Revenge is a necessary and perfectly natural thing.

1. Oregon Ducks. So everyone’s a Stanford fan now, huh? Put Stanford number one. Stanford’s got Jim Harbaugh and Stanford plays a man’s game. Stanford is the best team in the Pac-10. Yeah? Prove it.

2. Stanford Cardinal. Handles an FCS team. Clobbers UCLA. Smacks down Wake Forest. Stifles Notre Dame. Okay, decent job so far. Prove you can win AT Oregon. Prove it, Harbaugh.

3. Arizona Wildcats. When you subtract penalty yardage, a total of 306 yards were gained between Cal and Arizona. And in case you thought maybe there was some kicking game excitement in place of offense, there were a total of three returns on 11 punts. And three missed field goals. Anybody able to burn a DVD and send it to me? Would love to not watch that.

4. USC Trojans. For the first time all year, USC got a rankings boost after a win. Lane Kiffin almost smiled, but thought better of it and immediately declared, “Everything sucks.”

5. UCLA Bruins. Let’s play a little game called “Here’s a Fact, Now You Tell Me What You Think Happened.” I know, it’s pretty catchy.

Fact: Kevin Prince was 5-8 passing for 27 yards on the road at Texas

Your Answer: “Uh, well, Texas probably creamed ‘em, right?”

One would think, but no, that is false. The answer we were looking for is: “UCLA steamrolled No.  7 Texas in spite of whatever that is the Bruins are calling a passing game.”

6. Arizona State Sun Devils. Yep, that’s a Dennis Erickson team alright. Fast, talented and mostly insane. I could be talking just about you Vontaze Burfict, but I’m sure you’re not the only one.

7. Oregon State Beavers. Beavs, we need to have a talk. It hurts to hear, but has to be said. You gotta’ start winning some September games. I know, I know, you have to play tough teams and usually on the road because they won’t give the return game. I get that, I do. But eventually, you just gotta’ win a couple and stop making excuses.

8. Cal Bears. Tell me if this is true or not. I heard Cal was pumped after losing to Arizona because the team could continue to keep expectations low and hold out hope for a chance to win the next game.

9. Washington Huskies. It was a bye week in Montlake as Steve Sarkisian prepares for USC. Coach isn’t taking the game lightly as he knows one win will positively swing his emotional fan base back from its last known position next to the edge of a very high cliff.

10. Washington State Cougars. Back in the cellar with you, Cougs. I gave you one week of symbolic freedom, but this is where you belong. It’s okay, some people prefer the comforts of repetition. Not everyone is cut out for the wild swings of day to day life. Embrace your role and do it with pride.

Image courtesy of http://www.marktoon.co.uk/people.htm (with an obvious personal alteration).

FOTB Prediction: Green helmet, white jersey, green pants white shoes. You can simulate this combination here

While some people I know will be witnessing a wedding Saturday, I for one, will be in Pasadena, land of the best tailgating in the Pac-10 (note: haven’t been to UW, UA or Stanford).

You just can’t beat hanging out on the grassy country club fairways that serve as the parking lot for the hallowed Rose Bowl.

In doing so, I’ll be making my first appearance at the stadium in support of the Ducks (believe it or not, the first two were for Oregon State).

I promised the UCLA folk I’ll be hanging out with that I will wear a vintage green body suit, complete with steel-colored leg warmers, chrome mittens and a yellowish top hat. And if you don’t end up spotting me in such garb, well, blame Wal-Mart for a lack of inventory.

Time to get a pick right FOTB.

While a bit tepid in picking Oregon due to injuries, it’s hard to go against the dominance they have displayed in the past two weeks. I mean, 94-9. Really? You’d have to be crazy to pick against a team putting up those kind of numbers.

UCLA will welcome back starting quarterback Kevin Prince and while that seems to be cause for celebration in Westwood, it’s hard to believe that’s going to cure the Bruins offensive woes. Only Washington State has sported a more feeble offense this season. Lucky for Oregon because they’ll be breaking in sophomore Anthony Gildon, yet another starting cornerback at the injury-plagued position.

Of course, there is the matter of quarterback for the Ducks. Nate Costa will get his first collegiate start against the conference’s second best scoring defense in a league that is surprisingly stout on the “championship” side of the ball this year.

Costa throws a sharp ball, though, and you have to imagine a guy with his resiliency won’t be overwhelmed by the moment.

This isn’t 2007 when Oregon was shutout trying everything short of Adam Sandler at quarterback (get it, water boy? Oh, give me a break, you try being funny). Costa is a legitimate option that, if not for a third knee injury in 2008, would possibly be an experienced veteran starter by now.

While Oregon probably won’t have the offensive success it has had in previous weeks, they should do enough to win with the “yet-to-be-aptly-named” defense leading the way behind a third straight shut down performance.

1. USC (2-0)
Why: I promised they’d be on top with a win at Ohio State. No team has proven more than they have and for the rest of the season, they stay here until someone beats them. I’m not as sold on Matt Barkley as an easily impressed media, though. That final drive was Joe McKnight. Give credit to Barkley for not losing the game, but I don’t think USC’s offense is necessarily championship caliber until he gets more experience.
Every college football fan in this country: @&%#, I thought this was a down year!!

2. UCLA (2-0)
Why: My rankings are result-based from the season at hand. Cal has looked great, but they haven’t proven anything other than that they can beat bad teams. UCLA won on the road at Tennessee and I would think of all fans, Cal can see why that’s impressive.
Quarterback Kevin Craft: “Coach, can I go back in now? Kevin (Prince) is hurt. I swear I’ll only throw two picks if you let me play. Please? Coach Neuheisel: Yeeeeaaaah, no. No, definitely not.

3. Cal (2-0)
Why: The Maryland win has less of a shine after the Terrapins nearly lost to James Madison. Beating Eastern Washington means nothing. Basically, they haven’t proven anything yet, but that’s not their fault. In my eyes, they are a legitimate challenger to USC.
Offensive Coordinator Andy Ludwig: “We’re averaging 55.5 points a game. I think I’ve proven I’m good at my job.” Us: “Oregon scored 50 points one time in your three years. What you did to our offense was a crime. You should be behind bars.”

4. Oregon State (2-0)
Why: The Beavers need to send giant gift baskets to all interested parties in that 3rd and 26 play on their game-winning drive. Without the pass interference penalty, they are probably answering questions about why they can’t win non-conference road games (I guess that wasn’t really a reason why they are 4th. Oh well.).
UNLV DB Deante Purvis: “You’re welcome. Please send the check in care of my bookie.”

5. Arizona (2-0)
Why: Well, looks like that win against Central Michigan was fairly impressive now that we’ve seen the Chippewas beat Michigan State.
AP Poll Voters: “We’re paying attention. Win at Iowa and we’ll consider it. It’s just that we haven’t seen you in, like, 11 years, so you’ll just have to be patient.”

6. Oregon (1-1)
Why: That was a tough ten days. There’s still a lot to figure out with this team, but after the opener, any win is a good win.
Oregon Fans: “Uh, well, hmmm, I, uh, yeah.”

7. Stanford (1-1)
Why: Oh Stanford, what happened? You’re my sleeper team this year. I believe in you, but come on. You let one get away and you know it. And don’t give me the 9 am PST start time.  You lost that thing in the second half.
Coach Jim Harbaugh: “Would somebody please show me this clipping penalty? I haven’t been able to find it.”

8. Arizona State (1-0)
Why: They’ve played one game and beat an FCS opponent. They travel to Georgia in two weeks and unless someone above them does something awful, they’ll stay in the bottom three until then.
Louisiana-Monroe: “We’re someone. Didn’t you see our 58-0 win over Texas Southern?” Me: “No, did anyone?”

9. Washington
Why: Because they won! They won! Oh, yes, they won!
Washington Fans: “We’re back, baby! Woof!” The rest of us: “Calm down Rufus. You beat Idaho.”

10. Washington State
Why: Sorry Cougs. The Huskies finally won a game and you are bad. Really bad. Paul Wulff…not a good choice.
Washington State fans: “We know, Nick. It’s kind of obvious so could you just stop rubbing it in?”

The Dennis Erickson Award for “What, I’m Still in the Same Place? Why?”
…And the Winner Is: Taylor Mays, USC Safety. It’s shocking that he came back. Everyone assumed he would enter the NFL draft as a surefire first round pick. Instead, he’s at USC for his senior year and figures to anchor a raw, but talented USC defense.

The Chip Kelly Award for “I’m Destined For Greatness, So Why is Everyone a Little Unsure?”
…And the winner is: Whichever quarterback starts for USC in its opening game. Two Trojan quarterbacks have won Heisman Trophies under Pete Carroll and every time they break in someone new, the doubters quickly subside. Still, until Aaron Corp or Matt Barkley prove it, it’s all guesswork.

The Pete Carroll Award for “How Many Times Do I Have to Say It? This is Where I Want To Be”
…And the winner is: Markus Wheaton, OSU WR. Yep, Wheaton is a Beaver. Duck fans probably still can’t believe the cousin of Kenny Wheaton would do such a thing. We’re still waiting to hear it was a joke. The Ducks now just have to hope Oregon State doesn’t get a program-defining moment from Kenny’s cousin.

The Steve Sarkisian Award for “We’re Going to Be Awesome Because I Said So”
…And the winner is: The Arizona Wildcats. Anyone else feel like Mike Stoops’ bunch has been the next coming of greatness in the conference for the last five years? All they have is a 6-6 regular season and a Las Vegas Bowl trophy to show for it. Sure, the honor could have been given to Washington, but it was ineligible to win its coach’s own award.

The Paul Wulff Award for “Hi, We’re Still Up Here. Hey, over here! Watch for us, We’re Going to Be Better. Ah, Screw It, We’re Terrible.”
…And the Winner Is: Kevin Prince, UCLA QB. Okay, that’s not fair to the redshirt freshman Prince and “terrible” is too strong of a word, but the point is that even though UCLA is moving on from a disastrous year at the quarterback position, they undoubtedly have more growing pains ahead.

The Mike Stoops Award for “I’m a Star. No, Really, Ignore the Mediocrity Because I’m a Star!”
…And the Winner Is: Jake Locker. Sorry, Saint Locker of the Seattleites. It’s not that I want to give you this award, it’s just that you’ve never done anything to justify all the hype your fans are heaping on you. Feel free to prove us wrong.

The Rick Neuheisel Award for “We’re Coming For You No Matter How Ridiculous That Sounds”
…And the Winner Is: The Stanford Cardinal. Believe it or not, Stanford might be good this year. It’s even possible they creep into the top four teams in the conference. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Cardinal make a leap to a bowl game for this first time since 2001.

The Mike Riley Award for “What Else Do We Have to Do to Prove We’re Good?”
…And the Winner Is: The whole gosh-darned (tribute to Riley-speak) Pac-10. A 5-0 bowl record in 2008 and stellar records this decade against fellow BCS teams just isn’t enough. Distribution of your product to the masses matters and the Pac-10 is lacking a national audience. Just keep on winning, I guess.

The Jeff Tedford Award for “How Did We Go From Underdog to Overrated?”
…And the Winner Is: Jeremiah Masoli. As a fan of the Duck’s quarterback, it hurts to put him here, but it’s a natural fit. Masoli still has a lot to prove as his hype is riding on the back of a three game stretch to end 2008. He’ll need to put together a full season of strong play.

The Jim Harbaugh Award for “We’re Borderline Geniuses and Oh, Yeah, We Can Play Too”
…And the Winner Is: Mike Nixon, ASU LB. Let’s see, Nixon carries a 4.05 GPA in Political Science and was an Honorable Mention All-Conference player in 2008. And this year, he’s tabbed as a preseason first team player by many. Yeah, he kind of owns this category.

View past Coach’s Awards: 2008