It’s not mail, it’s visitor searches. Google, Yahoo, Bing… they all come from somewhere.

This week’s edition comes with 75% more useful information than ever before!

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  My mistake. I thought you wanted to get to know the real blog.

  the pond and beyond, university of oregon (AOL Search in Los Angeles, CA)

At first, I thought someone wanted to really get to know the blog. Like… really understand it in a deep and meaningful way, you know? And then I found out it’s just some boring student life newsletter (pdf). Sigh…

• oregon the pick ringtone (Google Search in Bend, OR)

Did the proliferation of the internet ruin this for anyone else? Used to be, you went to Autzen Stadium six times a year and cheered like hell when it was played. Now, you can just watch it on YouTube or some other corner of the internet whenever you want.

But if you want it on your phone, I can’t blame you. Here’s a site that has it (requires registration).

• oregon college football twitter (Google Search in Bend, OR)

Be careful with Twitter. Once you’re sucked in, there’s no getting out. It’s addicting.

If I missed something (I’m sure I did), feel free to throw it in the comments. There’s no particular order to this:

- @OffThePond (see, no particular order)
- @DuckFootball (Rob Moselely, Register-Guard)
- @DuckSportsNow (News Feed)
- @OregonFootball (Official)
- @TonyDiFrancisco (Duck Sports Authority)
- @GeorgeSchroeder (Register-Guard and SI)
- @AddictedToQuack (SBNation fan site)
- @Prehmmr (Duck Territory)
- @ajude34 (Register-Guard)
- @KenGoe (Oregonian)
- @JHuntweet (Oregonian)
- @UOSportsDude (Student-run fan blog)

Bonus Twitter: @TypicalHusky
Sample tweet: Tailgating today with my Dad, the frat, and a case of Zinfandel (Rombauer St Helena 2007). #gohuskies #uw

• gd autzen (Google Search in Sicklerville, NJ)

I hear ya’. It’s a bitch, ain’t it?

• “chip kelly” mindset (Google Search in Beaverton, OR)

This is equal parts simple and impossible. On the one hand, Chip is very clear. If you ask a dumb question such as “Hey coach, what do you hope to accomplish today?” he’s going to respond with “Win.” Duh. If you ask him, “Hey, what’s the injury status on so-and-so?” he’s going to say, altogether now, “Day-to-day.”

Simple, right?

On the other hand, he’s so freaking brilliant that no one can really understand the depths of his mindset beyond those surface answers. Ted Miller has suggested the inside of his brain looks like this and I assume that’s probably as good of a visual estimate as we can provide.

• at autzen stadium what does wtd mean? (Google Search in Lenexa, KS)

- Worship The Ducks?
- Whoopin’ Teams Down?
- Washington Totally Dreadful?

Nah, it stands for “Win The Day” a popular Chip Kelly mantra that the entire program seems to live by.

• oregon cheated vs tennessee (Google Search in Naha, Okinawa, Japan)

Oh come on, Japan. Why would you even say that? Wait, are you talking about this garbage? That’s nothing but wishful thinking on the part of some USC fans.

They did this, this, this and this in one half, but I wouldn’t call that cheating.

By the way, big, big thanks to keeerrrttt1 who posts an insane amount of Duck videos on YouTube. Everything is there that you want to find. Everything.

• kirk herbstreit for halloween (Google Search in Tuscaloosa, AL)

Oh, you clever college kids. May I suggest the following:

• how did oregon come up with oregon ducks (Google Search in Erlanger, KY)

The official athletics website has a great read on this topic. Seems the duck has encountered a lot of opposition over the years but always prevails.

• lane kiffin leaves vols (Google Search in Hawkinsville, GA)

He did? (warning: rated R for language and mild nudity – if you count a guy in a full body orange costume as nude… which I don’t)

• standing strong pac (Google Search in Carrollton, TX)

Pac-10 pride is the theme of the weak but good luck getting a Duck fan to say Go Huskies. Tried that already.

• jon wilner worst voter (Google Search in Vancouver, WA )

Word.

This blog has a no linking policy to Wilner’s stuff until he is no longer responsible for Oregon’s worst ranking. You’re gonna’ miss that traffic Wilner!

That’s the end of this week’s SearchBag, but don’t worry, it’s only the beginning of your football weekend. If you’re bored with Portland State, just follow OTP on Twitter.

Soooo, I’m using the next best thing. First Friday of every month (and perhaps every Friday), I’m picking out some interesting searches recorded to this site by Google Analytics from the previous month (or week) and I’m going to provide an answer to that curious searcher’s quest. As I’m sure you’re aware, this will be a very serious feature.

Admittedly, this week is a little Washington heavy, but I’m just in a Husky bashing mood.

• “is mike bellotti married to a mormon” (Google Search in Provo, UT)

It’s not clear to this blog if Bellotti has remarried his ex-wife. The last public report I found from 2009 says they were engaged so it’s possible. However, I’m going out on a limb here and saying no, she’s not Mormon.

• “washington huskies vs oregon ducks record” (Google Search in Salem, OR)

I’m sorry, that search wasn’t very clear. Did you mean since 2004? I assume that’s what you meant. The record is 6 wins for Oregon and no wins for Washington.

• “kirk herbstreit jeans” (Google Search in St. Cloud, MN) &  “kirk herbstreit orange tan” (Google Search in Wynnewood, PA)

I’ve long been a proponent of Herbie’s nice, orange tan. But seeing the man in jeans? I cannot support that (mostly because I can’t find that). But here’s an image I took of my TV with my iPhone last season. Orange enough?

Hollywood Tan's number one customer in Ohio.

• “is ochocinco a duck” (Google Search in Seattle, WA)

Are you kidding? He’s hardly even a Beaver. He even admitted he only went to class the first week at Oregon State. That was a Dennis Erickson rent-a-player special.

• “photo billy joe hobert” (Google Search in Seattle, WA)

You’re right. This site needs a photo of Billy Joe Hobert so here you go. It seems odd that he’s holding a wad of cash while playing.

Toward the end, Billy Joe just started taking his wads of cash everywhere.

• “prediction for washington state and montana state” (Google Search in Kalispell, MT)

The guess here is this was a high volume search. Ah, nope, just one lonely, misled searcher. I predict 2-10 for the Cougars. The Montana State Bobcats will go 7-5. You can take that to the bank. I researched it for like 21 seconds.

• “is matt barkley going to have a better season” (Google Search in Dallas, TX)

Wow, this is like a real question. I’ll give it a real answer. I’d have to say yes. His TD/INT ratio was 15/14 last year and he completed just shy of 60% of his passes. Not great, but he was a true freshman and it’s hard to believe there won’t be improvement. Then again, perhaps Autzen Stadium shook him of every ounce of confidence (he had a lot) and he will simply melt away for the rest of his career. With Lane Kiffin, it’s possible.

• “jake locker uw gpa” (Google Search in Spokane, WA)

I’m just guessing here, but I believe it’s 0.0. I don’t know how he’s staying eligible. I suppose they’re cheating.

• “duck vs husky football jokes” (Google Search in Seattle, WA)

Tell me if you’ve heard this one.

Jake Locker is 9-20 as a starting quarterback, has a career completion percentage of 53.3% and is projected by many as a Heisman candidate and top NFL draft pick.

Actually, that’s not even a joke. It’s just a fact.

Have you heard all the talk that you might be the team to beat this year? No, seriously, everyone thinks you’re going to dethrone the Trojans of Troy. They say Jahvid Best might be a Heisman front-runner and that he could run all over USC’s defense. Your secondary, that’s a good unit, too. It looks like Matt Barkley could throw a few picks your way.

You’re excited, aren’t you? Has there ever been a bigger game in the history of your stadium? Probably not. Just think of all that energy flowing through the stadium right before the ball is kicked off. This is going to be your chance to stick your flag in the Pac-10′s proverbial surface and proclaim it Golden Bear country.

Nobody blames you for looking ahead. I’d be excited, too. I’d probably gloss right over the patsy on the schedule that you haven’t lost to in 4 years. In fact, you should. Rest up, stay healthy. Mentally prepare yourselves for the juggernaut that is USC.

If nothing else, at least you’ll have an excuse on Sunday.

1. I think the days of walking over the Huskies are over. We knew it was coming. I embrace it because I love the rivalry and, believe it or not, I’ve missed them. We’ll see over time just how dumb that sentiment is. Still, it doesn’t mean UW is a loss waiting to happen this season. I get the feeling they are going to flirt with about a 6-6 season when it’s all said and done which would be a remarkable turn-around.

2. Cincinnati looked good. The Big East is usually an easy target, but I think the Bearcats are legit. Quarterback Tony Pike seems to be a master of the offense and they don’t hold the playbook back. I know being the front runner of the Big East is like being the best electrician in Amish country, but I think they can compete at a top 10 level. It’s a tough loss for Beaver fans, but not one that defines their season by any means.

3. Kirk Herbstreit, improbably, is getting even orangier (it’s kind of a word). He might be a pumpkin by Halloween. Granted, a pumpkin with bright blue eyes and gorgeous frosted hair, but a pumpkin nonetheless (I only wish I had a picture of his close-up in the booth of the Texas-Texas Tech game to illustrate this).

4. I can’t resist one Oregon reference. I liked the uniform combo. Apparently, no one else did and that’s fine. Is it the best of the hundreds of combos? No, but I liked it better than the “all greens” a week ago. Jeremiah Masoli needs help though. These unis make him look like he’s wearing mom jeans (these are the things you notice when watching games with an FOTB. Actually, I noticed that on my home, but don’t tell anyone).

5. Purdue’s loss to Northern Illinois surprised me. I thought they played really well at Autzen and was expecting them to be a competitive team this year. Of course, one loss doesn’t mean they’re done, but it stains my impression of them.

6. Give it up for Washington State after getting a win in overtime over SMU. If only they could call it a season. 1-2 sounds so much better than 1-11.

“Ducks are the college football version of Paris Hilton…they’re famous for no reason, they look pretty and they got a rich daddy.”

Unwilling to believe that a man with such a nice orange tan from Ohio could say such a thing, I googled the quote. All I found was some stuff from the doldrums of OregonLive.com’s Mensa-level forums and an OSU message board back in April.

I’m calling B.S. We all know Herbie has a special place in his heart for Eugene and we look forward to his five visits for College GameDay this year.