Day 1: The waiting is the hardest part | Day 2: When the booze is free, it gets consumed | Day 3: If nothing else, there was a moment

Monday, January 10, 2011: If nothing else, there was a moment
9:37 a.m. How do you follow up a late night trip to In ‘n Out? Go for breakfast at Waffle House, of course. Mostly, this is a southern thing, so it should be no surprise we were outnumbered by Auburn fans at a 10:1 ratio. Of course, Auburn outnumbered Oregon everywhere you went. These people love their football.

12:00 p.m. We. Are. Headed. To. The. Game. Finally.

1:03 p.m. We have our tailgate set up. I hang a National ChampionChip shirt over a car window. You know, just in case someone likes it. With that, I take off with my snoring friend to see if we can find him a ticket.

1:11 p.m. I have a missed call. Wonder what that could be about.

1:23 p.m. We find the designated area for ticket brokers to sell to fans. They should just call it what it is. Sleazeville. These are not people I would readily trust. Let’s face it, if a grown man is in public and conducting business in a full body sweat suit, we’re off to a bad start. Low price at this point: $1,800. That’s probably a fake. Most tickets are well over $2k right now and one is at $6k.

Come on dude. You're wearing a full sweat suit. At least pretend like this transaction is legit.

1:53 p.m. We’re back at the tailgate. That missed call? It was to inform me that the Glendale police confiscated the t-shirts. For what, I’m still not sure. We probably had to have a permit. We never even sold one. Hell, we weren’t even advertising it as an item for sale. I generally find Arizona to be the kind of place where they like to carry guns and enforce laws during the downtime between breaths. I hope Africa appreciates the shirts.

2:25 p.m. We’re just chillin’ and enjoying the sun when over strolls this big black guy pushing a paint bucket and mini DJ system. No, no, no. We don’t have any mon—

2:26 p.m. “That’s what I’m saying, do you know what I mean, coming all the way from ooh Eugene. That’s why we gon’ be the BCS champs, I’m just sittin’ here settin’ up camp.”

2:27 p.m. Oh, this guy’s got some freestyle talent. No one’s going to hire me for a film shoot anytime soon. Enjoy my thumb, shaky hand and vertical shot.

3:30 p.m. or so: I have consumed the all-important Ninkasi Total Domination IPA. It flew with me from San Diego. Tradition is not to be trifled with. But we’re antsy. This game is drawing close. We are so very ready to go in.

Thought I'd won the day.

3:39 p.m. Some Auburn fans start interacting with us. These people are very nice. One even has a cooler full of orange and green Jell-o shots to share. I just can’t. The hospitality is great, but I intend to remember every bit of this game.

3:41: This nice Auburn lady with Jell-o shots is telling us about some pair of her lucky underwear that was featured in an Alabama newspaper. Really glad I didn’t take that Jell-o shot.

Around 4:00 p.m. Ah, there it is. Auburn and Oregon fan arguing over Obama. You only get one guess which side of the argument each took.

After 5:00 p.m. We are in the stadium. It is electric. People are shouting, chanting, singing, bouncing. It has the big game feel you would imagine exists for something of this magnitude.

5:28 p.m. Random war eagle shouting continues.

Pregame ceremony, around 6:15 ish: The Fiesta Bowl committee is literally letting a freaking eagle circle the stadium and the PA guy is trying to tell us it’s for both teams. Bullshit. Thanks for the slap in the face BCS. You can war eagle my ass.

Oregon's coming out. OTP is sitting (standing, really) in the seats you see in the opposite end zone.

6:30 p.m. Kickoff. All the buzz and electricity is reaching a crescendo. 78,000 people are ready to jump out of their skin.

To this point, I’m at least close on the time of day, if not entirely accurate. At the game, I have lost track.

End of first quarter: This game isn’t shaping up to be an offensive battle. Momentous turnovers for both teams are the story. Outside, my snoring friend from New York is still battling 40,000 other fans for a last-minute ticket. Low price? $1,700. He brought a lot of cash, but not that much.

End of half: Down 16-11, this game doesn’t feel anything like the other slow starts. Oregon is being controlled, but the defense is getting stops. You get the sense there won’t be an explosion of points by either team. We are in a battle.

End of third quarter: Oregon is down 19-11, and nerves are finally settling in. I had previously told my brother’s fiance (Beaver believers, the both of them) that she can talk trash to me as much as she wants. And so she is via text.

“Doesn’t look like you drank your pre game domination bitch.”

“Yeah!!! How does it feel to get stopped at the one yard line….try and win the day now!!!”

“How many pushups did puddles do today?”

Ouch. I wanted to respond, but then I realized I’m at the Natty and the Beavers are not. Words couldn’t say it any better.

Late in the 4th quarter, under 5 minutes to go, down 19-11: Fumble! Oregon has it! Oregon has the ball!!!

3rd and goal from the two yard line: There’s a timeout and I say to myself, “If nothing else, let us just have this one moment.” At the time, I didn’t realize who could possibly let us have the moment. After listening to Auburn coach Gene Chizik’s postgame speech, I realized it was God, because He strikes down Obama-loving, hippy-commune-living Ducks with the vengeance of 1,000 tea partiers at a “Let’s Raise Taxes!” convention.

Back from timeout, there’s a shovel pass to LaMichael James and he walks in for….A OH MY GOD TOUCHDOWN WE’RE IN IT BABY!!!!

[LOTS OF JUMPING AND SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVING.]

I swear even the man behind me with the cane has a 42″ vertical.

Two point conversion attempt: The crowd is still frenzied as Darron Thomas takes a severely angled snap, runs to the right, throws it back across the end zone to Jeff MAN CRUSH Maehl and the two point conversion…IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD OH YES WE ARE GOING TO STRIP NAKED AND RUN THROUGH ALL OF GODDAMN ARIZONA TONIGHT!!!!!!

[STILL JUMPING. STILL SCREAMING]

Auburn ball, two minute drill in effect: Okay, so we got the moment. Can we have a little more?

Nope. That was it. Without Kyle Brotzman, this is going to be the soul crushingest of soul crushing defeats. No need to HE rehash WAS the DOWN events !!! of such a bitter moment in Duck history.

Postgame: We sit as most Duck fans file out. I figure you get this far, you might as well suffer the hell out of it. We watch as Chizik takes a slam dunk question to give a little praise to Oregon and turns it into Sunday school. Church was yesterday, pal.

WAR EAGLE!!!

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!! I can’t take the war eagle anymore. Say hello, say goodbye, just tell me you have something else in your vocabulary besides fricking war freaking eagle!!

Outside the game, the  yellow and green people are auditioning for the Walking Dead while the rest resemble a cult of delirious humans who have been duped into believing what they just witnessed is real and not some temporary moment in time destined to be taken away in a blaze of NCAA sanctioned glory.

Me <– little bitter

Perhaps after 11 p.m., sulking through the parking lot: Auburn fans are gracious. Too nice, in fact. I, for one, do not want to be told we played a good game, that we should be proud of the effort. This is all true, but Auburn fans, kind and gracious as you are, I just don’t want to hear it right now. Please leave me alone.

War eagle!

Son of a bitch.

News is slowing down before the big week, so just a few links. Be sure to win the year today and say goodbye to twenty ten.

• Sooo…Washington won last night. The losing season streak is over. Sorry Oregon State, your record of 28 in a row will not be broken by the Huskies. A 7-6 season from UW is of no interest to Duck fans, though. Not with six consecutive wins in the series, all by more than 20. Remember, all that woofing they’re doing is just a puppy learning how to bark.
• LaMichael James announcement that he’s coming back in 2011 surprised me. You just don’t see players pass up the money. There will be some offensive holes to fill, but Darron Thomas and LaMichael James should make it easier for everyone.
• Is this t-shirt real? If so, society loses. Spell check, then print.
• Unfortunately, Mac Court is going out with some bad basketball. Maybe that’s for the best, though. If no one can remember what it’s really like, it won’t be missed.
• Got to agree with Nick Aliotti, we could really use a football game about now. 35 days is loooooooong.

• I have to strongly disagree with one writer’s contention that fans and media saw Chip Kelly as an underwhelming replacement for Mike Bellotti. Way off. I even nervously wrote that I thought Kelly would become a coaching legend, this while his record was still 0-0.
• Academics are going to get in the way of Oregon’s preparations what with school starting on Monday. If the NCAA has taught me anything, it’s that you can do whatever you want and not get punished for a BCS bowl game, so I say hire someone to do all the course work for these guys and let them focus on the game (OTP has gone morally bankrupt in its pursuit of a win).
• West Virginia’s Noel Devine has torched Auburn in the past and Tiger players say LaMichael James is a reminder of that. I’ve always thought of Devine as more of a speedster that goes east-west a lot, but lacks the inside power game. I could be wrong, but that’s been my impression.
• I never even considered Oregon houses divided between Ducks and Tigers, but they’re out there. Makes you wonder if there are similar families in Alabama.
• Oregon ain’t the favorite, what with there being an ESS EEE CEE team on the other side. But Ducks, you’re still the favorite in OTP’s heart so you got that going for ya.
• Football teams make a lot of money. This we already know. But to be fair, it’s the equivalent of a contractor using undocumented workers and paying them $2 an hour. Anyone can make money under those circumstances.
• The Wall Street Journal notes that black quarterbacks are having a banner year. I hadn’t even noticed or thought about it until this article. That’s the way it should be, of course, but given the history of the position, this title game does have some cultural significance.
• The Bud Light Fiesta will be held all week leading up to the game and is staged by an Oregon company. ESPN will broadcast from the site as it goes through its 4 billion hours of coverage (95% of which I will watch).
• Mike Bellotti says most players in the game were recruited by him and that Chip Kelly was a hand-picked successor. He also would like to think he’d be coaching a national championship team if he were still there. Bellotti loves Oregon and there’s no reason to try and knock him down, but I just don’t see it.
• Eddie Pleasant could be an important player in containing Cam Newton. I’d agree with that. Pleasant has never really impressed me in pass coverage, but as a run stopper, he’s right at home. He seems like the right kind of athlete to keep an eye on the Heisman trophy winner.

• An Auburn booster about to stand trial for all kinds of corruption in the great state of Alabama is getting a pass from the judge to attend the national championship game. But don’t worry Auburn, he only tried to corrupt people outside your program. He’s very judicious with how he breaks the rules.
• Great article by Rachel Bachman shining the light on Oregon’s outlier program in terms of traditional national championship participants. What Oregon has lacked in the usual indicators of success, it has made up for by creating its own advantages.
• This fan of the day intimidates me what with his costuming and a weaponry that appears to include a light saber and battle axe. Maybe I’m not cut out to be selected by The Oregonian after all. But, yo! I’ll still take the call.
• Are the Oregon Ducks drowning out the TrailBlazers grip on the Rose City? I doubt it. The Blazers have a ridiculous stranglehold on that city.
• Well, it had to happen eventually. You read enough stuff and you’ll end up finding the dumbest article ever written. Oregon should apparently worry about all the lavish spending by Phil Knight. I mean, no other programs rely on donations to operate a budget. Not ever ever.
• I know what sells. Drugs, sex and other illicit behavior. So of course I’m including a link to a report about football program drug policies.
• The Oregon Commentator, I think, is right on the money calling On The Rocks’ new video “Call Me a Duck” a marketing tool for the university. When I watched, that’s the first thing my cynical mind thought. If that’s really the case, eh, whatever. It’s still catchy.
• Both LaMichael James and Cliff Harris were named consensus all-Americans. To me, this is the one that matters given that it’s a conglomeration of five different lists. Seriously, I can only process one winner. It’s America, baby!
• And the winner for first to publish a top 25 for 2011 goes to….NATIONALCHAMPS.NET! Woohoo! Congratulations, guys.
• The Register-Guard is doing a five part series that analyzes Oregon’s title run. Part II is on Darron Thomas. It’s well-researched and worth the read.

• The bowl system is so ridiculously broken and yet no one with the power to fix it seems to care. Schools continue to lose money on the games. That alone should spur some discontent but seems to be of no interest to school administrators.
• I know I’m way behind the times here, but I just got my first look at On The Rocks’ foray into making catchy Oregon tunes. Call Me a Duck pretty much showed up in my Facebook stream in about 1,295 consecutive posts at one point so I’d say it caught on.
• More music videos (well, minus the video part). Don’t love yourself some “Natty?” Go to “The Ship” instead. Hmm, OTP the evil capitalist says, “how can that be sold?”
• It’s clear that the Pac-10 isn’t so pumped up to have the Rose Bowl out of its hands this season. Part of me loves that it’s a conference tradition, but I’d rather see a playoff system with the Rose Bowl somehow apart of that.
• It’s Christmas week so why not take a link to offer you a great gift idea? Females, sorry, but this one doesn’t really apply to you. At least, it shouldn’t. Something tells me this would make for a messy bathroom.
• Oregon’s been “practicing like crazy.” It’s kind of a waste of time. Auburn’s already getting its shelves ready for championship gear.
• In case you’re like me and missed this, Lavasier Tuinei is back on the field. It’s simply amazing that Oregon will have every opening day starter available for this game. Someone should keep that stat. I’m sure it’s about as common as an amateur player at Auburn (feels like forever since I’ve been on that jokewagon).
• LaMichael James is going to have the option to turn pro and it’s not an avoidable subject. Personally, I think he should go and I would be all for it. He can improve his draft stock by showing better receiving skills and pass blocking, but really, is he going to be that much better in 2011? A repeat of this season is virtually impossible whether it’s an injury or just the changes a new year brings. Hopefully, he stays, but I wouldn’t put it as a likely scenario.
• Hey, Oregonian! I wanna’ be a Duck fan of the day. Ask me anything you want. Can you make it so John Canzano is the one doing the interview?
• Congrats to the Sugar Bowl on creating a nice little mess by printing an extra 1,680 tickets for the game. Just when you think capacity is a way to stop the BCS from making money, they find another way. Actually, the duplicates were mailed to the original purchaser. Fortunately, I conducted a study and 100% of those polled said cross their heart, hope to die, they won’t sell the duplicate.
• Finally, a little year-in-review video pulled from a comment in a previous post. I like the addition of some screenshots from various websites throughout the season.

Apparently, I've found a legal way to get inside this stadium.

Before the links, a short story from last night.

There I sat in the same dark room I hadn’t left in days. Light had all but given up trying to penetrate my day-to-day life. I quit shaving altogether. My clothes were on a hot streak for consecutive days worn. It was stage 5 no-Natty ticket depression. Heavy stuff, to be sure. And then, with the surprise of a Jake Locker completion, my phone rings.

“Hello?,” I say.

The voice on the other end was that of the mother-in-law of the blog (MILOTB, natch).

“Nick, how would you like to be inside the stadium in Glendale?”

“Um, yeah, of course!” I exlaimed with glee, ready to shout yippee!

“Two tickets are yours if you want them.”

After pondering the statement for negative 4 billion seconds, I staked my claim. Could it be? Tickets for me? Are they fake? Is this a cruel joke? Why are you playing such a mean joke? Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to a person. How dare you!

But would you believe it, MILOTB spoke the truth. I swear at that moment I saw a rainbow and maybe even a unicorn. With tickets secured, I hung up, had a good cry for an hour or so (the happy kind) and realized, life is good (but I’m still not shaving. Too much work.).

• Yesterday, the BCS game uniforms were announced. The Oregonian went much deeper into the design and included some history of the Ducks relationship with Nike regarding all that is football fashion.
• LaMichael James was named first-team all-American. Again. This time, it’s the AP version. Cliff Harris was a second-team selection. No more award jokes. They’ve worn me down. I accept that there has to be 100 different awards doing the same thing.
• This shirt is a legend in its own right. Guessing it’s not an officially licensed shirt by the Big Ten.
• For some reason, Cal is handing it to the Ducks in recruiting lately. To each their own in life, but you choose Cal over Oregon right now and I’m questioning your will to win. And play through light cramping. Just sayin’.
• Hey, Ted Miller gave some love to D.J. Davis, too. It’s a groundswell of support for the senior wide receiver. If it’s up to me, he will be a superstar by January 10.
• Bored? Kill some time considering Oregon’s top 5 bowl games ever. It’s actually a hard list to argue with given the small sample size to choose from. I don’t know a thing about the 1949 Cotton Bowl, so no comment there. One omission, the 2000 Holiday Bowl, will forever have a special place within the beating, pulsating muscle I call a heart.
• I didn’t watch this video about how Oregon can stop Cameron Newton mostly because Craig James is in the preview and I can’t imagine what good would come of clicking play. Still, the question intrigues me. I suppose you can figure out some sort of football-related strategy, but why not take your chances and tell him he has to play for free? Maybe he won’t show up.
• The Portland Tribune has a preview of the Oregon basketball season, which will be short on size. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. See what I did there?

• Nice to see Cam Newton making the rounds on the media circuit. And you wonder why Heisman trophy winners usually lose in the BCS title game. Keep it up, Cam. Keep it up. I’d ask how he’s affording all that travel, but…
• While Newton seems right at home in front of a camera, LaMichael James is best on the field and is happy to be back. That same article also mentions that players can receive up to $500 in gifts from the bowls. To which Cam Newton says, where’s the other $179,500?
• All that hype about new uniforms for the big game led to much less than expected. Looks like Nike went down to Fred Meyers, picked up some yellow socks and gave ‘em a new undershirt. Not that it looks bad. The expectations were just for something a tad more outrageous. At least the jokes are original, hilarious and just plain awesome. You know, kind of like my Cam Newton comedy above. Oh wait…
• The Ducks have a lot of spare time these days. Just keep it in line, boys. We don’t need any Iowa-like scandal here.
• As a playoff proponent (who isn’t? Oh, yeah, all those guys in power.), I wish more people would take this stance. Just because the matchup for the title game is what everyone wants doesn’t mean the system works. Are one-loss teams really that much worse than a squad that’s undefeated? No. The BCS worked as it’s designed but it’s the design that has the flaw. Although, the headline on that story is laughable. Hard to imagine another conference profiting on the BCS system more than the Big Ten. Speaking of profiting,
• As far as analyzing the Big Ten’s new logo is concerned, I think this is as good as you’ll find.

• Really, we should be kicking off the week with Oregon links but the Big 10 is just so ridiculously ridiculous with its rebranding effort this morning. They have renamed their divisions to “Leaders” and “Legends.” And if that’s not bad enough, they’ve unleashed a new logo that forgot the 1 and the 2, which together form the correct number, 12. They might as well have just gone with this.
• Dang, UO students got kinda’ screwed. Apparently, Student Affairs sold off the student allotment to a travel agency who then sold back to students at a jacked up price.
• Darron Thomas made Dr. Saturday’s list of top overachievers this season. I agree and I don’t. On the one hand, no one even knew he’d be the starter until one week before the first game. On the other, he was highly recruited so he wasn’t exactly an unknown.
• Anytime a story involves Bryan Bracey, I feel obligated to link it. I don’t really know why. I just know he was among a group to tour Matt Court and that is awesome.
• Addicted to Quack puts LaMichael James season up against years and years of “The Suffering.” Great article. In so many ways, I am not unhappy to have been born later.
• LaMichael James and Cliff Harris were named to yet another version of the all-American team. We should be done with these by April. I’m fairly certain I have a shot if there are indeed that many more teams.
• Auburn offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn, aka, the guy that makes Auburn fans blindly believe in head coach Gene Chizik, may be on the move to Vanderbilt. Conspiracy alert! What does he know? Is he making the move because he knows Cam Newton cheated? Is he getting out before it’s too late? Will Auburn be given the death penalty by Christmas? I don’t know. Maybe he just wants a head coaching gig. But Vanderbilt? Really? (EDIT: Never mind. Just reported he’s staying right after I posted this. I kidding anyway, Mr. Auburn fan.).
• While the boss is away…Chip Kelly returned to practice and the intensity picked up. He’s magical, I tell you.

• The end of the season means it’s time to look at all that money. USA Today has coaches’ salaries from the welfare package at Lousiana-Monroe ($215,000) to Nick Saban’s “haha, you’re all poor” total compensation of $5,997,349.
• Can we just agree that some fans are dumb. Really? Burning the Reser Stadium turf? All I can say if Oregon wins the whole thing, hide your couches, Eugene. And, guy who burns turf, if you read this, I don’t apologize. Pull up your pants, too. It’s embarrassing.
• LaMichael James has fallen to a very close third in the latest Heisman projections. This is going to be close but I guess if people like the guy that barfed all over Autzen for his team’s only loss, then so be it.
• Haysus Christo! These Auburnites are so damn full of themselves. This paid writer for a professional newspaper trolls better than some of their fans. Can Oregon get a little respect, please?
• One or two days of class is going to be sooooooo important to your long-term futures, kids. So stay in class and don’t pay attention to that football game.
• The Arizona Republic, oddly enough, caught up with that guy Chip Kelly sent a refund to after the Boise State game. He’s happy.
• It’s old news by now given the speed of the news cycle, but the Ducks landed guys all over the Pac-10s all-conference teams.
• Canada cares about the Ducks, too!
• Poor, poor governor-elect John Kitzhaber. The law won’t let him go to Glendale. Funny, money won’t let me. So far…

*Off The Pond is not responsible for the authenticity of that claim.

• Yes, the mysterious case of Lee Corso’s disappearing head was indeed solved yesterday afternoon and a couple UO dropouts now face felony charges. Is this really that serious? Sounds like some people need to lighten up just a little.
• Holy crap, Oregon has the play against the best player in the history of the greatest conference ever known to man! So screwed.
• Chip Kelly received one prestigious coach of the year award yesterday, but not the one that pays him $25,000 so that payday still lingers. In other news, I am seriously starting an activist group to consolidate all these awards. We’ll call it, “The Awards Are Too Damn Many” party.
• Heisman ballots continue to be updated at stiffarmtrophy.com. As of this writing, LaMichael James is narrowly holding onto second place. And oh by the way, you already know this, but James is going to be in New York as a finalist.
• How about this piece of news from yesterday? The final BCS standings were wrong. The error effected the 10th and 11th ranked teams so no big deal, but it speaks to the greatergianthugemonolithicextreme joke that is this system.
• Wow. Wisconsin’s student newspaper is not afraid to name names when it comes to students buying Rose Bowl tickets for a quick profit. It’s so Old Testament in a gentle, no one gets hurt kind of way. I like it!
• George Schroeder chased down some perspective from Mike Bellotti. One wouldn’t blame Bellotti for feeling a little left out right now, but he seems happy for all his old colleagues and players.
• Oh Eugene, I love you. Some dude in Lane County changed his name to Captain Awesome.
• Double jinx! Cam Newton and LaMichael James grace regional covers of SI. After the game, one fan base will say it was the SI cover jinx that beat them because people like to believe in crazy things that take the light off bad performances.
• The always entertaining list of bowl game swag is out. Sign me up for the Sun Bowl’s Helen of Troy hair dryer, which I thought was funny. But then WOTB says, “That’s a good brand.” So maybe it’s not so ba– no, that’s a terrible gift.