• I’m a couple days behind the curve here, but if you need a quick Husky-week laugh, cruise to about the 3:45 mark on this Hugh Millen meltdown. I’ll quote for you. “We have to go play freakin’, you know who we have to play, the Jetsons! Freakin’ Star Trek! It’s not freakin’ fun for anybody!”
• Yawn. Husky week. Eh, whatever.
• Of course, leave it to Chip to make Washington sound like a formidable opponent. But that’s why he’s a coaching prodigy.
• What, he’s not a genius? Who said that? Chip? He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
• Ok, perhaps he is mortal, but Chip has no patience for movie endings that don’t conform to his style. So he rewrites them.
• I dare say, Lane Kiffin loves him some Oregon. And he’s passing tips on to Washington coach Steve Sarkisian. Kiffin didn’t say it, but one can imagine his first tip was to take advantage of all that state employee sick time.
• EDSBS needs your stories of tailgating and general campus delight. This is no time to hold back. The more inappropriate, the better.
• Tweet of the day goes to the Dan Patrick Show. “Jeff Fisher said he thinks the Scoregon Ducks could score on an NFL team.”
• The Daily Emerald gets in depth with D.J. Davis, who for the blog’s money is one heck of an underrated player.
• And let’s end it on a video. You just knew when you watched this live something had to be done. Well, how about Ace of Base?

When you take away @OregonFootball, the blog is a sad panda.

Hey Twitterers. Notice something missing from your feed over the weekend? @OregonFootball went poof. Like Warden Samuel Norton said in the Shawshank Redemption, “Lord! It’s a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind!”

Guess Chip Kelly’s football department just got tired of being able to send out useful information in a controlled manner that is entirely positive toward the program. Sure, that makes sense.

Or, someone got a little upset over a certain Matt Barkley retweet and overreacted by approximately 1,000%. I’m just guessing here. Don’t really know for sure, but the timing of the account’s deletion is curious given that it happened not too long after The Register-Guard noted Oregon’s official Twitter account inserted itself into the Matt Barkley happy-fun-time-tweetfest.

Why am I bringing this up? I have nothing better to do. That account should exist and whoever shut it down needs to know it. I’ll bring WOTB (Wife of the Blog) into this to illustrate the point. She follows the Ducks in a far more sane manner than myself and @OregonFootball is her Twitter source (and, ahem, yours truly of course…or not). While out of town this weekend, unprompted, she actually asked me what happened to the account. You think there’s a few more people like her? Oh, only about 9,068 before its departure.

Come on athletic department people. You need a football mouthpiece on Twitter. Just set a policy not to retweet controversial stuff, reactivate it and let the world continue to spin on its axis. Thank you.

P.S. If @OregonFootball is eternally dead, can I have the followers? 9,000 > 100 (roughly).

Key ingredient? Oregon offense. No, it's true.

Someone’s always good for a quote whether it’s Chip, Nacho or someone else. In this case, coach Kelly let everyone know Oregon’s offense isn’t for you to understand. “It’s like the secret to Coke,” he said. We’re not telling anyone.” On to the links.

• First off, loved the Register-Guard coverage of the game. Top notch, gents. Click the link to get a list of their stories. The Oregonian’s coverage can be found here. I’m sure it was also good, but I went through so much stuff I forgot how to read by the time I got there. It was a big day of national coverage, so let’s do the rounds.
• Pete Thamel of The New York Times was on hand and says Oregon is a step ahead of everyone else.
• Sports Illustrated was on hand. Andy Staples made note that Oregon beat yet another faceless opponent. Stewart Mandel makes note that Oregon’s defense is underrated, but isn’t sure defense is what’s going to win a championship this year.
• ESPN had triple team coverage of the game. Ivan Maisel compares Oregon to a travelling Broadway play. He also gets Nick Aliotti to admit beating USC was a big deal. Control your coaches Chip! Bruce Feldman says the Ducks are like that imminent Mike Tyson knockout punch from the boxer’s heyday. Every Pac-10 fan’s favorite Ted Miller notes Oregon is more than a two-person team. There’s gotta’ be at least, like, three guys out there.
• More superlatives here from Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports. And from Michelle Smith of AOL Fanhouse.
• It’s not all sunshine from the national reporters. Matt Hayes of the Sporting News lazily claims we know nothing about this Oregon team and that this is still the same team that lost to Boise last year. Yack!
• Dr. Saturday notes Oregon puts in another day at the office. Ho hum.
• And rounding out the national perspective, Dennis Dodd at CBSSports.com tries to nitpick, but it’s a fruitless effort.
• From the same writer that brought you the infamous Jurrell Casey quote, this story states that whatever mystique the Coliseum had, it’s gone.
• One more story from LA media perspective, this one chock full of USC quotes including Matt Barkley stating, “They’re flawless.”

Enough of that USC game. We finish on a couple non game-related links:

• With eight games down, talk is going to increase about where Oregon’s offense fits historically. It’s already being discussed. The Ducks are just 1.1 points per game off an NCAA record that has stood since 1944. With 65 against Washington, the Ducks are right on pace.
• Recognize this? If you don’t, it’s LeGarrette Blount hurdling a defender Sunday on a run that sent him over 100 yards for the day in Tampa Bay’s win.

1. Chip’s message gets through so well, even I stay composed. In the past, Oregon’s start to the 2nd half would have ended with me in a court-appointed anger management class. Instead, I just smiled, kicked back and waited for the inevitable. The point I’m trying to make isn’t about me, but that there’s literally nothing to worry about with this team. Give ‘em four quarters and eventually, it’s game over.

2. Missing: large male of African American descent. Approximately 18-22 years old. Last seen wandering streets near USC campus in a deranged state. Appeared exhausted. Was overheard muttering “Only two players, only two players, only two players, only two players, only two players.” Call 1 (800) WEARESC if you see him. Do not approach. He does not respect you.

3. Question: If LaMichael James goes for 236 yards against a top 40 rush defense, what does that mean going forward against a sub-100 unit? Answer: They’re probably going to have to put it down. Sad, but this day comes for every Dawg eventually.

Oh, and Heisman voters, please save room on your ballot that’s NOT DUE UNTIL AFTER ALL GAMES ARE PLAYED. Here me Bo Jackson?

4. Oregon won’t face a more spirited effort the rest of the season. USC sold out to win this game. Players called it their Super Bowl and desperately wanted to defend what was left of the Trojans alpha dog status. If there was a game Oregon could lose on the sheer desire and motivation of its opponent, this was it.

That’s not to denigrate the effort of any future opponent but just to say beating Oregon meant A TON to USC.

5. Does the trash-talking team ever win? I would like to present no evidence whatsoever but make the claim the more you talk before a game, the less likely you are to win. It’s not because it provides extra motivation, but because the better team tends to keep its mouth shut. Oregon has been on the other side of this so I’m not coming down on USC here.

6. Save some space for Talmadge Jackson III praise. Jackson seemed to have a great game. It’s easy to miss some things watching on TV, but my general impression was positive. Like you, I’ve made a joke or two about Jackson’s coverage before and I think it’s only fair to point out when he does well. Chip Kelly seems to confirm this having said it was Jackson’s best game of the year.

7. Teams are going to have to stop keying on James. Darron Thomas is lighting up defenses. In a conference with Andrew Luck, Matt Barkley, Jake Locker and Nick Foles, Thomas currently is the second highest-rated QB. So what’s the result when teams devote more resources to stopping the pass? No idea. What could possibly happen? Are there actually more points and yards available in the course of a game?

I asked Oregon to assist with SearchBag this week, but they were busy preparing. USC was the backup plan and they were more than happy to help. Really appreciate it, guys.

• matt barkley tweet oregon (Google Search in West Covina, CA)

Word for word, it was: “Wow, Brock just got rocked. Lesnar is to Oregon
as Velasquez is to SC. Lezgo.”

• rt chip kelly usc (Google Search in Stanford, CA)

No one from USC could find a retweet from Kelly. That’s because he’s not on Twitter. But if he was…

• matt barkley tried to delete tweet (Google Search in Minot, ND)

Backup QB Mitch Mustain: Okay, this is off the record, but I thought it was kind of a bitch move. Seriously, either say it or don’t.

• oregon response to matt barkley tweet (Google Search in Clarcona, FL)

Mustain again: Don’t tell anyone I said this either, but I saw this one post on an Oregon blog where it had coach Kiffin and Golden Boy role-playing how the tweet happened. Total LULZ. I was like, ROFLMAO for an hour. And now every time you search “matt barkley twitter” it shows up. Genius!

(Please, please let him get hurt. I want to play!)

• finding alternate ways of saying the same thing (Google Search in Edison, NJ)

Matt Barkley: I was just hangin’ at the mall with my boyz and it hit me! Old Navy is to Oregon as Abercrombie is to SC!

OTP: Is Abercrombie better than Old Navy?

Barkley: Are you making a joke?

• face expression (Google Search in Samarinda, Kalimantan Timur)

USC Fans: We keep having this dream and in it, all we see is this:

• what is duck football (Google Search in Kent, WA)

Defensive tackle Jurrell Casey: No clue. Is it some sort of bath toy?

• facts about oregon ducks (Google Search in Beaumont, Texas)

USC wide receiver Ronald Johnson: FACT. They ain’t never seen it like this before. We ’bout to show them Hollywood, baby! FACT.

• “they have decent athletes” (Google Search in Portland, OR)

Head coach Lane Kiffin: First off, tell coach Kelly it takes way longer than 45 seconds to add up the stars. I’ve been doing this all day. I’m still not done and you’re pressing me to meet deadline. I’m over here freaking out. Meanwhile, I have no idea how to beat Oregon. This is pointless!

• the most innovative football coach (Google Search in London, England)

Defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin: Oh that’s me by far! Consider what I did this week.

1. Ordered Life Alert from one of those infomercials.
2. Watched 60 Minutes in less than an hour.
3. Caught Jay Leno every night. (Side note: he’s hilarious!)
4. Filled in at my wife’s bridge club.
5. Designed an entirely brand new defense to face Oregon.

Find me another coach who can do all that and still has time to make up a whole new defense. You can’t!

• usc & duck football (Google Search in La Jolla, CA)

Former head coach Pete Carroll: You know what I think? You wanna’ know what I think of that gimmick spread offense crap? Do you really wanna’ know what I think of the team that ran me out of the Pac-10?

• cliff harris facts (Google Search in Eugene, OR)

Safety and former high school teammate T.J. McDonald: Here’s a fact. I’m better than Cliff Harris. Always have been. If he’s the cheese on top of the nachos, I’d have to be, like, jalapenos or something. Nah, scratch that one. If they’re calling Cliff “Kash,” that would make me a brick of gold. That’s recession proof!

Thanks again to USC for the assist this week. Be back next Friday with an all-Washington edition of SearchBag. It’s like all of life’s little moments have been adding up to that post.

In the meantime, we’ll always have Twitter. Well, only if you dare follow Off The Pond. It’s just not the same without me. #itprobablyis

• Matt Barkley’s showing promise, blah, blah, blah. Let’s get to the real point here. In the linked article, SI’s Stewart Mandel pointed readers to the correct blog post that obsessively documented Barkley’s tweet last Saturday. This one. Ted Miller, in a post about trash-talking, chose some other site. Therefore, I’m endorsing Mandel for sports writer in 2010. You got my vote, Stu (Stew?).
• Readers: “What is wrong with the guy who writes this stuff?”
• Apparently, USC defensive coordinator and dad extraordinaire Monte Kiffin was on a short list for the Ducks head job that ultimately went to Rich Brooks in 1976.
• LaMichael James used to try and race light. That’s right, light. Didn’t work then, still can’t do it now, but he’s faster than most humans and that’s good enough.
• Oregon goes for it on fourth down more than any other team in the top 25. I can’t watch a team punt on 4th and 1 from the 50 anymore. It’s painful.
• An old rival from Chip Kelly’s New Hampshire days says Kelly always has something different for every team he faces.
• This headline says “Trojans won’t hand Pac-10 baton to Oregon without a fight.” Um, Fight On, but this isn’t up to USC.
• When Chip says he isn’t aware of something or doesn’t listen to outside influences, I just laugh because he is all-knowing. Case in point, he fires back at Lane Kiffin and says it took him only 45 seconds to count USC’s 4 and 5-star players.
• Pac-10 media day for basketball yielded Washington as the conference front-runner with Oregon picked last. It’s upside-down football season and I want nothing to do with it right now.
• Darron Thomas gave his high school coach (and wife) his Rose Bowl and Holiday Bowl rings and made ‘em cry like babies. Sweet kid, that guy.
• Chip Kelly mentions not really having a bad practice this year. It’s pretty rare to never hear a coach bad-mouth at least one practice throughout a season.
• The Wall Street Journal is the latest national media outlet to document Oregon’s pace of play. But did you know they aren’t the fastest? The article mentions both Oklahoma and Oklahoma State run plays quicker than the Ducks.

Matt Barkley as, duh, Brock Lesnar

I know, I know, it's low-hanging fruit, but it gets us started.

Pat Forde as a Boise State Bus Driver

I'd like to think if Pat Forde really were a bus driver, he'd have a sweet arm tattoo.

Cameron Newton as Jeremiah Masoli, Masoli as Newton

In a Halloween primetime special called Figure it Out!, ABC asks Masoli and Newton to dress up as each other, gives them one laptop, an open window and a backpack and says Figure it Out!.

Figure it Out!

Lou Holtz as 1988 Lou Holtz

Lou thinks if he goes as his 1988 self, people will find him less crazy when he says something like, “Notre Dame can beat Navy.”

Is this a picture of Lou in 1988? I don't know. Probably.

Mike Singletary and Alex Smith as Jim Harbaugh and Andrew Luck

At the request of 49ers fans, coach and quarterback will dress up on Sunday as the more popular Bay Area duo. It’s questionable that people in London will understand.

A 2011 sneak peak.

Les Miles as Mad Hatter

I know it's an easy choice, but some respect for the Photoshop effort, please.

Boise State as…Themselves?

The Broncos are just going to go as themselves. If Halloween likes it, so be it. If not, well, to hell with the holiday.

The number 3 is brought to you by...GLASS CEILINGS AND THE BCS

Tennessee coach Derek Dooley as Erwin Rommel teaching his first love: SHOWER DISCIPLINE!

I'll just say, searching for PG-rated shower pictures is always best done with Google safe search ON

Bullseye's there, but it's a lot harder to hit than you'd think.

Sometimes, I just confuse myself with headlines. But I think it makes sense. After all, it’s time to throw out what you thought you knew about Oregon vs. USC. It’s a new era and that means new rules.

USC gets to take on the underdog persona, Oregon has the honor of being the nation’s target. When David becomes Goliath, he’s just in the way of someone else who wants to wear the crown.

Auburn, Boise, TCU…any of you rooting for Oregon? Didn’t think so.

The Trojans are taking the role to heart. Try this headline for example: “Ducks are exactly what Trojans need.” These are the types of things that get said when a team is outmatched. No one “needs” to play Oregon right now. It’s akin to elective surgery to have your heart removed.

I know, I know, that headline is a media-inspired opinion and not a direct quote. But it seems to be the overall sentiment swirling around Troy. Trojan fans are organizing a red-out on Facebook. Huh? USC doesn’t do that. They show up and treat you like a dog treats a fire hydrant.

But Lane Kiffin has changed how his team practices just hoping USC can keep up with Oregon.

And did you hear, this is going to be USC’s bowl game. Isn’t that the attitude of a 1-9 team Washington in November? Say what you will about NCAA sanctions forcing that sentiment, it’s just not something USC says about playing anyone.

Sure, it’s not like this game is new to the national stage. It’s the seventh straight meeting where both teams have been ranked. But how many of those did Oregon spend the week as an overwhelming favorite? Uh, none.

Favorites in 2007 and 2009, perhaps, but nothing like this. Certainly nothing that would inspire the Trojans star quarterback to willfully embrace the underdog role (yep, just referenced the tweet again. Ain’t done, either.).

What does it mean? We’re still learning. As an Oregon fan, everything feels like cause to panic. You see USC gearing up for this like so many games you remember at Autzen Stadium when a BYU, an Iowa, a Michigan State, a Michigan, an Oklahoma would come to town and you think, uh oh.

Oregon’s handled the spotlight flawlessly so far and no one has been able to deliver a decisive punch to date. USC is going to land a few, but it’ll take 60 minutes of haymakers to drop the Ducks. Is that something USC can do? We’ll find out.

.

.

.

.

Wait,wait, wait. We’ll find out? What a cop-out. The answer is NO.

What? Do I look impartial to you?

• As Matt Barkley’s life in Twitter turns. The sophomore quarterback says his tweet “had nothing to do with Oregon.” So we can put that to bed…psych! Yeah, right. I’m milking this all week. Like a commenter said, I have no life, so what else am I going to do?
• Of course, Barkley can play. He’s having a big year and will extensively test the Ducks defense.
• If you wanted an answer as to why Bob Stoops punted down 9 to Missouri on Saturday, he’s happy to give it. Stoops, with a glorious loser mentality, was worried a failed attempt would lead to more Missouri points and make Oklahoma look worse. I hope the BCS propaganda machine puts that on the front of its website.
• How do I introduce this next link without gushing about Chip Kelly? I can’t. Kelly’s ability to motivate is equally as good as his tactical skills. Please be my head coach, forever.
• See, I told you he can motivate. Kelly’s so good, he has every-day people buying a book he didn’t even write.
• In case you were expecting TV news Monday about the Washington game, the decision has been delayed a week. It will be on ABC, either at 12:30 or 5 p.m.
• Darron Thomas is a Davey O’Brien semifinalist along with 15 other quarterbacks, though Cam Newton has purportedly already won the award.
• Oregon loves the opposition’s annoying song on repeat and so it is that the Trojans’ “Conquest” is blaring at practice.
• Jon Wilner in audio form! Yes! Although, this is not how I thought he’d sound. Was expecting something far more nasally. Kinda’ depressed. He sounds like he’s leaning Trojans, but doesn’t call his shot yet.
• Pictures are so much easier to process than words. Well, they have those, too. But not too many. California Golden Blogs presents “Pac-10 Photostories“.
• ASU has shown USC the way in how to stop Oregon. You have to tackle.

USC quarterback Matt Barkley believes it and wasted no time calling his shot on Twitter (since removed and this post updated).

Two thoughts:

(1) Barkley is still a minor and is illegally consuming adult beverages.
(2) He’s probably drinking and watching UFC with Lane Kiffin. I’m guessing the conversation went like this:

Kiffin: Dude, this Zima rocks. Thought it was discontinued. How’d you score it?
Barkley: Huh? I’m Matt Barkley. I can get whatever I want.
Kiffin: Totally. You’re so money, bro. You know what we should do?
Barkley: Don’t say it, I already know.

(Barkley grabs bottle of Peach Schnapps.)

Kiffin: Shots!
Barkley: F’n’ shots, bro!
Kiffin: F’n?
Barkley: Mom said I shouldn’t swear.

Kiffin: I’m so wasted! Hey, you got Twitter on that iPhone?
Barkley: Yeah why?
Kiffin: You should tweet something about Oregon.
Barkley: Why me?
Kiffin: Hey, I’m the responsible one. Whoa, did you see that?! Lesnar just got his teeth kicked in!
Barkley: Oh, snap! That was tight, bro! Dude, I’m totally gonna’ do it.

(Types…)

Hellz yeah, check what I wrote!

Kiffin: Nice!
Barkley: Nice.

(An hour passes)

Barkley’s mom: Matthew! Are you on the Twitters again!?
Barkley: Oh no. No-no-no-no-no-no! Dude, hide the schnapp’s! Hide it!
Barkley’s mom: Open the door Matthew or so help me God!

(Delete’s Tweet, Opens Door)

Barkley’s mom: What’s going on in here? Lane? Does Monte know you’re here?
Kiffin: Hi, Mrs. Barkley. Dad went to bed a long time ago. I’m just watchin’ some TV with Matt. We’re cool.
Barkley: Alright you two. I don’t want to find out about any funny business, you hear?
Kiffin/Barkley: Yes ma’am.

Obligatory note brought to you by Chip Kelly: Oregon doesn’t prepare according to outside influences and could care less what Barkley says.