On the Season
Straight Up: 16-3
Against the Spread: 6-11

Posted spreads are from sportsbook.com at time of publishing.

UCLA @ Oregon State (Sat., Prime Ticket, 12:30 p.m.)
An early candidate for Pac-12 game of the year, no doubt. Of  course, this is the one where the Beavers win and then immediately rip off a long winning streak and put themselves in the title hunt before losing to Oregon. Or maybe they just lose to UCLA. I don’t know.

Straight Up: Oregon State
ATS: Oregon State -5

California @ Washington (Sat., FSN, 12:30 p.m.)
Normally, the official policy of the blog is to not believe in anything Washington does. However, another strict policy is also at play here, one where if you see Cal playing a road game, you just tighten up into the fetal position and wait for impact. Soooo, the Husk-, Hus- oh God I’m gonna throw up.

Straight Up: Washington
ATS: Washington Pick ‘em

Colorado @ Ohio State (Sat., ABC/ESPN2, 12:30 p.m.)
I still don’t know anything about Colorado, but they do seem to generally play football poorly. Of course, Ohio State is countering with an equally ugly brand of their own.I guess Ohio State wins, but it would not be a surprise to see the upset.

Straight Up: Ohio State
ATS: Colorado +16.5

#10 Oregon  @ Arizona (Sat., ESPN2, 7:15 p.m.)
Who hates playing at Arizona? This guy. And so do you. Well, none of us actually play there. But we do watch and drink as well as anyone and I just know the stomach churns a little harder during games in Tuscon. I think the goals when playing at Wildcat Stadium are these in order:

1. Avoid leg injuries to quarterbacks
2. Avoid head injuries from flying bottles
3. Avoid drunken fans on the field before the game is actually over
4. Win

Straight Up: Oregon
ATS: Oregon -15.5 (not a chance I’d lay money on this)

#23 USC @ Arizona State (Sat., ESPN, 7:15 p.m.)
I’ve believed in ASU since the end of last season and I’m not gonna give up just because of one incompetently played game at Illinois. I should, but I won’t.

Straight Up: Arizona State
ATS: Arizona State -2.5

On the Season
Straight Up: 9-0
Against the Spread: 3-6

Posted spreads are from sportsbook.com at time of publishing.

Colorado St. @ Colorado (Sat., FSN, 10:30 a.m.)
I’ll just go with some Pac-12 pride here and pick Colorado across the board. Buffs, we need to learn more about each other. It’s like I hardly know you.

Straight Up: Colorado
ATS: Colorado -7.5

Texas @ UCLA (Sat., ABC, 12:30 p.m.)
Just looking at this game makes me chuckle. No really, it did. I read the header, Texas @ UCLA, and slightly guffawed. This should be must-see TV and instead, it’s…yikes. Next game, please.

Straight Up: UCLA
ATS: UCLA +3.5

Washington @ Nebraska (Sat., ABC, 12:30 p.m.)
Washington, if you think Nebraska as a 17 point favorite after you beat them in the Holiday Bowl is unjust, I suggest you read up on the Nevada Wolfpack. 2011 ain’t 2010. Good luck.

Straight Up: Nebraska
ATS: Nebraska -17

Missouri State @ #12 Oregon (Sat., OSN, 12:30 p.m.)
Uh, see ya next week, Ducks. I’ll pass on this one.

Straight Up: Oregon
ATS: Oregon (if there was a spread, I’d bet Oregon up to about -70. Of course, I’m the guy that took the Ducks at -50 or so last year against PSU. It was a winning ticket, thank you very much. Ok, yeah, degenerate, I am him).

Presbyterian @ California (Sat., 2:30 p.m.)
Ya know, if Cal was playing this on the road, I’d probably just pick the Blue Hose and I’m not sure I’d be wrong.

Straight Up: California
ATS: California (see Ducks above)

Washington State @ San Diego State (Sat., MTN, 3:30 p.m.)
Ah, what the hell, I’ll jump on your stupid bandwagon, Cougs, and I will most certainly regret it.

Straight Up: Washington State
ATS: Washington State +5.5

Arizona State @ Illinois (Sat., Big Ten Network, 4:00 p.m.)
This is a weird point spread. Even considering it’s Arizona State and a road game, the Sun Devils can’t really be underdogs, can they?

Straight Up: Arizona State
ATS: Arizona State +2

Syracuse @ USC (Sat., FX, 5:00 p.m.)
Vegas always gets a ton of money coming in on USC and other LA-based teams what with the close proximity of the two cities. It’s nice to the know that the Pac-12 is now guaranteeing the Trojans to cover. Duly noted.

Straight Up: USC
ATS: USC -16.5

Utah @ BYU (Sat., ESPN2, 6:15 p.m.)
With Utah getting accepted to the Pac-12 and BYU being left behind, I’m guess the Holy War might end up more like an apocalypse. An apocalypse brought on by angry rivals all hopped up on Root Beer and licorice.

Straight Up: Utah
ATS: Utah +4

#6 Stanford @ Arizona (Sat., ESPN, 7:45 p.m.)
10:45 pm start on the east coast? Check
Potential for 100 points and 1,000 yards passing? Check
Broadcast on low definition Fox Sports Net with Steve Physioc on the play-by-play? Dang, we were so close to a perfect throwback, late 1990s Pac-10 game.

Straight Up: Stanford
ATS: Arizona +9

On the Season
Straight Up: 9-3 (“Wait, Nick, if you didn’t know the season started, how are you 9-3?” I don’t know, one of life’s mysteries, I suppose.)
Against the Spread: N/A for now

Posted spreads are from sportsbook.com at time of publishing.

Arizona @ #9 Oklahoma State (Thu., ESPN, 5:30 p.m.)
I swear, I didn’t see the game and I don’t know the outcome, but I do know this: Arizona’s defense is AWESOME and the Wildcats are totally not going to start the season 1-4 after playing this game followed by Stanford, Oregon and USC.

Pressed for a score, I’d say Arizona won 37-14. Yeah, nailed it.

Straight Up: Arizona
ATS: Arizona

#21 Missouri @ Arizona State (Fri., ESPN, 7:30 p.m.)
Hmm, highly biased, uninformed preseason polls based largely on what happened last year say Missouri is the better team. On the other hand, oddsmakers say the Sun Devils are 8.5 point favorites. Who to trust, who to trust?

Straight Up: Arizona State
ATS: Arizona State -8.5

Nevada @ #13 Oregon (Sat., FX, 12:30 p.m.)
Oddly enough, in the last week, Oregon went from national title contending badass team to weak, overpowered, also-rans. It’s a fickle crowd, these national pundits.

Straight Up: Oregon
ATS: Oregon -26.5

Oregon St. @ 8 Wisconsin (Sat., ESPN, 9:00 a.m.)
One of the Beaver fans in my office this week has been all too happy to tell me about Oregon’s shortcomings as an elite program. He might say, “Wow, Oregon just isn’t good enough to beat the SEC. They aren’t elite.”

Fortunately, I have this cool translation machine and I only hear the actual meaning of spoken words. What he really said was, “Holy shit, we lost to Sacramento State and now we have to play at Wisconsin and what is that that’s pee dribbling down my leg oh god oh god it burns!”

Straight Up: Wisconsin
ATS: Wisconsin -20

California @ Colorado (Sat., 12:30 p.m.)
This conference game that’s not really a conference game is one of many reasons I am starting to really hate realignment. And while I’m on the subject, will someone give me my Twitter feed back? All I get to read about is the latest rumor and speculation on who’s joining what conference next. Please, I beg you, stop. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Straight Up: California
ATS: California -6.5

#6 Stanford @ Duke (Sat., ESPNU, 12:30 p.m.)
On a side note, I also got Stanford at -1.5 in the halftime Science Bowl. So there’s the predictable “haha, lookie lookie, two smart schools are playing a football game” joke.

Straight Up: Stanford
ATS: Stanford -20.5

Hawaii @ Washington (Sat., 12:30 p.m.)
Here’s the scene last Saturday. Me, your beloved, but MIA blogger, sitting in a Chelan, WA bar already knowing the Beavers have lost now noticing the Huskies about to implode in their own FCS-induced nightmare and I’m just smiling without a care — oh that thing on the TV over there? That’s just this thing they’re doing in Dallas, don’t worry about it. I said, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!

Straight Up: Washington
ATS: Hawaii +6

UNLV @  Washington State (Sat., 5:00 p.m.)
Nooooo..no, no, no, no, no. I – and I’d like to think the rest of the free world is with me on this – am not ready for Washington State to be a 14 1/2 point favorite with a backup quarterback in any game even if the opponent would go 0-2 in its own spring game.

Straight Up: Washington State
ATS: UNLV +14.5

Utah @ USC (Sat., Versus, 4:30 p.m.)
Ok, so this is a conference game, right? Because that Colorado-Cal thing above, you know, that’s a non-conference game between conference opponents and this has two conference opponents but one of the  teams used to be in a different conference so I just want to make sure that nobody’s confused here before we play this game because God-forbid we count the wins and losses toward the conference race if it’s really just an exhibition. Know what I mean?

Straight Up: USC
ATS: Utah +8.5

San Jose St. @ UCLA (Sat., 7:00 p.m.)
ME AND RICK NEUHEISEL CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONES WHO CARE ABOUT THIS GAME! Hold up, I don’t actually care about this game. Yeah, coach, I guess it is just you. Fortunately, no level of powdered blue apathy can possibly lead to losing to San Jose State. Right?

Straight Up: UCLA
ATS: UCLA -21

As usual, I ask you to not take anything too seriously here. Just enjoy it for what it is, a blog that is more important than any other media covering Oregon football (it’s just a fact, look it up). And please, I beg you, don’t be an OregonLive commenter.

With that said, after the usual prolonged absence, I only thought it right that I pass an aptitude test before allowing myself to take part in the world of college football blogging again. This should reestablish my impeccable credentials. I only missed one. Can you beat that?

Career Skills

1. When you grow up, who would you like to be and why?

Rich Brooks. His Twitter account is 100% awesome. His daily activity of golfing, betting and drinking is my ultimate life destination. Those are the aspirations, Rich Brooks is my guide.

Non-Verbal Reasoning

2. From the bottom row, circle the letter with the corresponding picture that best fits next into the sequence of Willie Lyles photos on the top row.

Business Management

3. Consider the following scenario and then finish each sentence with the correct way to cover the story.

An Oregon Duck player/coach/administrator commits an offense somewhere between marginally questionable and utterly stupid. You are tasked with covering this incident. How would you go about it?

1. Send out a tweet or two to: gauge sensitivity levels on the subject
2. If the freak out levels are satisfactory: file column to Oregonian
3. More tweeting inviting everyone to: tune in to my radio show
4. Discuss topic on radio until: beaten horse has been made into glue
5. Go on TV so that anyone who is bad at the internet and doesn’t own a radio: won’t have to miss out
6. Watch fans: lose their mind
7. Add another: zero to bank account
8. Rinse: and repeat

Mathematics

4. Texas A&M is on a train heading for the SEC and is traveling at 65 miles per hour. Texas is on another train heading to “who the hell cares where we’re heading, we’re goddamn Texas and we go wherever we want as fast as we want, so take your question and shove it up your posterior, son!”

What happens when both trains reach their destination?

SEC, Pac-12 and Big Ten fight to the death for the burnt remainders of the Big 12

Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe accepts job as Texas’ official lap dog

Texas Forever

All of the above

5. For the following consider that x = free tattoos, y = a lying coach and z = NCAA. What is the sum total of the following equation?

xy + z = Probation

History

6. List 5 members of the axis of evil and explain what it is.

List Members:

1. John Canzano
2. Sports by Brooks
3. Gregg Doyel
4. Jon Wilner
5. Everyone else who ever called themselves a journalist because they’re all terrible human beings with unredeemable souls who
   are biased and root for the Beavers and/or Huskies and probably spend their free time meeting with each other at Ke$ha concerts.

Problem Solving

7. A man wanted to enter a strip club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, “twelve.” The member replied, “six” and was let in. A second member came to the door and the doorman said, “six.” The member replied, “three” and was let in. The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said, “ten” and the man replied, “five”. But he was not let in. What should have he said?

Nevin, it’s me, a Miami Hurricane. Stop playing games and let me in so I can make it f—ing rain!

Football

8. The inside zone read is a staple of the Oregon Ducks offense. How effective will this play be against the LSU Tigers and its vaunted SEC defense?

On the Season
Straight Up: 56-15
Against the Spread: 33-32

Posted spreads are from sportsbook.com at time of publishing.

Arizona State @ #23 Arizona (Thu., ESPN, 5:00 p.m.)
Oh, poor Territorial Cup. Bet you thought it was all special and stuff when ESPN gave you a Thursday night game to your self, didn’t you? Unfortunately, TNT’s got this little “Lebron returns to Cleveland” thing going on and I’m pretty sure no one is going to watch your game.

Just so you know, OTP cares about all forms of college football and won’t necessarily give you up for a cheap NBA thrill.

Straight Up: Arizona State
ATS: Arizona State +5

The AP No. 1 team is 95-3-1 in November and December games against teams with losing records. That’s staggering. An upset hasn’t happened since 1976. A loss here would be one of the greatest upsets in the history of college football. So no, I’m not nervous and I’m looking forward to nursing a bottle of champagne through four quarters.

Straight Up: Oregon
ATS: Oregon -16.5

And you know what? I think I’m gonna’ root for it. Well, I’m not sure yet, but hear me out. The Huskies haven’t had a winning season in…God, when was that? I literally have no idea. Maybe OTP stats and research can clue us in. Anyway, this team was 3-6 and it’s safe to say, most gave up on their season. What’s more cruel than coming all the way back to 6-6 only to lose in a bowl game and extend the losing season streak? I mean, that’s the appropriate amount of pain to wish on your enemy, right? I think so. Go Huskies.

Straight Up: Washington State. What? I didn’t say I think they’ll win, only that I might root for them.
ATS: Washington State +6

The game itself is just an awkward meeting of two teams finishing their seasons far earlier than what could be considered normal. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t grow up with this game relegated to east coast slumber time while Oregon and Oregon State duke it out on ABC in the middle of the day. I’m fine with it and don’t really need to relive the past, but it is a tad unusual.

Straight Up: USC
ATS: USC -6.5

In any event, this is the only post I’m going to do. No Click Tales, no SearchBag. It’s just the life of a lazy blogger. I did my best to mail this puppy in just so not to be give the appearance of too much effort.

On the Season
Straight Up: 53-13
Against the Spread: 32-28

Posted spreads are from sportsbook.com at time of publishing.

UCLA @ Arizona State (Fri., FSN, 12:30 p.m.)
Anyone interested? Hello? These guys are going to play a game today whether you like it or not and they will fight to the death to keep alive hopes of a .500 season.

Cox Cable in San Diego may not be showing the game, but at least it’s choosing NHL hockey this time around. Last week, it was Inside Israeli Basketball instead of the Big Game. This has to be Tom Hansen’s fault.

Straight Up: Arizona State
ATS: Arizona State -12.5

Something tells me this one isn’t close, but if it is, Ninkasi’s Total Domination is always waiting in reserve.

Straight Up: Oregon
ATS: Oregon -19.5

Straight Up: California
ATS: California -7

It should involve pretty smiles through gritted teeth while we “root” each other on.

As a peace offering, he gets the pick against the spread here. Like hell I’m giving up the straight up pick, though. I mean, let’s be real. Hi BOTB!

Straight Up: Stanford
ATS: Oregon State +13.5

Straight Up: USC
ATS: USC -4.5

I am aware this is a day later than usual, but when it comes to the health of every team, I take no shortcuts.

1. Oregon Ducks.
Symptoms: Tries too hard to be perfect. Freaks out when it gets a B+. Possible burnout victim.

Diagnosis: Bcsiasis

Prescription: Two teaspoons of Juswinamovon. Recommended dosage is one teaspoon on Nov. 26, one more on Dec. 4.

2. Stanford Cardinal.
Symptoms: Shows excessive levels of rage. Often bullies others beyond the point of acceptance. Needs a parental figure to tell them no, but few are willing or able.

Diagnosis: Harbaughcos

Prescription: Best to let this one play out naturally. Time should heal the issue, letting the Harbaughcos find an NFL host to infect.

3. Oregon State Beavers.
Symptoms: Lets the company it keeps affect its behavior. Patient knows better, but refuses wins when it should absolutely take them.

Diagnosis: Rejective Winning Syndrome

Prescription: Apply Badlosses Begone cream directly to record. If the medication doesn’t take, wait one year and try again.

4. USC Trojans.
Symptoms: Suffered third degree burns over the summer. Healing has been slow, showing signs of extreme paranoia.

Diagnosis: Ncaaphobia

Prescription: Unfortunately, they’ll need to stay on their regular medication of Probationetin for another two years.

5. Arizona Wildcats.
Symptoms: Easily influenced by simple setbacks which tends to cause a snowball effect creating larger problems that ultimately result in no Rose Bowl. Coaching is generally good, but perhaps comes with a ceiling.

Diagnosis: Stoopsinson Disease

Prescription: Needs to seriously consider going on experimental drug called Noletupen. To be safe, should be taken prior to every game and especially after losses.

6. Cal Bears.
Symptoms: Not getting enough exercise, prone to cramping. Easily contracts illness outside of Berkeley. When things not going well, shows tendency to shut down.

Diagnosis: Fakeria

Prescription: Hydration levels are satisfactory. To avoid cramping, ignore coaches. To stave off illness, take two pills of Focusin whenever on the road.

7. Arizona State Sun Devils.
Symptoms: Doesn’t perform the simple tasks. Has been seen missing extra points which leads to excessive losing. Showing early signs of coach doubting.

Diagnosis: Kickerthelioma

Prescription: One injection of Extra Pointicide. Also, begin taking precautionary dosage of Bellotioxi for future health.

8. Washington Huskies.
Symptoms: Losing teeth leading to alarming lack of bite. Most Sark-led attacks inflict great damage to victims. It is concerning that most prey are able to fight back and overwhelm their attacker.

Diagnosis: non-Heisman Lockerphoma

Prescription: Need more “we’re back” in the bloodstream, take a capsule of Triagin Nexyear.

9. UCLA Bruins.
Symptoms: Diet severely lacking in daily recommended consumption of passing yardage. Emits an offensive odor which can also be written as “offense stinks.”

Diagnosis: Lackaquarterbackisis, oncoming case of badcoachical

Prescription: Add a daily vitamin called Recruitmobettuh

10. Washington State Cougars.
Symptoms: Normal behavior shows dejection, lack of ability. Lately, overcome with strong sense of confidence.

Diagnosis: Looks like they stopped taking their meds.

Prescription: Behavior is what we want to see. We recommend ceasing dependence on Losermax pills. Should continue to monitor behavior.

Image courtesy of http://www.marktoon.co.uk/people.htm (with an obvious personal alteration).

1. Oregon Ducks: “Home Bears! No! Nononono! Stop Home Bears! Stop Home Bears! Make it stop!”

OTP Dream Analyzer: It’s okay, the blog’s right here. It’s all over now. It’s aaaallll over.

2.

Normally, we could give a damn about a player’s dreams, but did you see what Anthony did at the end of the game Saturday? Did something really bad just happen here?”

OTP Dream Analyzer: Uh. Oh. I saw him sit down instead of running into the end zone so he could run out the clock. You guys were up four so it preserved the win, but I see what you’re saying here. 4+6=MORE THAN 4.5. Listen, I’d love to help, but I’m afraid to go there. Stanford probably has some good lawyers. I’ll be happy to refer you out to someone else.

It was all a dream
We used to be the number one team
Will Ferrell, Snoop D oh Double G, up in the limousine
Hangin’ pictures in the Hall
Every Saturday, Pass Attack, Mr. Bush, Pete Carroll (CARE-ALL)
We let our game rock til our program popped
Smokin’ teams and dreams, steppin’ on your private jock
We blew up then lost all the fame
Call the Pac, same name, faded game
It’s all lame

Uh, and if you don’t know, now you know, sucka’, uh

OTP Dream Analyzer: You’re dream starts with the words “It was all a dream?” Hmm, heavy stuff. I think the reference here is the 2005 season. I checked, though, and none of what you are describing happened. I couldn’t find a picture of Reggie Bush hanging in Heritage Hall. Pete Carroll doesn’t even exist there. You say you were the number one team? These NCAA records say you didn’t even play a game that year. That’s a wacky dream.

OTP Dream Analyzer: So this is like a pre-dream with your eyes shut, but not quite asleep? I think it represents a specific bowl game that is always within your immediate consciousness, but not exactly meant to be understood or attained. Kinda’ one of those look but don’t touch things.

OTP Dream Analyzer: Quiet, everyone! Cal’s still sleeping and they are absolutely, positively about to beat Oreg—ah, Chip! Why’d you go and wake them? You’re such a jerk!

Since you’re up Cal, do you still want the blog’s dream analysis? Go “WHAT?” myself? How dare you!

OTP Dream Analyzer: Ah, yes. Very common theme here and an easy case to crack. If you want it to go away, win a close game. The easiest solution would be to make an extra point.

7. UCLA Bruins: “Please, help. We keep taking a test over and over again. It’s the same type of examination, but the subject varies from week to week and we just seem to have a lot of trouble finishing it. Sometimes, we can’t find the room to take the test. Other times, we forget a #2 pencil or we have one and it breaks halfway through. A lot of the time, though, we just feel really unprepared. Mind you, there are those times where the dream goes perfectly, but they just feel too few and far between.”

OTP Dream Analyzer: Really, you don’t see what’s going on here? Let me lay it out for you. Not being able to find the room is your fan apathy. The #2 pencil is the quarterback. Feeling unprepared is the coaching. You need to fix all of that or else the dream will never end.

8.

OTP Dream Analyzer: I’m sorry to cut you off, I really am, but you need to snap the hell out of it. That’s not a dream. That really happens every damn Saturday! It’s gross and, frankly, I’m a little shocked you’ve let it go on this long.

OTP Dream Analyzer: You won a Pac-10 game!

10. Oregon State Beavers:

OTP Dream Analyzer: I’m not surprised, OSU. We often have this dream when we are feeling overwhelmed in life and ready to give up. The problem here – and I think we’re past being gentle so I’m just going to be blunt - the problem here is that you didn’t deal with a major problem in real life and everything’s out of control. Do a hard analysis and fix it. I’d suggest starting with the defense. And check that offensive line, too. Perhaps spend a minute on a few coaching decisions. I have a lot of confidence in this analysis so this one’s pro bono. Good luck.

A win is a win is a win is a win is a win. Should I go on?

1. Wait, you thought this was going to be easy? EASY!? Well,  yeah, me too. Look at all the teams with one loss right now. Some of them look unbeatable. Wisconsin goes for 83 points? Ohio State running down everyone they play? LSU with the quality wins it has? All good teams, but somewhere along the way, each of them got beat. Why? Because it’s freaking hard to go undefeated. A 15-13 win over Cal does not bother me at all. In fact, I’m ecstatic. This isn’t just a rare season, it’s completely unprecedented. Who cares if you have to win a close one?

2. Didn’t like going for it on 4th down? I say go for it again! Chip Kelly went for it on two fourth downs in his own half of the field on the game’s first drive. Some are questioning the call after the second attempt failed. I completely disagree. You’re asking Chip to change a coaching philosophy that is largely responsible for a 10-0 record. Sometimes, it fails, but if you question going for it on fourth down, you should also question two point conversions and so many other risky moves Chip has made.

3. Another team has the blueprint, oh my! Cal defensive back Chris Conte said “The rest of the Pac-10 can take notice,” about the Bears effort to slow Oregon’s offense. Ok, I guess someone should tell Chip, yeah?

4. Missed field goals at the start of the fourth quarter do not decide games. Oregon still had an entire quarter to make up for it had they gone down 16-15. Sure, it might have become the difference, but there was still too much game left to play. In my opinion, the two-point conversion was a much bigger deal. If it fails, Cal kicks two extra points and wins by one. But that’s an “if” game, too and each action throughout a game influences the next action. Butterfly effect, ya’ know?

5. Might want to tone down the injury booing, Duck fans. Then again, if coaches are going to be that blatant with a bush league tactic, I guess you get what you get.

6. Finally, Darron Thomas proves you can’t win ‘em all while breaking in a sophomore quarterback. Or not. This was why we all tempered our enthusiasm for the 2010 season, right? It’s hard enough for a veteran quarterback to go undefeated so forget about it with a first-time starter. And yet, in Thomas’ worst game of the season, the one we all expected at some point on the road, the team rallied and found a way to win via special teams and defense.

7. The offensive line sure didn’t help. It was hard to fairly judge performances from the end zone in a stadium that runs replays with the frequency of a lunar eclipse. But it was still possible to tell Thomas was under more pressure than usual and running lanes were nonexistent. I’m no connoisseur of offensive line play and won’t pretend to have the answers, but a week off will hopefully result in some corrections against Arizona, another good defensive team.

8. Rankings aren’t based on week-to-week results. Most people get this and that’s why the Ducks maintained their ranking in the polls. But some voters dropped Oregon and that’s unfair. How do you penalize a team for winning on the road in a season that has been otherwise spectacular? Opinions seem to be swayed fairly easily without regard to the whole season. Not that it matters or anything.

9. The blog finally contributed to a win outside of writing really important* words during the week. Don’t believe me, just ask quarterback Brock Mansion. He said after the game that crowd noise was a factor on the missed field goal in the fourth quarter. That’s not how home field advantage is supposed to work.

10. Oh, by the way, CLIFF HARRIS! That is all. Happy bye week.

*No, seriously. Every word here is of critical importance. Pay attention.

On the Season
Straight Up: 48-11
Against the Spread: 30-23

Posted spreads are from sportsbook.com at time of publishing.

Washington State @ Oregon State (Sat., FSN, 1:00 p.m.)
There are three levels to a season for a northwest team.

(1) Conference champion
(2) Rick Neuheisel Fictional Northwest Champion
(3) State champion

Conference champion doesn’t seem incredibly likely for either team, but northwest pride is on the line. So there’s your reason to watch.

Straight Up: Oregon State
ATS: Oregon State -23.5

The first one left Arizona State with a 20-19 loss at Wisconsin. The second one came last weekend where a blocked extra point was returned for a two-point score in a game USC would win 34-33.

If these things are linear, then what’s the next logical way for ASU to lose? I think this is the scenario:

:03 on the clock (touchdown) – ASU scores TD to go up by seven points
:03 (extra point) – Stanford blocks and returns for a two-point score, only down by five
:03 (kickoff) – Stanford returns squib kick for a TD on the strength of 15 laterals and wins by one, extra point not necessary.

Straight Up: Stanford
ATS: Stanford -5.5

Truthfully, what you really need to be worried about is that the blog is 0-2 lifetime while attending bay area games.

But nobody loses forever. And this Saturday, in the name of Stephen T. Colbert, we gon’ hunt us some Bears and keep this march to Glendale on a steady, destructive path.

Straight Up: Oregon
ATS: Oregon -20

The Wildcats had Rose Bowl in mind when they started the season. USC figured it could win the Pac-10 and put an asterisk next to whichever team took its spot in Pasadena.

It hasn’t exactly gone that way., but both teams have still been pretty good and can finish in the top three. The Wildcats need to pick up quick after a tough loss at Stanford.

Straight Up: Arizona
ATS: Arizona -4