As convoluted as the Pac-10 race may seem, it’s actually pretty simple. Arizona and Oregon control their own destiny. The rest do not. Of course, if those two teams add a loss, then it gets interesting. On to the rankings.

1. Oregon (7-2, 5-1)
I ain’t worried. Seriously, I’m not worried. Oregon’s body of work is still too good to justify anyone else at the top. With two of three at home and its closest competitor still having a game at USC, the Ducks remain in a great position.

2. Arizona (6-2, 4-1)
I’m taking the same approach I used with Oregon and USC before. The Wildcats have to beat Oregon to earn the top spot. From what I’ve seen this year, the Ducks are still the top team in the Pac-10 regardless of what happened in Palo Alto. It’s shaping up to be a huge game in the desert between the Pac-10’s leaders.

3. Oregon State (6-3, 4-2)
If OSU and Stanford both win out and Arizona loses to at least Oregon and USC, Oregon State is Rose Bowl bound. Didn’t see that one coming and it’s more plausible than I realized. And by “more plausible,” I mean its likelihood is slightly above “no chance in hell.” With only the Washington schools left before the Civil War, we can pretty much bank on the Beavers entering the game at 6-2.

4. Stanford-(6-3, 5-2)
They did a great job against Oregon, but I’m not convinced they have staying power. Their style of play matched up really well with a depleted and undersized Oregon defense. USC has the size and power to handle Stanford and with the game in L.A. this week, I’m betting on the Trojans.

5. USC (7-2, 4-2)
I don’t like the way they’re playing. However, at home, this team is pretty much unbeatable. Stanford won’t have their way with USC the way they did with Oregon and we should see the Trojans move up quickly.

6. California (6-3, 3-3)
The Jahvid Best touchdown play was about as crazy a thing as you will see in football. It’s unbelievable all he got was a concussion. Head injuries are a serious deal, but in this case, it’s a good thing compared to what could have been. Aside from that, the Bears just aren’t as good as we all thought this season. Jeff Tedford is establishing quite the trend of underachieving teams.

7. Arizona State (4-5, 2-4)
They shouldn’t have played USC that close, right? Sure, they have a good defense, but the offense is pretty anemic. They should provide a good bounce back opponent for the Ducks this week.

8. UCLA (4-5, 1-5)
Congratulations Bruins! You snapped a five game losing streak and ensured a strong likelihood of the Huskies continuing their run of losing seasons that pleases Duck fans to no end.

9. Washington (3-6, 2-4)
The Huskies are back alright. Well, back in the standings where they’ve been for the last few years, at least. Washington is now firmly en route to yet another losing season.

10.Washington State (1-8, 0-6)
Arizona did what everyone does and dismantled a very bad team. How do the Cougars recover from this mess?

Some clarity is found in the top three this week, though I think Arizona could easily fall off in time. As I’ve said before, USC is staying in first until Oregon beats them. It’s my personal campaign to underrate and motivate the team. I can see them now…”Off The Pond thinks were no good! Let’s prove that guy wrong!” Yep, I’m doing my job.

1. USC (6-1, 3-1)
There are some definite vulnerabilities in this team. USC could be in for a rude treatment in Eugene, but I doubt the Trojans will yield its 7-year reign without a serious fight.

2. Oregon (6-1, 4-0)
As a fan, I’m starting to reach 2007 levels of confidence. Very afraid of what happens from here.

3. Arizona (5-2, 3-1)
Five turnovers against UCLA is cause for concern. I’m still not convinced this is the third best team in the Pac-10, but they already beat two of the three candidates for that spot.

4. Oregon State (4-3, 2-2)
It’s more of a hunch than anything the record is showing. They already beat Stanford and Cal needs to beat somebody good before we can pronounce them all the way back.

5. Stanford (5-3, 4-2)
Great at home, bad on the road. It’s just the way it is with Stanford. Unfortunately for Oregon, the Cardinal have the advantage of both a bye and its home field when the Ducks come to Palo Alto in two weeks.

6. California (5-3, 2-2)
They’re on the way back. Sorta’. It’s hard to tell against UCLA and Washington State. There is still a lot of room to move in the standings and we may very well find out Cal is the third best team in this conference by the end of the year. Or not. I don’t really know.

7. Arizona State (4-3, 2-2)
An enigma from one week to the next, but they mostly look like a team destined to miss out on a bowl for the second straight year. If it’s any consolation, they could be the best of what looks like an obvious bottom four.

8. Washington (3-5, 2-3)
It’s looking like an end to the consecutive losing seasons will have to wait another year. Games still remain against Cal and Oregon State and I can’t see them winning either.

9. UCLA (3-4, 0-4)
It’s looking messy in Pasadena. The offense is really, really terrible and they tried three quarterbacks against Arizona State. Washington State might be thinking they have a shot at winning a Pac-10 game.

10.Washington State (1-6, 0-5)
The moral victory parade continues as yet again, the Cougars lose to an opponent by less than they did a year ago.

The Pac-10 is messy. Very, very messy. Not even Bounty (you know the quilted quicker picker upper) could handle this filthy, disgusting mess. Fortunately, Oregon is bringing clarity to it all with its astounding dominance, but in an attempt to provide motivation through my overly important blogging, they have to settle for second.

1. USC (4-1, 2-1)
I made a decision to leave USC number one so long as they and Oregon remain with one loss each heading into the Halloween showdown. Coach Kelly, remember to collect this “chip” for your team’s shoulder ala Cougar head man Paul Wulff. You can thank me later for the inspiration.

2. Oregon (5-1, 3-0)
The Ducks are good and probably playing the best of anyone in the conference. But don’t forget Oregon, USC is still ranked ahead of you in every poll.

3. Oregon State (4-2, 2-1)
And just like that, with the simple flip of a calendar month, Oregon State is winning again. No one should be surprised at this point, but it gets me every year. An argument could still be made for Stanford, but their extra win against Washington State doesn’t really mean anything.

4. Stanford (4-2, 3-1)
Stanford, you let me down. I believed in you. Whatever that was you did at Oregon State, don’t do it again. You can still be a top four team.

5. Washington (3-2, 2-1)
Nothing about the Husky’s season surprises me including the ridiculous turn of events that led to them pulling a win out of a sure loss against Arizona. Let’s face it, October 24 is a spooky Halloween prelude for the Ducks.

6. Arizona (3-2, 1-1)
Typical Wildcats. You keep thinking they are finally living up to the paper victories on the recruiting trail and they always disappoint.

7. California (3-2, 0-2)
A bye week can be a wonderful thing in that other teams have an opportunity to display enough ineptitude to lift your own perception by default. In person, UCLA looked bad. On paper, so did ASU. So Cal, you get a bump.

8. UCLA (3-2, 0-2)
Rick Neuheisel, just as he did a year ago in a brutal home loss to Oregon State, took the mic after losing to Oregon and apologized to the home fans while imp0loring them to stick it out. I got over the Neuheisel hatred a long time ago, so I’m not sure I really care one way or the other about his current predicament. What I do know is that Oregon’s defense had a lot more to do with the Bruins ineptitude than L.A. folk are giving credit for.

9. Arizona State (3-2, 1-1)
The Sun Devils have a winning record which is about all the good you can afford to say on a day when they only managed a 13 point win against Washington State. Add that Georgia got clobbered by Tennessee and the close road loss to the Bulldogs doesn’t even seem that impressive.

10.Washington State (1-5, 0-4)
One the one hand, losing by only 13 at home could be considered a moral victory. On the other, the 27-14 score convinces me that the opponent, Arizona State, isn’t very good.

I’ll do some straight-forward rankings this week. Wouldn’t want to confuse anyone again with anymore blatant and obvious sarcasm.

For what it’s worth, if you take issue with my top three, I did it three different times putting each of the teams in the number one spot until I finally settled on the current order.

1. USC (4-1, 2-1)
Like I said, I wrote this two other ways with both Stanford and Oregon number one before settling on the Trojans. These guys are the long-standing champ and while I’d pick Oregon to win head-to-head right now, there’s something about the Trojan mystique in big games that just makes you feel like you have to beat them to deserve the top spot.

2. Stanford (4-1, 3-0)
This is more of a nod to their 3-0 record than anything else. They have looked great and should be ranked. I’m sold on them in the top three of the conference and I wouldn’t be surprised to see their only two losses come against Oregon and USC. Most teams are going to have a hard time stopping their rushing attack behind Toby Gerhart.

3. Oregon (4-1, 2-0)
I want to see Oregon on the road this week before anointing them all the way back from the opening game debacle in Boise. I don’t think there’s a team playing better football than the Ducks in the Pac-10 at the moment, but they also are coming off of a four game homestand which can be very comforting. Games at UCLA and Washington this month will give a more complete indication of the Duck’s national worthiness.

4. Arizona (3-1, 1-0)
I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’m not sold on Arizona yet. The win on the road at Oregon State came in September and everyone beats the Beavers in the first month. The rest of the conference hasn’t performed that well, so I think they’re fourth best more by default than by merit. A win at Washington this week would be good, but not enough to change my mind yet.

5. Oregon State (3-2, 1-1)
Hmmm, the Beavers just won a game they might have been expected to lose just after you had written them off. Must be October. I think scientists should investigate how it’s possible for a team to perform so poorly in September, then be so good in the months that follow. Since 2004, the Beavers are 9-12 in September and 31-11 in every other month.

6. Washington (2-3, 1-1)
This is a classic “next year” team that can ruin your present season. They just don’t quite have the “it” factor to contend at the top, but they certainly have enough – especially at home – to beat anyone on any given day. Oregon beware.

7. UCLA (3-1, 0-1)
They failed the Stanford test, mostly for a lack of offense. Based on what I saw, they’ll win a few games on the strength of their defense, but they don’t seem to be a threat to the top three.

8. Arizona State (2-1)
It doesn’t look like much is going right in Tempe. They got blitzed early by Oregon State and didn’t have a competent enough offense to make up for it. The bottom three teams, as of early October, look set to me. Maybe Cal gets it turned around, but I think ASU is in for a long season.

9. California (3-2, 0-2)
The Bears now have six points in conference play through two games. It might be too early to say it, but seriously, Andy Ludwig? Was that really the best hire? I’m no longer sure Cal is even a bowl team. It’s one thing to lose to the top teams in the conference, but it’s a whole other story when the margin of defeat has been 72-6.

10.Washington State (1-4, 0-3)
Instead of mocking the Cougars this week, I’m taking the high road. I’m just not going to say anything at all.

This week’s rankings are sponsored by the Harris and Coaches’ polls. Select members of each agreed to give me fake answers to some pressing questions about the reasoning behind their votes. Upon review, I’m nervous that the people deciding on these matters may be a problem.

1. USC (2-1)
Les Miles, LSU head coach (Coaches):

“What choice do I have? The Trojans never have to play tough teams in conference play. They sure as hell wouldn’t ever lose to one of those Pac-10 patsies so, duh, I put them first.”

2. Cal (3-1)
Oklahoma Sooners coach Bob Stoops (Coaches):

“Are you serious? Trust me when I say that just because Oregon wins a game, it doesn’t mean they really won, ok? I’m operating under the assumption Cal won and am voting them here.”

3. Oregon (3-1)
Eugene Register-Guard columnist George Schroeder (Harris):

“I was a columnist in Oklahoma back when the Sooners visited Autzen Stadium and I have to admit, Bob has a point. Still, at least I voted with sanity.” That you did, George.

4. Washington (2-1)
Pete Dawkins, Heisman Trophy winner at Army in 1958 – that’s right, Army in 1958 (Harris):

“Did I see that Stanford beat Washington? Well, yes I did, but Don James is an incredible coach and the Huskies seem to always end up in a Rose or Orange Bowl so I still think they’re better.”

5. Stanford (2-1)
Harvey Schiller, CEO GlobalOptions Group and President of the International Baseball Federation (Harris):

If I may cut in for a moment, can you tell us what the hell you’re doing voting in a college football poll?

“Well, I was SEC Commissioner about 20 years ago.”

Yeah?

“That’s all.”

Wow, ok then, uh, what’s up with Stanford?

“Well, as someone who has very little to do with college football, I relate to Stanford fans, you know? I mean, I have no idea what they’ve done so far and couldn’t tell you if they won or lost, so I think I really get what that program is all about.”

6. Oregon State (2-1)
Former Oregon State player Steve Preece (Harris):

“The thing is, as a color commentator for Beaver broadcasts, I’m completely impartial. We always improve as the season goes on. We’re still really good. We’ll bounce back. We probably would beat Arizona a month from now. We should be higher than them. We are great. We.”

7. Arizona (2-1)
Charlie Weiss, Notre Dame head coach (Coaches):

“Of course I saw the game damn game – excuse me, darn.”

But coach, you had a game at the same time.

“So what? I popped the tape in when I got home, sat down with a bucket of KFC and a side of cheesecake and watched the whole thing. Oregon State is better. Plain and simple. Do you have any popcorn?”

8. Arizona State (2-1)
John Toner, former Connecticut athletic director (Harris):

“As best I can tell, I haven’t had anything to do with college athletics since 1987. That’s about the last time Arizona State played a Pac-10 game so we just didn’t have anything to go on yet when voting on the Sun Devils. Frankly, I don’t even know why I have a vote in this thing.”

9. UCLA (3-0)
DeWayne Walker, New Mexico State head coach (coaches):

“If UCLA thinks Rick Neuheisel is a better choice than me, so be it. I’m not bitter. You tell me UCLA is 3-0 and that’s great, but for all I know they’ll finish 3-9. God knows Rick’s team was terrible last year. Who’s to say it won’t happen again?”

10.Washington State (1-3)
Clarkston Hines, former Duke player (Harris):

“Listen, I played at Duke. I know a bad team when I see one. This was an easy vote that even we couldn’t mess up.”

Full list of voters: Coaches | Harris

The Pac-10 conference seems incredibly strong this year. Is there any team that can point at a single game other than WSU and count on a victory? I don’t think so.

I got lazy this week and didn’t chase down any fake quotes, so you’ll have to do with my astute analysis.

1. Cal (3-0)
Why: This team looks good. There was a hiccup at Minnesota that doused any thoughts that they were unbeatable, but no team has looked better than Cal through three games.

2. UCLA (3-0)
Why: With wins over Tennessee and Kansas State, you could argue their performance so far is more impressive than Cal’s. They seem a bit anemic on offense, though, and they should fade a bit during conference play.

3. Washington (2-1)
Why: What credible reason do I have for putting them any lower than third? Based on results to date, I have to do it. Ugh, this has to be remedied.

4. Oregon (2-1)
Why: The win over Utah was stunning because of the defensive dominance. But like every game, an aspect (the passing game) was so inept, you can’t help but feel completely nervous. They get the fourth spot over the next three 2-1 teams simply on strength of schedule.

5. Arizona (2-1)
Why: For now, I have the Wildcats ahead of OSU because I think the win over Central Michigan was slightly more impressive than the Beavers beating UNLV. It doesn’t really matter. They play this weekend, so we’ll see soon enough.

6. Oregon State (2-1)
Why: Tough loss to Cincinnati. As we all know, September says very little about the Beavers season. We’ll be hearing more from them soon.

7. Stanford (2-1)
Why: Seventh place feels too low for the Cardinal, but everything’s a muddled mess right now and their wins are pretty weak.

8. Arizona State (2-0)
Why: They continue to have a permanent hold on the eighth spot until their season starts. It’s on the road to Georgia Saturday, so we’ll see soon enough what the Sun Devils are about.

9. Washington State (1-2)
Why: Because even the Cougars actually beat Washington within the last four games played. And they picked up a non-conference win. Enough said.

10. USC (2-1)
Why: You do not lose to Washington. You just don’t. For God sake’s USC, what the hell was that!?!

Week 2 is in the books. Once again, I dug deep and chased down some sources for the added perspective.

1. USC (2-0)
Why: I promised they’d be on top with a win at Ohio State. No team has proven more than they have and for the rest of the season, they stay here until someone beats them. I’m not as sold on Matt Barkley as an easily impressed media, though. That final drive was Joe McKnight. Give credit to Barkley for not losing the game, but I don’t think USC’s offense is necessarily championship caliber until he gets more experience.
Every college football fan in this country: @&%#, I thought this was a down year!!

2. UCLA (2-0)
Why: My rankings are result-based from the season at hand. Cal has looked great, but they haven’t proven anything other than that they can beat bad teams. UCLA won on the road at Tennessee and I would think of all fans, Cal can see why that’s impressive.
Quarterback Kevin Craft: “Coach, can I go back in now? Kevin (Prince) is hurt. I swear I’ll only throw two picks if you let me play. Please? Coach Neuheisel: Yeeeeaaaah, no. No, definitely not.

3. Cal (2-0)
Why: The Maryland win has less of a shine after the Terrapins nearly lost to James Madison. Beating Eastern Washington means nothing. Basically, they haven’t proven anything yet, but that’s not their fault. In my eyes, they are a legitimate challenger to USC.
Offensive Coordinator Andy Ludwig: “We’re averaging 55.5 points a game. I think I’ve proven I’m good at my job.” Us: “Oregon scored 50 points one time in your three years. What you did to our offense was a crime. You should be behind bars.”

4. Oregon State (2-0)
Why: The Beavers need to send giant gift baskets to all interested parties in that 3rd and 26 play on their game-winning drive. Without the pass interference penalty, they are probably answering questions about why they can’t win non-conference road games (I guess that wasn’t really a reason why they are 4th. Oh well.).
UNLV DB Deante Purvis: “You’re welcome. Please send the check in care of my bookie.”

5. Arizona (2-0)
Why: Well, looks like that win against Central Michigan was fairly impressive now that we’ve seen the Chippewas beat Michigan State.
AP Poll Voters: “We’re paying attention. Win at Iowa and we’ll consider it. It’s just that we haven’t seen you in, like, 11 years, so you’ll just have to be patient.”

6. Oregon (1-1)
Why: That was a tough ten days. There’s still a lot to figure out with this team, but after the opener, any win is a good win.
Oregon Fans: “Uh, well, hmmm, I, uh, yeah.”

7. Stanford (1-1)
Why: Oh Stanford, what happened? You’re my sleeper team this year. I believe in you, but come on. You let one get away and you know it. And don’t give me the 9 am PST start time.  You lost that thing in the second half.
Coach Jim Harbaugh: “Would somebody please show me this clipping penalty? I haven’t been able to find it.”

8. Arizona State (1-0)
Why: They’ve played one game and beat an FCS opponent. They travel to Georgia in two weeks and unless someone above them does something awful, they’ll stay in the bottom three until then.
Louisiana-Monroe: “We’re someone. Didn’t you see our 58-0 win over Texas Southern?” Me: “No, did anyone?”

9. Washington
Why: Because they won! They won! Oh, yes, they won!
Washington Fans: “We’re back, baby! Woof!” The rest of us: “Calm down Rufus. You beat Idaho.”

10. Washington State
Why: Sorry Cougs. The Huskies finally won a game and you are bad. Really bad. Paul Wulff…not a good choice.
Washington State fans: “We know, Nick. It’s kind of obvious so could you just stop rubbing it in?”

It’s the first Pac-10 rankings for 2009. For extra perspective on each team, Off The Pond has dug deep into its sources and secured real quotes from around the conference.

1. Cal
Why: Dismantled Maryland
The Cal fanbase says: “Oh my God, we KILLED Maryland. We’ll probably roll over USC and everyone else. Why aren’t we getting votes for #1? Jahvid Best is the Heisman Trophy. We’re sooo goooooood!!!”

2. USC
Why: For the moment, they have to yield to Cal. Win at Ohio State and the top spot is rightfully theirs.
USC fans retort to Cal: “Hahahahahaha. Hahaha. Ha. Haha.”

3. Stanford
Why: They beat a glorified Pac-10 team while nobody else won a game that even remotely mattered.
Stanford fans: “We played a football game on Saturday?”

4. Arizona
Why: Week 1 competition in the Pac-10 was mostly terrible. Central Michigan was at least respectable and holding a team with a quality quarterback to six points is impressive.
Coach Mike Stoops: “Well, I thought when I ran 50 yards onto the field to yell at the ref, it was a real turning point. Our guys really responded.”

5. UCLA
Why: The rest of the teams either beat an FCS team or didn’t win, so it’s only by default for now.
L.A. Times Columnist TJ Simers: “Rick Neuheisel is a lying liar who lies. He told me they beat SDSU, but I don’t believe him.”

6. Oregon State:
Why: They get a penalty for playing Portland State, but deserve a bump for being better than ASU.
Moral, Righteous and Sanctimonious Oregon State fans: “Oregon is so classless and Blount is such a thug and Chip Kelly is a born loser. I’m sooo happy!”

7. Arizona State
Why: The last of the Pac-10 winners in week 1, but over lowly Idaho State.
Everyone: “We’ll check in at the end of September when your season actually starts.”

8. Oregon
Why: Worst played game this decade by the Ducks.
New coach Chip Kelly: “Why are those headlights so bright? I feel stuck. I can’t move! Will someone turn off those damn headlights?!?”

9. WSU
Why: They’re terrible.
Conversation between two Duck fans: Fan 1: “When do we play Washington State?” Fan 2: “Why?” Fan 1: “I want to know when we’ll get our first win.” Fan 2: “Oh, looks like Oct. 3.”

10. Washington
Why: Uh, they’re on the verge of a Pac-10 football record for most consecutive losses. Until that gets fixed, they’re #10.
Savior of Husky football coach Steve Sarkisian: “We try really hard now! We only lost by eight at home to such a powerful program. We feel really good about us. This is U-Dub football!